Remain out of caste, god, beliefs, religion and language...they only bring fights, annoyance and strained relationships...

Dear all…THIS IS FOR ALL…

Whenever we are with our family members, friends or in facebook or yahoogroups or whatsapp groups or in any social networking groups, you will find everyone starts fighting only when we talk about god, other beliefs, rituals, caste, religion, politics etc. That is sensitive and divisive factors which human beings have created. It shows that these cannot give us peace, good health and happiness. We need to remain far away from all these.

These only divide us. It only makes people to remain away from each other. It only brings dislike, hatred, annoyance etc. It only cages and traps us.

We might feel that when we join with people like us or like-minded people, i.e people of same caste or religion or language or beliefs etc we will feel happy…but it is not true…it only gives again a bigger cage of limited freedom.

Only when we throw all these divisive ones, free ourselves totally from all these shackles, we really get total freedom…we get real enlightenment…we will enjoy a blissful space in life…that is the time when god enters us…because god has no religion…no caste…no language…no beliefs…god has and shows only unconditional love…only when we free ourselves from all these we get the ability of showing unconditional love…that is when every one irrespective of all the differences, love us!!..That is when we will not feel lonely ever…we will not feel depressed ever…we will never remain abandoned in life!!

So, the crux is…

1. Remain out of caste, god, beliefs, religion and language…at least when you are with others in relationships...in reality or in virtual groups...

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

What is the purpose of life...what are we supposed to do here??

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...this is my own observation and experience...it might be different from that of others...but i am just typing my own experience...yours may be different...i don't deny that...every one's experience is different...!!...You might get several questions in your mind while reading or after reading, which probably will again be explained only differently by different people!!

God does not look at us by our names!

God does not look at our religion to help or not to help!

God does not look at who we are!

God does not look at whether we read the holy books or not!

God does not believe in rituals that we perform!

In fact god does not know religions, caste, holy books, race, rich, poor, country, state, social status, power, authority, fame, family, marriage and other social systems that we have created!!

God does not count how many times we went to temples!

God does not count how many times we chanted his names or mantras!

God does not check if we are reading only our religion holy book or other religion holy books too...to decide whether to hate or love!

God does not hate us!

God does not probably love us too!

God does not give us what we want!

GOD ONLY WATCHES OUR BEHAVIOURS...TO OUR OWN BODY, MIND, SOUL AND TO THAT OF OTHERS...HE GIVES, OR PROBABLY, WHAT WE GET IS WHAT WE DESERVE!!

Some times we might feel that god supports us, but actually it is our own behaviours, or deeds (or positive karma savings we have done!) that supports us!

Some times we might feel that god does not support us or hates us, but actually it is our own behaviours, or deeds or negative karma savings that ditches us!!

If we abuse our body, we get diseases, get pain, will not be able to enjoy this life, and die early!!

If we abuse our mind, we will lose peace, which is as good as death...or worse than death!!

If we abuse other's life, then also we get it back...EVERY ACTION HAS AT LEAST ONE, PROBABLY MANY, EQUAL AND OPPOSITE (REFERS ONLY TO DIRECTION AND NOT EFFECT!!) REACTIONS COMING BACK TO US.

If we do good to us, we live long in peace and good health.

If we do bad to us, we suffer and die.

If we do good to others and Nature, then we get back the same from others and Nature!

If we do bad to others and Nature, then we get back the same from others and Nature!

We can try to change the destiny. It will change, if we deserve. It will not change, if we don't deserve.

If we try to change our destiny, in case it is likely to be bad for us, we don't deserve that bad, then destiny will not change. Destiny will give us something which we don't like now, but something good we deserve, which we will realise later!!...So, accept destiny as it is!!

If we try to change our destiny, in case it is good for us, and we don't deserve it, then also it will not happen and we will get only what we deserve!!

