We should not live like human beings on earth!!!!

hai all...

We should not live like human beings!!

Then we will be sad, suffer, no peace, get diseases and die!!

Because basis of life here is...'Life is full of sorrows. Life is a struggle. Every one is a cheat & threat & suspicious. We have to be alert. So, life is full of anxiety, sorrows, fights, sadness, fear. Any number of gods, holy books, god men are not able to keep human beings peaceful, happy & healthy.

Instead, start living like god!!

i.e thinking "Life is fun. Life is to live happily & peacefully. Every one is good. All are helpful. Accept life as it is. Don't resist destiny. Destiny is always good and +ve. We only perceive -ve & fear. We are part of nature & remain in some form always. If we live like this we will be peaceful, happy, radiate health, peace & happiness to all. Gods, god men, holy books are not necessary!!! We will become noble, guru, rishi & god!!

rams

How to handle troublesome relationships???

Hai all...

All of us have many people in our life. We keep fighting with them. They become head ache too many times. We feel like ending the relationship too. Some times we don't know what to do. No point in trying to change others after some attempts.


We have to just ask ourselves 'Do i need that person in my life forever or not?'

If the answer is 'No', just peel off quietly leaving some room to join back in case there is a change in that person or in our decision. All human beings make decision errors. All human beings change continuously during their life cycle. We have to check whether we have the patience. In relationships, strategies and planning will only bring failures. Love and patience only will bring success.

If the answer is 'yes' then it is better to change ourselves and adapt to that person. We can adjust and place ourselves in the ok state within the discomfort.

We will get 'yes' answer with only those whom we like beyond our needs and wants from that person.
If the other person is exploiting your obsession then it is better to contact a counselor or psychiatrist who will take you out of the obsession and set you free.

If the other person is in obsessive love or addictive love then it is not love. Better peel off. They have to be treated. You can't be happy and peaceful in that relationship. If you feel you are in obsession then it is better to change ourselves or take help and change. Obsession is not love when it affects our and others' health, happiness, peace, daily chores and success in life.

peacefully yours....rams...psychologist.

How mothers spoil the life of theirs and their children?

Hai all...many girls get married...but when they don't click well with the husband they get attached to their children...children become their life!!...they derive all their emotional needs from them. Later when they become adolescent and need love and affection from people of their age and opposite gender also, then they spend more time on real and virtual relationships...the possessive mother does not get her needs fulfilled...this frustration is shown by her in various types of behaviours...then fight starts...the mother becomes parasite of the children and her entire life becomes dependent on children...she plans the marriage, her further life etc consciously or subconsciously weaved with the children...this affects the married life of children and also the mother...many mothers with teenagers suffer due to this....the children also bang their heads....so, mothers, beware!!!...girls and boys, check out if your mother is attached toooo much affecting your life...if yes, take them to a counselor, or else your life is doomed!!

rams

What will happen to socialisation of human being and social systems like family, marriage

Hai all...what will happen to social systems of marriage, family etc?...what will happen to human socialization?...may be it will be like this...

Earlier it was agrarian society which was family, family relationships, relatives centric...
Now it is industrial society which is self, friends, advancement in career, achievements, wealth centric, profession centric where maximum time is spent at office physically and even 'office at home' mentally....

This will give more stress...

Stress will decrease the physical needs...

This will result in late marriages or marriages on compulsion or for name sake or no marriages....achievement motive will over rule this need...

Many will live single...and derive emotional needs satisfied from office friendships, virtual relationships, live-in relationships, pet animals, nature (e.g gardening), art forms, simulated relationships (e.g with robots, softwares, apps that simulate human emotions/equivalents)...

Population rise (rate) will reduce...

Marriages and families will reduce...old type of relatives will reduce...

More researches in robots and software simulations to bring in videos or people who can replace human beings in relationships and emotions...

More people will live in fantasies and imaginary relationships...

What next?????.....let us wait and watch....

rams-psychologist

what is religion and what is spirituality?

