How mothers spoil the life of theirs and their children?

Hai all...many girls get married...but when they don't click well with the husband they get attached to their children...children become their life!!...they derive all their emotional needs from them. Later when they become adolescent and need love and affection from people of their age and opposite gender also, then they spend more time on real and virtual relationships...the possessive mother does not get her needs fulfilled...this frustration is shown by her in various types of behaviours...then fight starts...the mother becomes parasite of the children and her entire life becomes dependent on children...she plans the marriage, her further life etc consciously or subconsciously weaved with the children...this affects the married life of children and also the mother...many mothers with teenagers suffer due to this....the children also bang their heads....so, mothers, beware!!!...girls and boys, check out if your mother is attached toooo much affecting your life...if yes, take them to a counselor, or else your life is doomed!!

rams

What will happen to socialisation of human being and social systems like family, marriage

Hai all...what will happen to social systems of marriage, family etc?...what will happen to human socialization?...may be it will be like this...

Earlier it was agrarian society which was family, family relationships, relatives centric...
Now it is industrial society which is self, friends, advancement in career, achievements, wealth centric, profession centric where maximum time is spent at office physically and even 'office at home' mentally....

This will give more stress...

Stress will decrease the physical needs...

This will result in late marriages or marriages on compulsion or for name sake or no marriages....achievement motive will over rule this need...

Many will live single...and derive emotional needs satisfied from office friendships, virtual relationships, live-in relationships, pet animals, nature (e.g gardening), art forms, simulated relationships (e.g with robots, softwares, apps that simulate human emotions/equivalents)...

Population rise (rate) will reduce...

Marriages and families will reduce...old type of relatives will reduce...

More researches in robots and software simulations to bring in videos or people who can replace human beings in relationships and emotions...

More people will live in fantasies and imaginary relationships...

What next?????.....let us wait and watch....

rams-psychologist

what is religion and what is spirituality?

Hai all....lot is spoken about RELIGION and SPIRITUALITY...every one has his own opinion...i also have my own...

Generally religion and spirituality are defined based on God and beliefs based on god ('God Centric').
I think they should be based on Human beings ('Human Centric').

God centric definition leads to fear, low self confidence, parasitic dependence on god, obsession, division of human beings, emotional attachment to god leading to fights between different sects/religions etc.
Human centric definition removes all these negatives and leads to happiness, peace, good physical-mental-social health and self actualisation.

The center of any definition related to HUMAN BEINGS should be PHYSICAL-MENTAL-SOCIAL well-being of ALL human beings.

so, my definitions are as follows...

Religion - A way of life. This will define the way we live. The activities, beliefs, rituals, hobbies, way we relate to others and social systems around, dress, food, all mind related issues etc. This will be different for different people living at different places in the world with some commonalities. Any religion which is based on 'love and care for ALL human beings' only will survive and prosper naturally.

Spirituality - Any physical act or mental act, place, person, item, life event, social situation, belief that gives life long physical-mental-social health to that individual. So, this also will differ from person to person with some commonalities. Being in the present, enjoying what we do, accepting people and realities as they are, having a physical and mental exercise regime is Spiritual living.

Spiritually yours
rams

How to know if we are in love with some one or not?

Hai all...specially the teen ages....How to know if we are in love or not?...Many mess up their lives without knowing this and come for counseling...

When you feel you have fallen in love with some one ask the question to yourself 'OK, what do you want from that person?'...if the immediate spontaneous answer that appears in the mind is physical intimacy and reproductive needs then you are not in love. You have just an animal instinct. It is better to leave that person.

But if the answer that appears is 'I want that person to be happy, healthy, peaceful, successful, enjoy freedom and feel liberated to skies and above, grow in all dimensions in life viz knowledge, skills, wisdom, wealth, fame, authority etc'...I want to contribute to that person in this endeavor throughout my life!' then you are in love with that person.

peacefully yours
rams

need for a course and training for adolescents on 'love' and 'relationships'

Hai all...

The adolescent age is in search for the mate without their knowledge as the body has matured. It is an age of adventure, forming new relationships and falling in love.

As the social networks have flourished on internet the opportunities for forming new relationships across the continents, cultures, religions and castes is easy.

The issue in front is neither the middle aged or old aged people of the past have undergone a proper course on 'love' and 'relationships'. They only have the experience which is a limited knowledge. They are able to only scare or control or threaten the adolescents which is not having the desired effect.

The adolescents feel freedom on net in forming relationships wildly and widely without knowing the consequences. They don't know the various stages or phases of love, relationship forming and the effects of these on mind, body, daily chores, work, the significant people etc.

It is like jumping inside a whirling lake without knowing the currents inside.

They feel that they are the masters in assessing and evaluating people without knowing the subconscious drives which make people behave in a particular way for satiation of the needs.

Human beings being social animals can not live in isolation. The love which involves physical relationships has been the biggest brain killer for people of all ages.

The adolescents freely share pics of their body and their body itself with the people in relationships and land up in obsession disorders, possessiveness, multiple sexual relationships etc and realize after a while that their brain has got damaged so badly that they need prolonged treatment and counseling.

Reproductive need is  a basic id need which is subconscious and makes a person to say anything and do anything to gratify the need without bothering about legal and social implications.

1. Has anyone got satisfied with one hug or one kiss or sex once with their mates?...yes, it is addictive.

2. Physical relationship brings in too much of attachment, possessiveness, feeling of love which collapses a person in case the relationship breaks for any reason.

3. People of distant places fall in love madly, unable to meet and keep crying as the gratification of the need is met.

So, 'love' and 'relationships' are though basic needs, but dangerous too if they do not work out well.

