What is Spirituality? (oi students, this is meant for you also and not just for the oldies!)

hai boys and girls (if you get angry with this then i will ask "hai paattees and thaathhaas"...is that ok?...let us come out of the 'age related and 'hierarchical position' related behaviours, which age us super fast!)...how are we?

Spirituality is a part of entire human life from womb to tomb...to become CEOs or top guns in job, or to live a peaceful and successful family and social life you need to live a spiritual life...so, students, if you read the mail below, you will understand these words!

thank you for all those who sent mails and messages saying 'great mails' 'eye openers' etc. One has said 'started my Life Version.02' etc...thank you all!

a special thanks to all who read the long mail completely and patiently. This is also a bit long but certainly you will feel a change at the end.

those who want to start with a laughter can read the last para first...or read it at the end and laugh!

Our human life is connected by thousands of invisible threads. The places where we live, the situations we meet in life are all continuously and consistently shaping us and getting shaped by us.

The situations we meet creates a good number of possibilities for us to behave. It is very interesting to study and understand how we influence as well as get influenced by one another.

so, even when we are alone we are thinking about others...i.e social thinking...this study about social thinking, social influence and social relations is very interesting!...it is important for us as engineers, managers, leaders, HR professionals, scientists and of course, as adaptable human beings for peaceful living.

It is interesting to discover how a social situation leads a very different people to act very similarly. As well as how very similar people act very differently. we need to understand the nature of social behavior and social thought of people around us.

Few years back ganesh chathurthi was celebrated inside the homes and at temples with bhakthi. Now many political parties approach police and conduct celebrations, poojas, processions and what not. The result is seen as photos now in news papers...all thousands of ganesh idols are floating in gutters, dirty ponds, blocking the passage of water. Do they get immersed?...are they soluble?...The belief in god earlier took only a turn of superstition. You can see now what all turns it is taking!...will this stop with just ganesh or will spread to other gods too?

All these things are happening, not because of lack of education...it is because of our culture of 'emotionally and blindly following' without using our brains. For us 'following rituals' is 'being spiritual'!...we don't ask ourselves 'will doing this ritual result in what we want?'...so, leads to 'everything is there but nothing is there' situation...ie everything is there but the result is not there!...e.g the famous sweet shop near PSG Tech is recently renovated with shining granite flooring!...but the outside cemented corridor gets painted with the 'cow dung' water every friday or auspicious days...all customers step on the wet cow dung and spoil the granite floor. Why to waste so much of money and change cement flooring to granite flooring if our head is full of cow dung?...on festival days my street stinks with cow dung as every house front is washed with thick layer of cow dung!

I received a mail from a Senior Scientific Officer of TATA...it is here...

Dear Ram,
You are going spiritually romantic. That's what I find out from my research with spiritual aspirants.  I call it spiritual you are calling it romantic. The same western ghats mesmerized me spiritually but my location  was Madhukkarai, where I spent my childhood.

this made me to think about the definition of spirituality!...I have not read Bhagwad Gita or Bible or Kuran or any other religious or the so called spiritual or sacred or holy books of spiritual leaders or mahans or rishis etc. I have never attended the speeches or lectures of any guru and i am not part of any such spiritual groups or organisations. No symbols of any religion or caste neither physically nor in any of my mental structures!

But I learnt it in my own way through my mother...you know how?...all children feel 'down times' and they go to their mom's lap or hugs for the emotional support to gain mental strength. I also used to go and lie down on her lap. But the moment she knows i am approaching and my head touches the lap she used to shout and push me away vehemently...real hard push... "Get lost from here! go to the bed and sleep!...oil on head will spoil my saree and who will wash!"...of course, she is right!...so, I stopped applying oil on my head. For this also I got beaten up and my mom and grandma used to chase me and 'pour' the oil on the head. For grandma, oil should flow on forehead, that is the right kind of application!...in such a situation all children, endowed with the natural coping skills, modify their behaviours...if they perceive empathetically and positively then it leads to constructive behaviours and resilience. But when perceived negatively then leads to destructive, vengeance, revenge taking behaviours affecting their studies and social relations. They will tear the books, dresses, damage all that of their parents, siblings, cause damage to their name and fame, do not study, bring in disciplinary issues from school and society. so, check out if you know some children like this and know the reason to apply the right intervention. Now, coming back to the issue...

so, what I did?...I did not go to bed. Instead I went out and slept on my dog, which never...never...I repeat...never barked at me or threw me...or bit me...instead it used to wager the tail and lick me all over nicely. So, he replaced my mother. This gave me so much of solace that either I studied or slept or slept on my dog. Made me to bring birds, hens, cats, fishes, and an 'amazon forest' within 2 cents of land with all types of plants, flowers, trees...tubers, climbers...name anything, it was there! two coconut trees, guva, curry leave tree, pomagranette, drum stick tree, all types of 'keerai's (palaks), onion, tomato, brinjal, beetroots, carrot, cauliflower...woff...everything!!!...all hybrid from TNAU seeds!...all these brought lots of birds, worms, butter flies, grass hoppers, of course, snakes too!...hens made a poultry, hundreds of all types of fishes, a big cage full of love birds...so, I was grown up by them with lots of love, love and only love. They taught me the real meaning of spirituality...as anything that gives true happiness, good health, love, success, peace, good social well being etc.

Today, you open any news paper ('thina thanthi') or any book...it will say 'aanmeegam' (tamil translation for spirituality) and contain all pictures of different gods and goddesses, all beliefs related to them, all stories, rituals to be performed, dos and don'ts...wofff...and what not!...our people read all these, spend hours and hours in temples...at the end are they happy?...they are full of anger, frustration, jealousy, 'aathangam'...full of negativities about neighbours, relatives, office staff, friends...suffocating!!!!

Is it spirituality?...does their understanding of spirituality lead to peace, happiness, good physical, mental and social health and success?

My understanding of spirituality is different. You might disagree with me. But it does not matter. I follow it and i am happy, peaceful and successful.

It is not about god!

It is not about godly stories, beliefs, rituals and related superstitions (astrology, nameology, numerology, and all such allergic 'logies' without logic!)

