'My lover went abroad and brought such a cheap gift! When i can give my life and everything why my lover is like this?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS...of course, for married people too!!

Qn. "My lover went abroad and came back with two gifts for me. I did not like them! When i inquired the cost worked out to be the cost of one lunch we have together for which i pay every day!...I felt too bad!...Especially when my lover can afford to spend much more than that easily and that it was the first time the lover went abroad!...Though i felt good when my lover was selected to go abroad, i felt, how i am going to live without seeing for one week!!!!....And when i was soooo expectantly waiting to see, if the person comes back with such a mean gift....It hurts me!!....When i feel so much for my lover and ready to do anything and give everything of mine, why my lover does not have the same feeling and love for me?...Why on this earth i should be treated like this?..."

Ans: In today's world the Life time of a Relationship is much much less than the Life time of an Electron at upper energy level!!...So, if we keep comparing and 'costing' people and relationships, we can not have people and relationships in our life. No peace. No happiness!...We have to consider every small act, every small gift, every small or rare phone call or msg as highly valuable. Else we will miss the bus!!...of course, there are enough buses for every one to board and travel for what ever time they want. So, finally....

1. Every relationship or person in our life depends on our decision. If we want to continue, continue. Else leave and move on!...We also need to know that this freedom is with the other person too!!

2. If we are possessive and comparing, we can never have life long relationships. We can never be happy, peaceful and healthy!

3. If we want a person or relationship, then we have to accept that person as he/she is, that relationship as it is and consider everything, every act as highly valuable and we have to tell and express this in all possible ways. e,g when the other person gives a call, tell 'Whavvv! Thank you sooooooo much paa!...Soooo nice of you!!...Thank you so much for calling. It means a lot to me! I was missing you a lotttt!' the relationship will strengthen. Instead if we tell in the normal way 'You bloody cheat, got time only now, is it?...You logged on fb and whatsapp hundred times today, telling me 'busy', and finally when no one is there you have called me up!'...this kills us and our relationships too!!

4. So, if one needs to be successful in a relationship, if one wants to retain a person for life long, then very high level of maturity, patience, spirituality (understanding people and live and keeping the mind cool!) etc are required. Else it is not possible!!

5. Every relationship is spicy at the beginning and becomes a curd rice after some time and breaks or becomes only an acquaintance, if it goes to the third stage of possessiveness!

6. Mutual trust is the vital back bone of a relationship. But the easy oppurtunity to have multiple relationships makes one to lose the trust in the other quickly and easily!...So, no relationship losts more than a month!

7. ONLY DEVOTEE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP CAN LOST A LIFE TIME!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Social Psychologist!!