Knowing the dynamics, phases, effects of these will at least make us aware what is happening while falling in love or being in a relationship so that we can take precautions to avoid the damage to our brain, life, career, living and other significant relationships we have at home, relatives and society.

keep rocking

rams

Some questions to god about 'LOVE'?

Hai all...most of the problems that come to me for resolving are related to 'LOVE'...so here are some questions that came to my mind...QUESTIONS TO GOD...(laughs)...

Hey god...NATURE god...please think properly, if you have brain, and answer my questions below...
Love....why did you give this feeling to human beings?....

if you say you have given this for only procreation (i.e reproduction...so that life continues on earth) like you have given for other animals then human beings should experience only those types of loves which animals also experience (love between parents and children till the children become adults and independent and love feeling that brings sexual attraction between opposite sexes...these are the two types of loves animals experience for reproduction and grooming off springs)...why human beings experience more than these two types of loves?...(siblings, friends, relatives, love experiences beyond reproduction and grooming needs, love without expectations, love beyond death, loving all living and non living...woff, the list is endless!!!)
If your aim is only procreation then you should have only given the animal type of love feeling to human beings...i.e loving anyone and every one for procreation...why you did not give like that?...human beings are not able to love every one for procreation!!...many are able to experience this type of love with just only one person in life time, or only one person at a time, or may be just two and certainly not in an unlimited manner the way animals do (without any physical and mental health problems). They are not attracted to all people of opposite sex that way. It is not just the physical appearance or age...it depends on how they feel about the other person in their mind.

By giving the SIXTH SENSE you have created the 'SEX'TH SENSE too and made every one's life miserable!!

1. one person loves but the other person does not experience SAME TYPE of love and SAME EXTENT of love all the time in the life cycle of both concerned. Even if the love does not have the component of sex both suffer or one suffers.

2. one person loves but the other person does not love. Here one person suffers. Other person also might suffer if the love of other person affects this person.

3. human beings experience obsessive and addictive loves too.

Effectively, for a defined number of human beings on earth, there are 'n' number of loves!!!...this has messed up the lives of human beings!

Above all this you have given POSSESSIVENESS too which is contradictory to your aim of variance between two different human beings.

Tell me, why did you create all this messssss?

You could have created human beings also like animals. Why are you creating and killing them while being alive?

Tell me, how many more variations (problems) you are going to introduce in your 'evolution experiment' and screw up the lives of all of us here?

Enough is enough boss!!!...you only created all this mess and now, you only solve the problems too!
Now tell me how are you going to solve this problem??

how are you going to make one person to fall in love with another (only one) who also loves with same type and same extent for life long?

i think this will solve the problem to an extent!


But how are you going to do this????

(don't talk all the bulls to me saying 'how family will form, how societies will form, how cultures will form etc, OK!!!...solve this fundamental problem which is making every one 'mental' health patients here...after that let us go to the next level of families, societies, cultures etc!)

rams

What matters the most...'Mind of the lover girl' or 'the words of the lover boy'?

Hai all....What matters the most...'MIND of the lover girl'? or the 'WORDS of the lover boy'?

when two people love each other mostly the boy has all the words of praise for the girl...but does she respond positively for all his praises all the time? 

if we observe anything, it becomes Beautiful or Correct or Pleasant or Acceptable (BCPA) ONLY IF OUR MIND MATCHES WITH IT IN FEELINGS, MOODS, EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS  (FMET). So, mind is the first and foremost. If it is not in the matching FMET then the BCPA is not realised. Also the mind has to be Happy, Peaceful, Silent, at Rest and Vacant (HPSRV). Only then it can perceive BCPA.Otherwise not!!

Therefore, mind is the first and foremost and has to be happy, peaceful, silent, at rest and vacant with matching feelings, moods, emotions and thoughts. Only then the beauty or correctness or pleasantness or acceptability of a person or any thing can be perceived by the mind.

Therefore the realisation of beauty or correctness or acceptability of a person or a thing is not in that person or the thing...it is only in mind of the person observing it!!!

for e.g read these romantic phrases which are generally used by any one who is in love....and then read the analysis at the bottom...

'I love you daa!' 'I miss you a lot maa!' 'I miss your hugs and kisses'

'hmmm...i want to see you!'  'I feel like i want to hear your melodious sweet voice!'  'You are very beautiful!'  'You are a sweet personality!'  'A feeling of happiness and peace flows in me when i think about you!'  'You are the ultimate beauty for me!'  'You are the best gift of god to me!' 'I don't need any one or anything in my life other than you!' 'I like both your beauty and personality!' 'Your eyes are too beautiful and expressive!' 'You are the most charming beauty under the sky!' 'Your cheeks are like apples!' 'Your lips are too tasty like 'honey-oranges'!'  'you have a great figure!' 'The road sign boards like 'Dangerous Curves ahead, Go slow!' 'Don't speed up at curves!' etc make sense only when i am with you!' 'You have cute and beautiful hips!' 'You have beautiful butts!' 'Your voice is great!' 'Your dance performance is fabulous!' 'You have a great sense of humour!'''

of course one can go on typing endlessly like this because lovers have not left anything to describe their lovers...

now, all these beautiful phrases make a meaning, bring in happiness and smiles on the face of the girl and make her respond positively only if her mind is peaceful, happy, silent, at rest, empty and she is in matching good moods, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Otherwise all these words

1. have no meaning

2. will bring only anger and hate in the mind of the girl.

Therefore the words of the boy are not important and beautiful...it is the mind of the girl that matters to perceive the beauty of his words. feelings, emotions and thoughts!!!

Otherwise it is all waste!!!!!

so, take care in life!!

Keep rocking! 

rams