They linked god probably thinking that 'fear of god will make human beings, humble, follow value systems' etc. If this is right then every one should be happy, healthy and peaceful!...but we find bodies full of diabetes, hypertension, heart problems, minds full of wild negative strategies and plans on people and relationships, minds with mental disorders causing disharmony inside the house and outside...are they healthy?...they are only part of 'varuthha padum vayothigar sangam!'

Spirituality is about 'how we are supposed to live?' than 'how we are living now!'...it originates from mental aspect of life flowing down to the physical behaviours and 'living the life' rather than the material and sensual aspects of life.

Spirituality is being with nature. Being with other living organisms and plant life. It is about eating only natural food. It is about doing lots of physical work in natural environs (walking, running, skipping and all sorts of exercises (those five types of body parts movements in my blog) and following an 'exercise regime'). It is about doing yoga asanas and meditation to keep the neurotransmitter and hormonal secretions in balance. It is not about 'controlling' tongue (eating) or mind or body or behaviours. It is about 'regulating' all these through above methods so that there are no body urges to eat or 'pleasure' or harm any living organism. It does not mean we will become numb. It only means that we will feel hungry to give nutrition for the body. A pleasant, spiritualistic and soft body urge for 'pleasure'.

It is about not 'expecting anything' from human beings. It is about doing everything by yourself. 'swayam kaam karo'. It is about not being dependent upon others for your food, cleaning, washing and all other chores we expect from mother, father, wife, husband and siblings.

It is about being empathetic.

It is about not being jealousy and comparing.

It is about not demanding, controlling, ordering etc.

It is about loving, caring and giving. It is about how to keep the other fellow human being happy and peaceful. Of course, both in relationship should have this spiritual feeling.

It is about being simple. It is about having least needs and wants.

It is about being noble.

It is about being without anger and all negative thoughts, emotions and behaviours with all people, situations, life events, other living organisms and the environment around us.

It is about being calm in mind and body. It is about accepting everything in the way they happen. Successes and failures. It is about accepting people as they are. It is about knowing our capacities and planning our goals within that. It is about having 'aasai' (needs and wants for growth) but not having 'peraasai' (greed). 

It is not about differentiating people. It is not about 'differentiating the humanity and integrating small groups'. It is about no differentiation and no need for integration. It is about no borders. It is about no exploitation of people or scarce resources. It is about preserving nature and not destroying nature. If we preserve nature, then there is no exploitation or cheating, then there is no war or boundary of nations (all wars of past, present or future are for 'possessing the scarce resources').

It is about not being 'possessive' about people, places, wealth, properties, events, life situations, relationships etc.

It is about search for wisdom...any true knowledge for happiness, good health, peace, harmony etc.

It has no gods or religions or rituals or beliefs or politics.

It has no gurus or leaders or rishis or Master or 'god sent prophets or mahan's...it is that all of us are equal and all of us are these sacred people. 

It does not require a guru to learn about spirituality, as all of us are gurus to each other. I have learnt the value systems from all these dogs, birds, worms, plants etc and of course, from each human being i have come across, mostly from people less aged than me, children!...the true gods!

God is not partial to bless some and curse some. Let us not downgrade god by applying our human traits to gods. Nature has produced every human being with adequate intelligence to learn from nature about spirituality. 

Spirituality is not about 'not having sex' or growing beard or shaving the heads ('mazhithhalum neettalum vendaa, ulagam pazhithha thozhithhu vidin') or having some magical skills, wearing clothes or ornaments or garlands or any outfits that create a sacred or holy image. It is about being a human being.

It is not about creating 'fear'. It is about creating 'love, affection and peace'.

Mother Theresa lived a better spiritualistic life than the spiritual gurus or those adored by people of present and past as spiritual leaders.

It has no linkage or identity with politics, religion, caste and all such divisive forces.

It is not about what to eat, what dress to wear and how to wear. It is about feeling freedom, comfort and making others also to experience the same.

It does not mean remain away from human beings. It is about 'not being with', while 'being with' human beings.

It is about eating other living organisms (plants, animals and human beings) 'only for survival' and not for pleasure, variety, nutrition, strength, good health, happiness etc.

It is not about 'following' the so called 'great' people blindly and emotionally attached. It is about using our brain, thinking, using logical and realistic methods, perceiving and following as per 'what is right for us'. 

It is about 'not being emotional' with anything and any one even regarding emotions.

It is not about fearing of gods and people for their 'nuisance value'. It is about 'changing them' or 'remaining away from them' or being an example to bring in the change.

It is 'we are nature and nature is us!'...it is about not differentiating 'us' and 'nature'. Not about differentiating 'us' and 'universe'. We are universe. We are earth. We are gods. Every one is same. It is about seeing everything as one entity. If we see like this then there is no fear of death, no fear of nature, no fear of natural calamities, and all the stories we build to accept 'aging and death' are not required.

It is not about blaming others for not being spiritual but to live a spiritual life for our own good. 

It is not about 'not living a family life'...it is not about 'living like a rishi or sanyasi or 'thuravi' etc. It is about 'living a family life while being a sanyasi'. All great sanyasis lived a happy family life (e.g vishwamitran, vashist, thiruvalluvar etc). There is no 'thuravaram' without passing through 'illaram', as nature has produced all bodies, minds, emotions for reproduction and rearing. Faking gives satisfaction but not a complete gratification. Evolution has added more wisdom and skills but has not withdrawn the basic natural instincts for survival and procreation. So, 'illaram' is the route to 'thuravaram'.

Reaching higher hierarchical positions (CEOs) in organisations 'with out any diseases' and while being happy and healthy physically, mentally and socially requires high EQ (Emotional Quotient) and SQ (Spiritual Quotient) more than the IQ. An average IQ, which nature has given to all, coupled with hard work, high EQ and SQ will certainly self actualize and self transcend an individual.

Social scientists define it as 'search for the sacred'. But in my definition it is just 'being a human being'! (check out the comparison between animals and human beings in my blog. As per this, at the moment, we are the worst animals on earth!).

Every  human being can feel that 'spiritual experience' which all gurus or so called spiritual leaders talk about if they live as above. It is not the 'proprietary property' or 'god given' special 'varam' or blessings for only few.

