Sir, what do you say about ‘Friends with Benefits’?

Qn. Sir, what do you say about ‘Friends with Benefits’?

Ans:  This is a new relationship that has been invented by the youngsters of today. It means ‘There is no commitment in this relationship. Anyone can peel off from the relationship anytime without even intimating the other person or with or without the consent of the other person. There are no emotions between the individuals. It is only mutual understanding, accepting and sharing of each other’s needs whenever it is comfortable for both’.

Now, the answer for the question…The short answer is below. The long answer is below that.

The natural POSSESSIVENSS and OBSESSIVE characteristics of human beings will not allow them to be in good mental health in this relationship...so, 'friendship with benefits' of body needs will not give good mental health!!...It might appear to be good due to the ‘feeling of goodness’ it gives till one lands up with the possessiveness and obsessions!!...Thereafter it will only be guilt, pain, downfall, depression, spoiled mental health, crimes etc etc in life!!

The long answer is…We don’t know who we are with respect to handling of our emotions or feelings, obsessions and possessiveness. We don’t know our stability on these issues. We don’t know when we will slip or when we will remain stable and confident.

After all these are variables in one’s life and keeps changing depending upon our age, stage in life, life experiences, challenges, ability to face or accept perceived failures, our ability to face them, our body needs, mind needs, socialisation needs, state of hormones and neurotransmitter secretions, Emotional Quotient, Spiritual Quotient etc. All these are interdependent functions each influencing the other.

After all, the various secretions, chemical reactions, biological, physical and chemical changes that occur in our systems and brain only get converted into our thoughts, feelings and behaviours!!

Of course, all these can be kept stable by our food, life style, habits, culture and various other things like beliefs, constitution, definition, meaning, purpose, passion, aim or goal of life etc.

The present race to excel in comparison with others around, at school, college, organisations, societies leading to spoiled sleep, rest, food cycles, unhealthy entertainments, health compromising beliefs-definitions of life-living, stresses in body-mind and relationships etc  is what is pushing the girls and boys towards such unstable health compromising relationships.

Wake up every one!!

Peacefully yours…Rams…Psychologist!!