THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY THE MARRIED PEOPLE...

Dear all....THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY THE MARRIED PEOPLE...

Our culture has sadly inculcated certain things like...

1. Man is the Head of the Family. He has the complete command and control of all decisions and entire functioning of the family.

2. Husband is superior to his wife irrespective of the difference in intelligence, decision making skills, administrative and managerial skills, social adaptability and intelligence etc.

So, even if the husband was an incapable guy, comparatively, then also he was holding the authority and power.

The present older and middle age generation belongs to this. I only hope that the younger generation men do not have this EGO OF 'i', 'ME' 'MY'.

Sadly this is prevalent even in husbands who are highly educated and are leaders and managers at the senior management level in organisations where they emphasize team work, team winning etc. But when it comes to their own home, family, they see that they are the bosses and expect others to obey their orders, remain practically in reality as the slaves, not to speak anything against their orders etc. They feel that they only can administer the family, they are only right, they only know everything. Therefore, always fights, hates, anger, frustration, isolation, cold wars, walls in socialisation exist in the family. The children try to avoid father by taking night shifts etc so that during day time when the dad is not at home, they are there. Every one after all wants peace, so that they can concentrate on their work and life pursuits. Wife also smartly cuts. If she is head-on with the husband then they make the home a hell or land up in the hospital or come infront of a counsellor.

Basically home is a social organisation where winning is a team work, and not individual performance. When the husband wants to win as an individual in front of his wife or others, then the family is likely to lose in the 'one brain and many bodies' decision making and working or living environment. When every one, irrespective of age and gender, sit together, discuss (not egoistically argue!), and come to a consense keeping 'family' or winning as the team in the forefront, then home becomes heaven, relationships strengthen, every one become peaceful, happy and healthy, synergy is achieved, everyone becomes a winner, every one experiences the best love from the other, and The Family - the fundamental structure of any social system or country becomes strong, ideal, a role-model family etc.

So, the crux is...

1. Let us unlearn the old conventional, traditional and egoistic cultural mind set that Man is the Head of the Family, learn to accept everyone as a potential Human Resource, respect their life experiences, education, etc, (as no one's experience is inferior to the other!).

2. Let us look at winning as a team at the home front too, like in any organisation or department.

3. Peace, happiness and health of everyone in the family is equally important to ensure all these as a family and to live as a family, otherwise the man will get isolated, depressed and feel cheated by his wife and children, at least when he retires or when he becomes aged, physically weak, helpless and needs the support of others in the family. At that time no point in sobbing 'I did soo much, i worked like a donkey my entire life for these people only, for my family only, but they look at me as a butcher, animal, threat and a terrorist!'

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

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