It is not a 'process of re-formation or transformation'...then it has a connotation of 'being bad first and reforming later'. It is being spiritual by birth and from cradle to grave. It is living spiritual from womb to tomb.

Some say it is about asking questions like 'who am i?', 'what is the purpose or meaning of this life?' 'why did i come here?' etc. If they give this mail as the answer then it is spirituality. If it makes one to 'go behind' like goats then it is not spirituality. 

Some say it is 'an internal experience of an individual'. It is not about the 'moments' of that experience. It is about experiencing freedom, happiness, enlightenment throughout our living at homes, at schools, at college, in organisations and in society.

Psychology and Sociology are all about 'overt and covert individual or group behaviours' and therefore, TRUE SPIRITUALITY IS VERY MUCH WITH IN THE AMBIT OF PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIOLOGY. If others define it differently it does not affect me. I say this not just here, but at forums where all big wigs are present.

No sacred book or sacred human being is out of the ambit of 'research' or 'questioning'. Medieval period of 8th to 13 century has gone by where the 'sacred's and 'holy's were untouched, not researched, not questioned and blindly and emotionally followed. 'slavery' and 'master-slave', 'manager-worker' concepts are buried long back. Spirituality is not about 'controlling', 'slaving' using the whip of god, or religion or caste or politics or legal weapons or threatening or 'nuisance value' etc.

Spirituality is not about 'talking something in the air'...not understandable by common people...to create a feeling of 'mahan or guru' or 'he knows and has experienced great things we are not blessed with to know or experience!' etc...spirituality is 'being down to earth'. It is about talking 'practical life' and 'living on earth' in harmony with realistic, logical and practical things. It is about 'being with all' and not 'separating from others' as mahan or guru or mahatma etc with different attires.

It is not just about 'inner life', 'purity of motives, affections, intentions, inner dispositions, analysis of feelings' etc. It is about practical life.

A farmer or a beggar also can live a spiritual life and preach about spiritualism to others.

Many have talked, written and mostly confused people with so called 'high funda' 'wisdom of higher domain not understandable by common man' etc. They also gave lots of stories and examples which has taken the common man in a different direction and made him follow a totally inhuman ways of living. 

Many go for 'seva' in satsungs but do not do their own chores at home and are parasitic. They demand, expect and possess others, their times and energies. Don't know the real meaning of 'seva'. Are they trying to get a 'respectable image' rather than 'living a spiritual life'?

Every human being is supposed to live a spiritual life and not just gurus or spiritual leaders.

Spirituality is not 'talking theories, principles, rules and regulations' 'reading and forgetting' 'not for talking, preaching to get money or respect or 'great person' images. It is about 'following' in life and being a good example to others. To create a 'culture' of spiritual life, to spread it to others like a 'contagious pleasant disease of happiness and peace'...by initially following these 'spiritual practices' as habits at home so that people look at us, understand the benefits, copy the habits, follow and reap the benefits and form and spread as a 'culture'.

You know, since my childhood i am following this life, but my parents feel i live a 'sweet fuckkkk all life' 'don't know how to live' etc. They attend satsungs. Just few months back my mother called me to teach spirituality...one of her many attempts...showed some book...lots of pics...rain drops falling etc...she was telling 'you know this is how the universe has formed' etc. When i told her 'i knew this during school days!' she got fed up, as usual, and left saying 'ithu thirunthaatha janmam!'...she has taken my daughters to satsungs, after which they have told her 'all these we know paatti and have read in our moral science'...attending satsungs or saying 'i follow so and so' is not the point, 'living the real spiritual' life and being noble is what is important!...let us not go to satsungs for 'identity' or 'image's!

Spirituality is not in processions, burning crackers, doing poojas on roads, constructing temples on the road side near gutters, naming thousands of gods ('kudal uruvi maariyamman' is a god's name!), drinking liquor and dancing on road for the 'parai' drum beats, 'going unstable out of high emotional state' and calling it 'god has entered the body', following all sorts of superstitions. We can only have 'fun and entertainment' out of the mockery of god and  beliefs on god. No wonder foreigners laugh at us and captured and ruled us!...situation has not changed and it is going worse making the 'internal white men' to take that liberty to rule.

Spirituality is not in temples and mutts with boundaries. It is in open vast nature. We can not become spiritual by standing in long queues, fighting to go for 'priority' darshans, 'paid' darshans, shouting slogans and religious words / phrases, mantras, feeling achieved after few seconds of darshan. It is in spending more time in the natural environs of the temple. It is not in the sounds of people, drums and all the music instruments played in temples. They only make people go to high emotional states and go unstable. Spirituality is in the sounds of nature. In the silence of the peaceful situation in the temple. No wonder people come out saying 'wofff! what a rush! It is life and death there!'. See what we have made out of temples and 'aanmeegam'!...we have created auspicious days, dates and times and there is a mad rush! Can peace come out of rush?

Spirituality is not taught by gods, god men, gurus, masters, spiritual leaders, mahans etc. It is learnt in nature. Taught by breeze, drizzles, clouds, plants, insects, animals, flowers, smells of nature, birds, fishes, frogs...list is endless!

Spirituality is not about chanting vedhas, hymns, doing 'homam's and 'yaagam's, giving 'offerings' to god etc. It is about understanding the meaning and following in life.

It is not about how many thousands or what wealth we put in the temple Hundi...it is about un-welding our closed skull and start thinking. Can you name one god or god man who is poor?...any temple or mutt having less than a crore?...how many thosands of tons of gold or silver or diamonds in the temples and mutts?...why should a noble mahan have thousands or lakhs of crores?...why are we poor compared to gods and god men?...is it spirituality?...why should women be attached to temples (devadasis) where people following 'brahmacharya' live?...all human bodies whether mahan or man, all have functional reproductive system...so, it is not wrong with them, it is the wrong with us and our understanding that 'not indulging in reproduction is spirituality'...'controlling is spirituality'!

It is not the property of people of higher castes as it has no identity of caste.

It is not about living in mutts or ashrams. It is about how we live in side our homes.