Some times it might appear that destiny has given what we want, but it might not have resulted in good for us ultimately. We might realise this or might not realise also, for entire life!!...If we realise we will get wisdom. If not, we might not get that wisdom!!

SO, ULTIMATELY ALL GOOD AND BAD ARE DUE TO US...DUE TO OUR OWN BEHAVIOURS ONLY AND NOT DUE TO GOD!!

Different definitions and meaning are being given for life by different people. Only the perspectives are different. i.e the angle at which we look at the life. e.g "purpose of life is to reach the feet of the Lord"....this definition may not suit a young boy. But it might well suit an old man to accept death with peace, happiness, pride and grace. Like this every definition can suit us to different phases of life.

But this definition here...that..."THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS TO ENJOY, LEARN TILL END OF LIFE, BECOME AN IDEAL NOBLE HUMAN BEING. ALL RELATIONSHIPS AND LIFE EVENTS / EXPERIENCES ARE FOR OUR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT IN THE JOURNEY TO BECOME A NOBLE, IDEAL HUMAN BEING!".... will probably help all throughout life. Of course, we need to understand the words used here like 'enjoy', 'learn', 'ideal human being', 'spiritual development' correctly. Else we may not understand the definition above correctly in the right sense, might even laugh at it, and may not derive the true benefit.

Let us not waste our precious life in discussing or debating or arguing who created the life, universe etc, as it is the domain of scientists to research and prove, whether they are successful or not.

Let us only look at our own behaviours and development to be an ideal human being!!

WE DECIDE WHAT WE DESERVE!!

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

"Sir, i am not getting a lover!!"..."sir, i am not getting a good match for my son!"

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

I find many people keep their market small and crib that they are not being successful!!...Some of them don't know that they have kept their market small and that is why they are not able to sell their products or services....this is the biggest issue!!

Parents who want to search for brides and bridegrooms..Boys and girls who want to search for their life mates or lovers or soul mates....keep their potential market small with caste or religion restrictions or other big list of restrictions....and keep crying i am not getting a bride, not getting a groom, not getting a lover, not getting a life mate etc. Spread your market to entire world!!...Otherwise accept or at least know why you are suffering, that might make you change or grieve your situation!!

so, the crux is look at global market and not local or national market!!

For products, services, raw materials, knowledge and wisdom services, spiritual services, love, emotional support...evverything....BEING GLOBAL IS THE ONLY WAY FOR BOTH MANUFACTURERS, SERVICE PROVIDERS AND CUSTOMERS!!

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

Is god there??

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO KEEP TALKING AND FIGHTING ABOUT PRESENCE OR ABSENCE OF GOD!!

Some say god is there. Some say not there. Some give their own ideologies and definitions.

At the time of birth we are all unique with respect to this issue...there is no difference...even though by default we are all born in some religion with its own beliefs, at the time of birth, they are all only on paper, as for as we are concerned...The differences in beliefs do not affect us!!

Only during the growth process we are all taught differently about gods by people and society around, or we learn with our own experience and form our own beliefs about god.

None of them is wrong. All these beliefs are right to those concerned individuals, as long as they have made them noble human beings, helped them to live peacefully, happily, healthily (in body and mind), harmoniously with all human beings around everywhere without any negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

If their convictions and beliefs have not given this to them, then it is not true or correct or right for them. They need to rethink about it. Otherwise, their religion might live, but they may not live long and peacefully!!

What i can make out is that every one has some set of beliefs. Some name them as God. Some give even name to that God. Some name them differently. Some may not give any name also.
That is all the difference!!

Obviously depending upon their belief above, they have other rituals or way of living or culture or other definitions of life and living, form their rights and wrong, true and false, correct and incorrect.

Every one gets annoyed when they hear a different concept from others. No one wants to change their belief. Every one is right in their own perspective and experience. Every one tries to prove and convince the other that he or she is right, but other person is unable to accept or not ready to accept.

Every one is emotionally and obsessively attached to their beliefs!!