Hai all....lot is spoken about RELIGION and SPIRITUALITY...every one has his own opinion...i also have my own...

Generally religion and spirituality are defined based on God and beliefs based on god ('God Centric').
I think they should be based on Human beings ('Human Centric').

God centric definition leads to fear, low self confidence, parasitic dependence on god, obsession, division of human beings, emotional attachment to god leading to fights between different sects/religions etc.
Human centric definition removes all these negatives and leads to happiness, peace, good physical-mental-social health and self actualisation.

The center of any definition related to HUMAN BEINGS should be PHYSICAL-MENTAL-SOCIAL well-being of ALL human beings.

so, my definitions are as follows...

Religion - A way of life. This will define the way we live. The activities, beliefs, rituals, hobbies, way we relate to others and social systems around, dress, food, all mind related issues etc. This will be different for different people living at different places in the world with some commonalities. Any religion which is based on 'love and care for ALL human beings' only will survive and prosper naturally.

Spirituality - Any physical act or mental act, place, person, item, life event, social situation, belief that gives life long physical-mental-social health to that individual. So, this also will differ from person to person with some commonalities. Being in the present, enjoying what we do, accepting people and realities as they are, having a physical and mental exercise regime is Spiritual living.

Spiritually yours
rams

How to know if we are in love with some one or not?

Hai all...specially the teen ages....How to know if we are in love or not?...Many mess up their lives without knowing this and come for counseling...

When you feel you have fallen in love with some one ask the question to yourself 'OK, what do you want from that person?'...if the immediate spontaneous answer that appears in the mind is physical intimacy and reproductive needs then you are not in love. You have just an animal instinct. It is better to leave that person.

But if the answer that appears is 'I want that person to be happy, healthy, peaceful, successful, enjoy freedom and feel liberated to skies and above, grow in all dimensions in life viz knowledge, skills, wisdom, wealth, fame, authority etc'...I want to contribute to that person in this endeavor throughout my life!' then you are in love with that person.

peacefully yours
rams

need for a course and training for adolescents on 'love' and 'relationships'

Hai all...

The adolescent age is in search for the mate without their knowledge as the body has matured. It is an age of adventure, forming new relationships and falling in love.

As the social networks have flourished on internet the opportunities for forming new relationships across the continents, cultures, religions and castes is easy.

The issue in front is neither the middle aged or old aged people of the past have undergone a proper course on 'love' and 'relationships'. They only have the experience which is a limited knowledge. They are able to only scare or control or threaten the adolescents which is not having the desired effect.

The adolescents feel freedom on net in forming relationships wildly and widely without knowing the consequences. They don't know the various stages or phases of love, relationship forming and the effects of these on mind, body, daily chores, work, the significant people etc.

It is like jumping inside a whirling lake without knowing the currents inside.

They feel that they are the masters in assessing and evaluating people without knowing the subconscious drives which make people behave in a particular way for satiation of the needs.

Human beings being social animals can not live in isolation. The love which involves physical relationships has been the biggest brain killer for people of all ages.

The adolescents freely share pics of their body and their body itself with the people in relationships and land up in obsession disorders, possessiveness, multiple sexual relationships etc and realize after a while that their brain has got damaged so badly that they need prolonged treatment and counseling.

Reproductive need is  a basic id need which is subconscious and makes a person to say anything and do anything to gratify the need without bothering about legal and social implications.

1. Has anyone got satisfied with one hug or one kiss or sex once with their mates?...yes, it is addictive.

2. Physical relationship brings in too much of attachment, possessiveness, feeling of love which collapses a person in case the relationship breaks for any reason.

3. People of distant places fall in love madly, unable to meet and keep crying as the gratification of the need is met.

So, 'love' and 'relationships' are though basic needs, but dangerous too if they do not work out well.

Knowing the dynamics, phases, effects of these will at least make us aware what is happening while falling in love or being in a relationship so that we can take precautions to avoid the damage to our brain, life, career, living and other significant relationships we have at home, relatives and society.

keep rocking

rams