Spirituality is 'not a knowledge' to read, teach, preach and forget. It is a life to live and follow.

It is about thinking, being creative, pursuing an art form which is intertwined with all life events.

Spirituality is about being in our true self by self-disclosure, free expression and meditation. 

Spirituality is not a profitable business where money is transacted for preaching or in the spiritual processes. It is a real business of activities in life.

Spirituality is not about abusing the body by dieting ('not eating' is different from 'dieting'...'not eating' is keeping the stomach empty and resting...'dieting' is not giving nutrition for the body and taking work out of it, abusing!!!)...performing pilgrimages...It is not about just doing 'prayers' as a ritual...

Spirituality is not 'being emotional on religions and sects'...west asia, from where the two major religions of the world emerged, is it at peace?...why?...the reason why two great people came up with their religions was to make the fighting people to live in calm and peace...now they have taken religion as the reason for fighting and dying. 

It is about having qualities such as love,  patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, responsibility, harmony, and a concern for others...not to look at people with a suspicion and an aim to exploit and cheat.

Spirituality is not something external to us, for us to research or adore or wonder as if we are not destined to have it or some thing beyond us or only for gifted people...it is just our own day to day living, the way we live! 

Spirituality is nothing great, it is just our personal well-being, that increases our morale, happiness and life satisfaction.

Ok...I think it is enough about spirituality....here is the 'mokkai' of the day....

  

When we walk, why the hands move?...why in opposite direction?...why not in the same direction?...why are we not able to walk comfortably keeping the hands stuck to the body?...why are we able to walk faster when we move the hands swing more?...can we swing more and keep smaller steps?...why?...if both hands are not there, will our body in motion be balanced?...is there any relationship between the dimension of the hands or weight of the hands or direction of their motion with the balance of the body? (What you do is take a text book on 'Theory of Machines'...another text book on 'Kinematics of Humanoid Robots'...a third book on Psychology...read all of them...in just few pages of reading you will get such funny questions...then you come to me...we will start a "Scratchers' sangam"!...(scratchers association)...

ok boys and girls...have a good week end...bye...

Spiritually yours...

rams

What is Romance?

Hai boys and girls! (as all from 'infants' to 'thathhaa pattees' are boys and girls for me!) ("vanthuttaandaaa, marupadiyum!...the 'mokkai' boss with 'sappai' matter!!)

just ask any indian around ‘what is romance?’…I am sure he or she will say ‘a boy and a girl or a husband and wife being intimate verbally or physically’! ("yendaa, unakku ithai vittaa vera topic ke kidaikkaathaadaa!"...."dei machhaan, yellaa matter um ithuley thaaney vanthu nikkuthu, for our boys and girls!")

Our dirty, flesh minded and narrow minded culture teaches only this!...as long we attach ourselves for happiness and pleasure with human beings without expectations, possessiveness and a mentality of ‘how can I keep the other person happy’ without thinking about ‘what is he or she supposed to give me as wife, lover, husband, father, mother, sister, brother, uncle etc’, then we can be happy…but does our culture teach this?...with ship loads of expectations, demands, dictates and unlimited possessiveness our culture has taught us, how can we be happy and healthy inside the homes and with our relationships?

More we romance with nature and other organisms in nature, we will never get let down and the true happiness is assured. They never say 'i don't have time!'...'i don't have the mood for romance!'...'i am busy!' etc...just go to a dog for a play and see if it ever says no! (of course, not those two minutes when it is eating!)...

Today morning, it was a pleasant weather, cloudy, little chilly…i went up to the terrace…watched the sky…lots of low altitude rainy clouds were showing ‘tata’ and going…of course, some passing by birds gave flying kisses too!...can you see my red cheeks?...sky was so pleasant…I could see the complete line of western ghat hills covered with the clouds…has any one staying in PSG Tech hostel or staying near there has seen this sky line of western ghats???....it was such a romantic scene I am sure you will all say ‘nutty guy!’ he is!...came down and asked my wife…what do you see from our terrace?...she said ‘bath rooms of neighbours!’ (irritation)…when I said ‘look up little baby!’…she said ‘multistoried buildings!’…when I said ‘little more up!’ she got angry and said ‘what is there? Only sky! Stupid!’…there was no romance or love or life in it!

‘did you ever see the beautiful sky line of western ghats?’…she said ‘I don’t see anything!’ and went off! (I am only scared that tomorrow if she goes up and spots marudhamalai murugan temple from our terrace on the western ghats she will start breaking coconuts and performing pooja from the terrace!!!...and I will go nuts ‘porukking’ the coconuts!!!)

So, we need to learn romancing the nature…and if music is added?...whavvv…what a great feeling!...

While romancing the nature, my player played this song…what a feeling!

http://youtu.be/7OP9xUIU7ug

and the next song was…

http://youtu.be/ZbSTGsNaEQM

you  know the first hindi words my daughter uttered…I just took her to a valley at Goa on a rainy day for a great view…two and half year old girl…she said ‘kitna achhaa hei!’…that was the first time I knew that she knew not only hindi but she is a romantic girl in the real sense!

The crux is any one who knows how to romance with self, nature, knowledge, wisdom, living organisms, art forms can never be unhappy, unhealthy and not successful!

keep romancing boys and girls!

bye

rams

Are we really living our lives of 'limited days' here on earth?

 

 

 

 

hai all...how are we?...don't get scared about another long mail...it is three days holidays!!!...so, take your own sweet time and read this mail, ok!

 

News papers, or walk in our streets observing people or talking to any one is a good joke for me as it is full of fun!

 

for ganesh chathurthi, it is 1477 specially made ganesh idols of different sizes worshipped at different places in justtttt Coimbatore only...imagine the numbers all over tamil nadu or india!!!...may be in lakhs!...each 'god' was guarded all 24 hours by police...day and night...you can do the arithmetic to find how many thousands or lakhs of police spoiled their days...and many political parties conducted this...they were immersed in 'sacred waters(!!!)'...where do we have clean water bodies to immerse them???...due to the big size each statue was painted 'by standing on ganesh'...great!!!...we and our great new culture we are creating!

 

now read on more about our great culture we have created...

