Dear all.... ONE QUESTION...ONE ANSWER...
Peacefully yours... Rams.... Psychologist!!
Monday, 25 March 2019
What is Life?😉
🤔Actually Who are you!? Sir 🙄
Dear all... ONE QUESTION...ONE ANSWER...
Peacefully yours... Rams... Psychologist!!
Sunday, 24 February 2019
THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO HAVE FIRES IN RELATIONSHIPS...HOTT RELATIONSHIPS.
Dear all... THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO HAVE FIRES IN RELATIONSHIPS...HOTT RELATIONSHIPS....
Every one wants to be the Spice in the others' lives and not the Curd Rice!!
But this is possible only for a particular period of time and not forever, provided, there is always something unknown left and there is always scope to know that unknown!!
Peacefully yours... rams... Psychologist!!
Sunday, 10 February 2019
THIS IS FOR ALL ENGINEERING STUDENTS AND THEIR PARENTS...
Dear all... THIS IS FOR ALL ENGINEERING STUDENTS AND THEIR PARENTS...
1. It is a professional course. So, just getting a degree or with arrears etc will not suffice. One has to learn the subjects and profession thoroughly without wasting time in the college. Acquiring 'Employability' with necessary 'skill sets' required for the industry is important.
2. Job market is big. But not many good employale engineer students are available. Those who are good always get jobs.
3. One should be ready to relocate any where in the country and world because it is a global profession.
4. One need not be intelligent but everyone can be hard working. So, no excuses and blame games. Most of the engineering jobs can be done with COMMON SENSE and general engineering skills. Most of the engineering emergencies can be handled with PRESENCE OF MIND.
5. Learning engineering is not a 100 mtres dash but a life long marathon. So, one who continuously works hard to learn and dedicate to this profession is sure to succeed and need not take up sweeper jobs!!
6. English is the Language of Engineering Profession. So, obsessions to regional languages and refusal to learn English will lead to such jobless situation only.
So, nothing wrong in choosing engineering studies if we are ready to shape ourselves and get ready for the life style of the profession!!!
Peacefully yours.... Rams.... Psychologist!!
WHO ARE FIT FOR TRADITIONAL AND CONVENTIIONAL KIND OF MATCH MAKING AND WHO ARE NOT FIT FOR THAT?
Dear all... THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS...
The old concept of match making... i . e
the aged people at home and close relatives and marriage agents deciding
everything... based on religion, caste, wealth and status match, who will be the
slave and who will be master in the relationship, declared or undeclared
business deals etc ... feeling that 'match making is the responsibility of
parents' etc is ok for girls and boys who are.....
1. weak in education....
2. weak in physical or mental or
social well-being...only physically grown and gynaec matured…but no adult and
life skills…..lazy, dull, no motivation in life, no dreams, no goals, no
interests or special liking, no creativity, no sense of direction, no
individuality, no decision making skills, no strong beliefs or convictions
about how to live, how to shape the life, how his or her family and children
should be, no drive to be an achiever, no drive to have an image or identity,
no opinion on any issue, no interest to have role models, not interested in
skill and knowledge development and the person is just a clay that it can be
shaped in any way by others, or a sand that can't be shaped by any methods and means....the
person probably is a walking coffin or yet another living organism...
3. not interested in taking up any
job.... can not find a job… has no employability skills in any private or govt
organisations ….
4. not interested in relocating to a
new place working or living, not able to live separated from parents, scared of
living without the relationships amidst which the person has grown-up...
5. low in intelligence....
6.. having less oppurtunity and scope
for education, knowledge and skill development, due to the place of living,
economical condition
7. having health and personality
development issues, disorders of the body and mind.... e. g depressed, low self
esteem, phobias and manias...
8. the person is a parasite that he
or she cannot earn or make his or her own living of food, clothing and shelter,
cannot hire or make the own place of living i.e house, can not take care of his
or her own basic needs, totally dependent on others for survival, existence and
living. The person is ready to do anything and at any cost to get these from
any one. The person is ready to live with anyone who is unknown earlier.
9. the person is tooo scared about
life, the person toally believes the parents and they will do only good (their
intentions may be good, but they don’t know what is good and how to do the good … as
they themselves live a life of insecurities!!)
Only such people are fit for traditional
or conventional type of match making… because the girls and boys of the past
were like this!!... no education, no skills for living, totally dependent upon
the parents, relatives and society for their survival!!... So, such a wealth and
money based marriage match making worked out or there was no other option
left!!
But, Today there are many who have
lots of oppurtunities for education, skills and intelligence development... they
are too good that they can't be traditional housewives or maids or home
makers ... many have....
1. high intelligence
2. outstanding corporate skill sets
3. global dreams
4. big goals
5. want to be achievers and want to get
etched in the history
6. out of the world creatvity
7. passion to do something different
8. high self esteem, self confidence
etc.
9. ability to create their own
wealth, money, status, fame and other assets... in fact much much more than what
their parents have created or what the parents are intending to get through the
business deals in the marriage.
10. want the feeling of acceptance,
contentment, fulfillment through best display of their knowledge, skills,
personality traits, talents etc.
11. a large appetite for learning in
multiple disciplines
12. multitasking abilities
13. research interests
14. global reach in their talents
15. Individuality, decision making
skills, ability to lose themselves in their pursuits, self-opinions on every
issue, strong will-power , highly rigid personalities, less adaptabilities and
not ready for compromises and sacrifices
16. high leadership, administrative
and managerial skills
17. urge to win in life... make a life
and living better, richer, wealthier , with more fame or with more wisdom than
that of their parents or relatives or ancestors... urge to do different things
than their parents
18. high risk taking ability
19. daring and fearless attitude
20. ability to form strong social
neworks for constructive purposes, self growth, growth of the community and
organisation .