 

THE GENITALS BASED CULTURE

 

Indian culture…by culture I mean ‘the way we define life, set our beliefs and attitudes and carry out our day to day living’.

 

Note: I am not talking about any religion or cast. It is about living in general across all religions and castes in our country.

Also my focus is on the majority who live in villages, towns and suburban areas…not those live in urban and metropolitan cities.

In fact everyone in our country irrespective of place of living or type of living has some traces or deposits of our culture. So, it is only the percentage varies between urban and suburban/ village/town.

Our culture is ‘birth-go to school to score good marks to get into good course / college to get good job, earn lots of wealth (house, gold and all comforts like A/C, car, costly dresses, outing which make others say ‘they are rich’)-attain age-get married-produce children-live together or nearby-again ‘attain age’, marriage of children and grand children-die’.

So, ‘birth-attain age-marriage-produce children-death’ is the basic structure of life.

The everyday thinking and worry of the parents here is about ‘oh, I have got a girl. She should be safe (i.e sexual harassments), should attain age, should get married, should produce children. From birth to 12 years their thinking is always focused on her genitals being safe, then keep thinking about attaining age which is again on genitals and then their friendships (whether she has sexual relationship or not!), which again makes them to be centered on genitals (as they think ‘all relationships end in sex’), then they think about marriage which again is for reproduction (‘shanthi muhurtham’, ‘first night’ etc), they keep observing if the couple are happy in their ‘genital’ life, and if she does not give birth in a year or two, they keep thinking about the issues related to genitals, and after that keep thinking about ‘extra marital affairs’ which again is related to genitals and this thinking ends only when they die.

This makes them constantly worry about the dressing behaviours, relationships, entertainment, work and rest of their children, spouse and siblings with respect of safety of genitals…a feeling of ‘safety’ or a feeling of ‘losing’ something or someone.

We can pardon them as in an agrarian society (which is based on ‘eat-work-entertain-rest’) all pleasures and happiness inside the home and with relatives revolved around ‘sex’.

They invited all friends and relatives and announced in a big way that their daughter attained age and is ready for a ‘reproductive living’, they displayed their daughter like a commodity with all their wealth showing off on her body and all lined up to see if she has a healthy body and will fit in their family as a good member to work at home and produce children, develop their ‘progeny’ etc. What a bloody shameful act!...degradation of a gender!...did they ever do to a boy when he attained age? Our culture adored woman’s body and genitals!...what a bloody shame!…does it not make us feel uncomfortable to hear or read these?

They also made a big hype about first night with all the rituals (actually they screwed it up and screwed the happiness of both!). They did not see it as normal. What a bloody ‘shame shame puppy shame’ guys, their rotten beliefs and attitudes to feminine gender!!

They branded a girl as ‘lost virginity or purity or sanctity’ or ‘spoiled’ if she had sex before marriage and considered unfit for marriage with another man or for family life.

But they accepted ‘losing virginity’ at mind level…they did not consider that as ‘spoiled’ and said ‘nothing wrong in it’. They accepted that “everyone gets attracted to someone before marriage. But ‘living together’ after marriage with one man is what matters and she will forget the old affair’. So, they did not mind a girl living and sleeping with another person in mind level while physically being with someone else. For them physical living mattered more. As they were more worried about ‘what others will think’ rather than ‘what that girl is thinking’. They were worried about only wealth not going to someone else and so got their daughters married to close relatives even if it is not scientifically acceptable for the betterment of the offsprings. She was expected to show a ‘smiling face’ in front of others.

This culture also had contradicting beliefs and resultant behaviours. Therefore, it never led to what they actually wanted to happen. For e.g they married a boy to a girl for reproduction, sexual gratification and to feel happiness in child production, rearing etc. But they also introduced rituals and beliefs which isolated the girl from the boy saying ‘today is Monday and no sex’…like this every day had something or the other violating them to get sexual gratification in a combined family. They followed many beliefs and rituals which hindered many of their wants and needs or health and happiness.

So, marriages did not result in sexual gratification of both and they indirectly forced them for extramarital affairs for emotional and sexual gratification or produced ‘stressed bodies and minds’ leading to frustration, anger, fights etc.

So, it is a culture based on:-

1.          Genitals as the back bone of life. Reproductive ability is the basic symbol of manliness and woman hood. Those without this ability were out casted. Genitals are the fulcrum of Entertainment. Marriage involved matching of bodies and not personality traits. In fact ‘personality’ meant only physical appearance. Love is for sex.  Relationships are for sex. Opposite gender attraction or talking is for sex. Everything is for sex. Life is for sex. A girl or woman spoke to another man for only sex.

2.          Wealth is the basis for living. So, entire life was focused about making wealth, by hard work, by taking it from others as dowry, rituals etc. So, all relationships were strong only if the transactions involved gain of wealth. Otherwise even the mother hated the children and children hated their parents. Marriages involved wealth matching. Those with wealth were respected. So, the focus of life was to earn wealth to earn respect, authority and power. They perceived that with wealth one can get anything under the sky including love, relationships, power, authority etc. So, no wonder every one ran from morning to evening chasing the wealth. Politicians and administrators ran behind amassing wealth of hundreds, thousands and lakhs of crores without knowing why they are running mad behind such a huge wealth, what they will do with that, can they enjoy all that wealth, will they get peace and happiness, good health etc with that. For them success also meant amassing wealth. Means was not important. This is our vulturous culture. Forget about what is in the books about our culture and value systems. What matters in our culture is what we follow every day.

3.          They were more worried about ‘what others will think’ rather than ‘what they think’. Before doing anything…or to say…all their behaviours were dependent upon their cognition in mind as to ‘what others will think if I do this or wear this or be like this. Will I get social acceptance, respect, authority, power, be considered a good human being’. So, they landed up doing things for others’ sake (note…not for the sake of ‘happiness’ of others but for ‘jealousy’ of others). They did not do what they liked. They derived happiness when others felt jealousy about them and not by doing what they liked. So, their true wishes never got fulfilled. The purpose for which nature has produced them with innate drives were not achieved.

How can a culture or way of living that is based on SEX and WEALTH can lead to a happy, healthy and successful individuals, homes or a society?...because SEX AND WEALTH CAN NEVER GIVE SATISFACTION AND THEY ARE NEVER ENDING NEEDS AND WANTS. THEY CAN NEVER BRING CONTENTMENT. THE NEED NEVER ENDS. THEY ARE NEEDED FOR LIVING BUT  ARE NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE. Also when people lived disrespecting or disregarding what their mind said about what they should do, wear etc and did the opposite thing not bringing the real satisfaction, how can they experience the real happiness and peace.

So, no wonder they are not peaceful and become parasites of god, temples, god men, mutt etc for peace and happiness. They felt they are not gifted with that knowledge of peace and happiness and only few were gifted with that by god. Is god partial? Never!! They believed that ‘meaning of family life, happiness and peace’ is known to such people (a man who does not live a ‘family life’!) and went to him for counseling on how to live a family life, resolve disputes between people at home etc. Temples became richest with thousands of acres of land, and other wealth, gods had thousands of tones of gold and other wealth, god men have thousands and lakhs of crores, so it is a culture here of being wiser to be an exploiter of beliefs on god, superstitions, fear of unknown (it is our culture here to nurture fear in the minds from childhood…fear and suspicion of all…parents, neighbours, teachers, gods, friends)

They went to temples with a big wish list seeking wealth, marriages, children etc. and not a one liner wish of ‘good health and real happiness and true success’. They believed in god but did not believe that ‘god knows what we want and deserve for our happiness and good health’. As they conceived god to be ‘one with magical powers but with human traits’, they thought ‘god will give only if we ask otherwise not!’ (‘crying baby gets milk’).

No wonder they created god of wealth (laxmi), god of wisdom (saraswathi) (they created god of wisdom to get wealth as that was the product of wisdom in their perception, and not satisfaction, fulfillment of mind, a source of happiness and peace) etc but never created ‘god of happiness’, ‘god of good health’ and ‘god of peace’ as they felt they will get happiness, good health and peace through sex, wealth and family life based on these.

Can anyone feel happiness, peace and good physical, mental and social health if they don’t do what their mind says or needs after a rational, logical and reasonable thinking?...will they be happy physically and mentally if they do something which they feel as ‘this is what others are feeling so as the right behaviour!’.

No wonder our middle aged woman are like ‘psychos’!...as they always land up doing things which their body and mind oppose!

So, an individual or society or a culture which is based on sex, wealth and ‘what others think’ can never be happy, physically, mentally and socially healthy and successful. They can never feel self actualized in true sense. They can only reach the third or fourth level of Maslow’s need hierarchies. But even here there will be some blanks, ifs and buts. The happiness and success can never be complete. They cannot fully and properly attain even second and third levels.

In an industrial society the focus is not on ‘genitals’ but on ‘knowledge’.

In an agrarian society ‘I love you!’ means

-I want to live with you

-I want to make a family with you

In an industrial society it means

-I like you, you give happiness to me, you are a fun…it does not mean ‘I want to live with you, I want to make a family with you’ etc.

An industrial society culture is not about ‘following abroad culture’, not about ‘sleeping with anyone and everyone’ or wearing all revealing dresses…here ‘sex’, ‘wealth’, ‘what others will think’ etc are not the issues at all…it is about…

-acquiring knowledge about life, love, sex, living, science, arts, commerce, law or anything that falls under the ambit of ‘knowledge’ in a structural manner with formal education. Acquiring value systems of ‘adaptive living’, empathy, resilience,  with all types of castes, religions and cultures…and not growing as a ‘good boy’ with rigid, inadaptable personality traits.

-here education is a life long journey unlike in an agrarian society where education is just to get a job…so, they limit with just one qualification and remain with the same job. For them being at one place of posting is more important than going up in career ladder. They go for job just to earn their living and not for happiness and satisfaction. Their happiness is centered in family life. If a husband or wife is away from family they criticized as ‘what sort of family life they are living!’

-in agrarian culture the matching between the boy and girl for marriage is only matching of the bodies than matching of minds…it was more about matching of families and exchange of wealth. In industrial culture it is more about ‘intellectual and emotional companionship’ rather than matching of age, wealth, bodies, languages, cultures, families, ability to reproduce, sexual gratification etc.

 

-industrial culture is centered around ‘deriving happiness and satisfaction at work-being involved with brain in work-being creative-professional achievements-being a part of people and organization as a team’…this is the one which actually follows ‘work is worship’ and not the agrarian society as it is thought!

- here exercise and yoga asanas are a routine of life like brushing, bathing etc. because they believe that ‘sound mind rests in a sound body’ and their work demands a sound mind. Whereas in an agrarian society only those who did farming did manual work. Those who worked in offices had less physical work and landed up with ‘life style’ diseases. They exercised only to reduce their obesity or when doctors warned them of death otherwise.

- in an industrial society meditation is a must, as their job demands a sound mind, high Emotional and Spiritual quotients. In an agrarian society ‘meditation is believed to be performed only by rishis and sanyasis who lived in jungles and mountains and not by those who lived family life’

- it follows ‘there are many things in life to know, to learn, to experience, to pursue, to think about….than SEX’. Here sex does not matter. It has no priority or significance or relevance. It has the least priority. It is about long standing relationship based on other resources of an individual.

- here it is all about ‘friendship’ where ‘love based on personality traits’ dominates unlike in an agrarian society where ‘friendship’ is not defined between a couple, but societal roles with responsibilities like ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ dominates, making them to be more responsible to their duties as husband and wife, to be committed to the relationship at social level, with possessiveness and expectations limited to only social and personal security needs (here mind level commitment is not thought about as they are more worried about ‘what others will think’ than ‘what they think’)…so, friendship rarely exists where the love has matured from body level to personality traits level…

-it is about accepting the girls also like boys, giving them the freedom, sharing all the house chores, without thinking that ‘I am head of family and you are no one!’, giving them the decision making powers, accepting people as they are, with empathy, with least expectations, without any possessiveness, without limiting the aspirations of the girls, helping them to grow in their career, pursue their passion and self actualize, without demanding anything from them, without controlling them etc.