21. ability to bring in
transformation in organisations , economy and society
22. 'organisational people' or
'people for the societies' rather than 'people for just one person or one
family'.
23. girls and boys with more
interests in public life... unconventional careers for girls... (e.g media,
politics, journalism etc )
24. girls and boys demanding equality
in oppurtunites
25. a strong drive for adventure sports
and interest in taking up career or professions related to this.
26. drive to join armed forces as
officers
27. Girls who are globe trotters in
their profession
28. Girls who have high ego and man
like personality attributes
29. Girls who can not share their
body, mind, privacies and life with strangers or less known people so easily.
30. Girls who do not have any sexual
urges or for whom it is not a priority or who can manage the life without it
easily without any stress.
31. Girls who do not need a ‘traditional
husband’ but just need a ‘committed friend or companion for life time with whom
she can share her privacies’
32. girls and boys who have selected
education and career which are not suitable for a traditional and conventional
family life
All those who have above
characteristics are different from a conventional and traditional individual
and therefore, the ‘ancient’ method of match making will not work out.
So, lots of transformation has taken
place in the world around...
Therefore, conventional or
traditional methods of match making described above will not work out or result
in a successful marriage for these people. Just matching the educational
qualifications or professions or career also will not suffice.
Also, students who want their parents
to leave the marriage issue to their way have to prove convincingly to their
parents that they are of above variety by measurable performance and potential
outcomes.. the parents should feel strongly that 'This person is a different
variety and we need to give this person the time and space!'…. Else the parents
will do only traditional match making!!
In today's world a marriage for the
kind of girls or boys described above probably can be successful only if...
1. Both boy and girl should live together within the same four walls at
least for two years immediately after marriage to adapt, to develop a relationship
of unconditional love for each other, to understand each other better.
2.
Ideally the place of work and living
for both should be same, or at least, as close as possible.
3.
The behaviour of the girl and boy as
LOVERS and as HUSBAND AND WIFE will be different… because the status and roles
of a lover is different from that of husband or wife.
4. Both should know each other very well, especially the individual needs,
wants, expectations from each other as a husband and wife, aspirations and definitions of life, family,
marriage, relationships, much before marriage for many years and should have
decided for the marriage first, before the parents.
1. Parents think they are knowledgeable, experienced and have more years of
living on earth than their kids… they know everything about marriage, family,
relationships etc …. but the truth is they don’t know how to live in peace,
health and happiness…. they think they know their kids in-and-out…. and they can
guide their children the best, but truly not, as they are not professionals in
the same!!
2.
The marriage agents and relatives are
the biggest spoilers of the lives of the above mentioned children in the
society!
3.
Parents need to understand that their
children are more important to them to be happy, peaceful and healthy and not
their relatives and marriage agents. With their children unhappy and not peaceful,
the parents can not live their life in peace for entire life, and under such
conditions no relative or marriage agent will be ready to solve the problems,
and blaming the children for failures is wrong.
4.
Parents might have paid for the
education or made several sacrifices and out of fear and insecurities, might
insist or force the children of above kind for traditional match making but the
children need to have a strong back bone to expose the parents to who they are,
the demands of their profession and their kind of life, educate them and change
them on their own or with the help of the counsellors / professionals.
Peacefully yours… Rams… Psychologist!!
Monday, 28 January 2019
two most important things in life....
Dear all... This is for all....
What's the most important and vital skill one should have? ...
Without these two all other qualifications are useless!!...
A big waste!!...
One who does not know these two can be termed as 'not having practical intelligence required to live in this world!!....
Now we know what we have, what we lack and what should we do now!!!
Peacefully yours... Rams.... Psychologist!!
Thursday, 17 January 2019
THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY THE MARRIED PEOPLE...
Dear all.... THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY THE MARRIED PEOPLE...
Our culture has sadly inculcated certain things like...
1. Man is the Head of the Family. He has the complete command and control of all decisions and entire functioning of the family.
2. Husband is superior to his wife irrespective of the difference in intelligence, decision making skills, administrative and managerial skills, social adaptability and intelligence etc.
So, even if the husband was an incapable guy, comparatively, then also he was holding the authority and power.
The present older and middle age generation belongs to this. I only hope that the younger generation men do not have this EGO OF 'i ', 'ME' 'MY'.
Basically home is a social organisation where winning is a team work, and not individual performance. When the husband wants to win as an individual in front of his wife or others, then the family is likely to lose in the 'one brain and many bodies' decision making and working or living environment. When every one, irrespective of age and gender, sit together, discuss (not egoistically argue!), and come to a consense keeping 'family' or winning as the team in the forefront, then home becomes heaven, relationships strengthen, every one become peaceful, happy and healthy, synergy is achieved, everyone becomes a winner, every one experiences the best love from the other, and The Family - the fundamental structure of any social system or country becomes strong, ideal, a role-model family etc.
So, the crux is...
1. Let us unlearn the old conventional, traditional and egoistic cultural mind set that Man is the Head of the Family, learn to accept everyone as a potential Human Resource, respect their life experiences, education, etc , (as no one's experience is inferior to the other!).
2. Let us look at winning as a team at the home front too, like in any organisation or department.
3. Peace, happiness and health of everyone in the family is equally important to ensure all these as a family and to live as a family, otherwise the man will get isolated, depressed and feel cheated by his wife and children, at least when he retires or when he becomes aged, physically weak, helpless and needs the support of others in the family. At that time no point in sobbing 'I did soo much, i worked like a donkey my entire life for these people only, for my family only, but they look at me as a butcher, animal, threat and a terrorist!'
Peacefully yours... Rams... Psychologist!!
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