-  here acquiring skills is a life long journey…here ‘eye is meant to read, learn, enjoy nature, see all those which give happiness and good health. Ears is to hear those which the above mentioned. Similarly other sense organs are also for happiness and good health’

-here it is about perceiving only positives of people and not their negatives. So, there is no room for jealousy, revenge and other negative behaviours. So, it has more potential for helping others, for forming stronger, better and happy long standing friendships.

-here it is about ‘winning as a team’ and so there is compassion and concern for others and their wellbeing, no selfishness…unlike in an agrarian society where success is by individuals…so, selfishness is prevalent.

-as their philosophy is ‘acquiring skills and knowledge is a life long journey’ they land up in making more wealth than people of agrarian society who ran behind wealth with anxiety, jealousy, revenge etc landing up with making only less wealth.

-they do what their mind says out of their value systems, logical, reasonable, sensible and social thinking. They did what their consciousness said. So, they are happy and healthy. Whereas agrarian society is not based on happiness, peace and good health ‘in real sense’.

-they follow a policy of ‘being in the moment’. So, they are able to perform better without anxiety and self pity. But in an agrarian society people were all the time thinking about failures of the past and fears of unknown future making them to feel scared, anxiety struck, could not focus on the job they were doing at that moment and so landed up with stress of body and mind, could not do well, faced failures etc.

- here ‘child rearing’ is all about ‘teaching them all house chores, making them meet all their needs by their own selves, keeping things neat and tidy at home, teaching not ‘what is good and bad’ but teaching what is good for ‘good health, peace and happiness’, teaching them how to take decisions in day to life events and situations, teaching various life skills, arts (singing, dancing, playing instruments, painting, etc) teaching them what is love and infatuation, teaching them about sex, body changes and related risks and problems, teaching them about relationships and meaning of friendship so that they are groomed to be ‘adaptable’ and knowing how to be happy, peaceful, healthy and successful. They are exposed to problems of poverty, social service, teaching the poor, helping patients in hospitals etc so that they become real human beings with high IQ, EQ and SQ.

-they are more sociable, flexible in social situations and life in general and whereas people of agrarian society were rigid, more rules and regulations bound, more ritual, always ‘responsibility’ struck with anxiety and fear,  belief and superstition based which actually stressed them and made their life miserable, not sociable and not adaptable / sociable.  In industrial culture, ‘being responsible’ is all about ‘just doing the things required’ in an envelope covered by happiness surrounded by music etc, rather than being anxiety struck.

So, agrarian society is all about rigidity, sex discrimination, disrespecting feminity in true sense, rules and regulations, not health, happiness and peace based, ‘sex and wealth’ focused, not career bothered, child rearing is based on scaring, controlling, beating, ‘spoon feeding’ making the children totally dependent on parents including decision making, ‘what others will think’ bothered, ‘all house chores by girls’ philosophy, man is the head of the family and takes all decisions, etc

 

Industrial society living is all about no sex discrimination, equal status for women everywhere to choose their education, career, passion, profession, entertainment, rest, ‘sex and wealth’ are not the back bone of life, rearing the children to be more flexible, adaptable, enjoy happiness, peaceful and success, being in the moment, accepting people as they are, seeing only positives in people, living with more EQ and SQ, self actualization, ‘knowledge’ based, ‘learning and skill development’ are life long processes, to keep those things munched in mouth and mind to be healthy and peaceful, yoga asanas and meditation are part of life, cooking and eating healthy food in healthy way, being more attached to nature, enjoying what they do etc

At a personal level this new culture revolves around ‘acquiring knowledge, learning, good physical, mental and social health, being successful and self actualizing’. At social level it is about ‘accepting every one as they are, all genders equal, no demands, no controls, no expectations’

So, this culture is not centered on sex or wealth or ‘what others think’.

Nothing is permanent here, including the culture. It is a continuously changing one. Technological developments decide the dynamics of culture and not you and me…not inside the homes…e.g mobiles

Anyone who is not using the positives of these will get out casted. Let us not weld our skulls, let us open them and allow all the good things to go there.

 

Happy onam greetings to all of you!

 

bye

 

rams

Girls, are they just bodies?

hai guys and gals...how are we?

this is the continuation of the previous mail...i.e a chat with some college students...

i might have used some words which might sound odd in your ears, might make you feel shy etc...but issues are to be spoken with the right words...so i have used them, as, all who read this are adults with maturity!

the crux of the last mail is

1. our culture has too many holes

2. our culture conceives a girl as a 'servant' and 'for fun'...it looks at only the body and it's needs...what it can give to others!...it does not look at her 'mind and its needs', 'feelings', 'emotions', 'aspirations' etc. She is expected to fit in herself within the shoes of the society!

3. we blame 'foreign culture' without knowing completely what it is. Considering 'foreign culture' as just 'sleeping with every one'. A girl with revealing dress can walk in the US streets safely, but in india a girl with all closed dress can not walk safely in the night showing the great culture we have inherited!

now we go...

films...make a great impact...all songs are only descriptions of the 'body' as to how beautiful it is...is there any song that adores or describes her intellect or skills or knowledge or her feelings or emotions considering her as 'whole human being'?

all films also portray the 'infatuated love period' of life...i.e teens and early years of marriage...which occurs due to 'attraction of the bodies'...is there any film which portrays a 'matured love period' of life that occurs at later years (after the body attraction is over...i.e after about 5 years) with 'attraction due to personality traits'? (other than 'muthal mariyaathai' movie)

all serials describe them as only 'pillars which take the 'burden''...people to cry...people with animal like attitudes of revenge, anger, frustration, self pity etc...we have heard many saying 'My son is all bads. I am planning to marry him off so that the girl will come and change!!!'

every one wants only to 'use' her...trying to give a little cozy feeling of 'everything alright and all for you only' so that she survives to be used...

so, what does our culture portray of a girl????...

In India most of the college students and even adults run behind girls ("approaches") spending many hours, days, money, energy etc for what?...simply for one or few screws!...they only look at the body!...they don't look at her as whole human being similar to any other man...with a brain...with a mind...with a soul...with skills...with knowledge...with ability to have higher emotional intelligence...with aspirations...with feelings...they don't feel that nature has produced them also equally with others...

how many run behind girls for a 'life long friendship'?...because we know only one resource from a girl!...we don't know that she can give much more happiness, good health and success for a 'life time' as a 'good friend' than  one or few screws!...as we are used to killing the chicken and eating rather than playing and enjoying with it keeping it alive...we see chickens only as 'tasty food' rather than 'a good friend' who can give immense happiness watching it eating, hatching, feeding its babies, playing with us...as our culture is to 'use and destroy' the nature and not 'enjoy' the nature 'for ever'....does our culture see this aspect of her as a good friend?...do we see girls as 'good friends for life time'?...does our culture allow her to be a good friend to others?...to men also?...does it allow all women to take decisions on their own regarding their studies, friends, marriages, freedom to go out, meet people, pursue her hobbies (first of all can she have hobbies too!!!), take challenges in society or organisations, pursue professions outside the city, state, country, pursue her passion...is there any girl in india who has not been objected for these at some stage or the other in her life?...how many have been allowed not to take 'compromises and sacrifices' in the above...

so, our culture teaches us to see a woman as a 'human body' and not as a 'human being'!

Now you tell me, is our culture good?...culture is not about arts and sculptures of kings...it is not about what we think...it is about what we do and how we live now, out attitudes, beliefs etc.

during the process of evolution, when the 'food gatherer' became a 'food producer'...a nomad to a civilized...when the unwritten division of labour was made, we created this damn bad culture of treating women as only bodies.

Anyway, gone is the agrarian society...here is the industrial society...where if you can't treat a girl with her mind, you can choose to live alone!!!...if you can't accept her as a 'friend', and think she is only a 'wife' (you now know the expansion!!) then you are unfit for a married life!...If you think she is for kitchen, toilet and bed including a 'bread winner', then you should have lived only 30 years back and not now!!...you can never be happy, healthy, peaceful and successful on this earth, if you can not accept all girls, including your 'life mate' (watch it...i have not used 'wife'...the rotten and wrongly understood word!!), as 'friends'!

Parents, better wake up, or be ready to see your son or daughter a wounded divorcee!...many parents still live in their own wells thinking it is still agrarian society outside...thinking that culture is defined inside their houses!...what a bloody pity!...don't blame the youngsters for their messy life, blame that damn culture you have created!!!

Hope i have nailed it on your forehead!!!

Jai Hind!

hihihi....keep rocking too!

bye...

rams

We and our acid soaked brains!

hai all...how are we?

...i recently had an oppurtunity to chat with a group of college students...the questions asked and answers are here...more will follow...

1. Why you feel our culture is bad?

There are many good things in our culture like yoga, meditation, sattviga (boiled veg) food etc which we don't follow. There are many bad things in our culture that we follow and emotionally attached with. No wonder we have 'life style' diseases indicating that our life style (i.e culture) is wrong. We are, and our culture is, a perfect example of 'if we don't regulate what we munch in our mouth and mind, we will never be happy, healthy and successful'!

2. Can you give one example of our bad culture?

I don't have any hesitation in putting my chest up and chin up and say, we have created a sweet 'f' all culture!!...and our problems are not in economy, falling of rupee value or any other issue...it is in not according its due respect and freedom for the other gender and not knowing the value of 'human resource', no wonder, the second largest country with human resource is limping!!!...and depending upon money and material with which we can only achieve limited!

I read at least 03 to 05 reported rape or sexual abuse cases every day in Tamil Nadu. India has so many states. You can imagine the total number. We rape 5 month old infant girls. We rape even 80 year old grand mothers. We rape girls who wear even decent dresses. The truth is we sexually abuse anything that appears like a girl!!...What all these reveal?...problem with one individual?...imbalanced secretion  hormones?.. less production of neuropeptides (a neurotransmitter in brain)?...stress caused by the energy blockages in the frontal lobe of the brain?...we through acid and kill girls...we kill infant girls just being born as a girl...we kill girls in the embryo...we kill girls with life sentence in kitchens, bathrooms, toilets and sinks...we kill girls physically, mentally, socially...it is born in our culture to screw them in all possible ways, ill-treat, sexually abuse and kill girls...Is there any parent who feels safe about his / her daughter. Can a girl walk alone in the night or day...we need some one to accompany her at all places in india...parents some how want to marry her off so that safety and security of the girl gets transferred to another person and they feel relieved...those who want to go for jobs, outstation appointments, abroad studies are forced to get married before they leave...all foreign visitors have at least one bad experience of 'sexual vulgarity' of indian men...all these show that we have culturally poisoned mind towards girls...our culture of saying that girls are meant to be at home, cook, clean, wash, produce children, rear them shows how primitive organisms we are!...basically for 'pleasure'...a servant...no freedom of expression...no freedom to choose her eduction, life, life mate, career...a prisoner inside the house...a vulnerable target outside the house...she is meant for 'compromises and sacrifices'...i had once published a long list of what all a girl does at home, caste groups, society, office etc...(Dr purandran sir, could you trace it out in the 'Ocean' in my blog?...see, even i need that now to paste it here!)...the most physically, mentally, emotionally, legally and socially tortured organism on earth!...THE INDIAN GIRL!...and the worst cruel animal on earth...THE INDIAN MAN!...as it knows how to kill an organism while keeping it alive!

some man expanded the word WIFE as Wonderful Instrument for Fun (using a soft equivalent word for the real one) and Entertainment. So, we have not seen an Indian girl more than flesh.

We criticize Americans and other foreigners thinking that 'they sleep with every one and they wearing revealing dresses is a wrong culture'...we can't think anything beyond 'sex' when we talk about culture. We have such a 'f' all culture of thinking about cultures. A girl wearing revealing dress in US is not looked at differently or sexually abused. But a girl with all closed dress gets sexually abused here. What does it indicate?...does it not speak about the culture of the land?...Is 'wearing a revealing dress' a wrong culture or 'sexually abusing a decently dressed girl' a wrong culture????...we need to think. We have created a 'f' all culture where our wife, sisters, children and grandchildren are not safe! we are the bloody culprits!

ok guys and gals...more questions and answers later...see you...bye..

keep rocking!

rams