This becomes an issue only when one tries to force or convince other person to follow his or her beliefs, especially in a family environment or a relationship environment. Once we know the above facts, accept people as they are with their beliefs, allow them to live as per their beliefs, respect their beliefs the way they respect our beliefs, accept the differences that it is Natural, as every one is born, grown and experienced differently in life, pitch the life and relationships beyond these differences, understand that people and relationships are more important than the beliefs, understand that Humanism is more important than all other 'isms', then there is no issue!!

For a peaceful and harmonious living, understanding all the above is important!!

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

Why all of us are suffering here??

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

When i look at people, every one has some suffering or the other!!

Most of the spells of feeling of goodness people enjoy often or once in a while, are falling under the pleasure domain and therefore, the same feeling of goodness (the source...a person or place or life event or a life moment or a relationship or an organisation or a social system or an item) makes them to feel or fall for it urgingly and cravingly, and therefore, the source of 'feeling of goodness' becomes a source of sadness, dissatisfaction, sorrow, frustration, disappointment etc.

Why people are suffering?

Is there any knowledge or wisdom that is lacking on this earth or in this world?...No, the knowledge and wisdom required for a peaceful, happy, healthy, contented, fulfilled and self actualised living is very much available.

Then where is the problem?

It is the distorted or illusioned knowledge, wisdom or truth that is being considered as gospel which is making them to suffer.

People who want to become masters, keep others as slaves, who feel that every one should follow them, people with self motives and self interests...those who want to administer every one...i.e Type A personalities...are the people who distort the true knowledge or wisdom that can bring peace, happiness, health, contentment and fulfillment.

The entire corporate world or business community who provide products and services with profit motive, who are least bothered about the health of the people, morals, values and ethics are the people who are the distorters.

Today all these people read psychology, with a motive of 'How to topple human beings, with strategies which appear to be caring for them, good for them etc'. Truly all the people want to keep people under the 'kick' of the 'pleasure domain' where brain ceases to think, make them addicted to these, lose their physical, mental and social well-being so that their business flourishes.

So, today the definition of 'bad' has changed. Anything that is health compromising that is floating around us is bad.

If only our parents knew this knowledge and wisdom of 'How to live peacefully, happily, healthily with contentment, fulfillment and self actualisation, and taught us, we will not be living this type of screwed life!!

So, the crux is...

1. Let us first realise that all the knowledge and wisdom that we have are a big waste if we don't get the basics said above.

2. Let us first realise that the knowledge and wisdom that is required for getting the vitals above is the basic and 'first-to-know' knowledge. All other knowledge, intelligence, wisdom etc are only just add-ons.

3. Most of the knowledge and wisdom that is floating around and being followed by people are distorted and illusioned, which is the cause of all miseries.

4. The corporate world, administrators and all the rulers of 'all kinds' who are Type-A and who has self interests and business motives know the psychology of human beings and are using strategies to keep people always 'ill, with disorders, with ailments, with pain in body, mind and relationships so that their business flourishes and they are always able to rule and keep every one as their slaves.

5. They have created a way of living, culture, definition of life, habits, social system rules and regulations, belief systems etc in such a way that you will feel you are getting rich, enjoying life, your 'quality' of life or 'standard' of life is improving, good etc. You will feel money and wealth are coming to you. But the truth is these people have made it in such a way that the money and wealth will go away (to hospitals and other places), taking your vital wealth, i.e health...health of body...health of mind...healthy relationships...people...evverything. One day you will get the wisdom that YOU GOT CHEATED, ILLUSIONED, DISTORTED AND WASTED THE LIFE. So, it is better to know the correct knowledge and wisdom and follow in life, so that we save our body, mind, relationships, people, peace, happiness, contentment, fulfillment and self actualisation.

6. The general damage that is happening can not be stopped or prevented by single individuals. But certainly the damage to us, as individuals, can be avoided by protecting ourselves from these distortions, wrong services, products and strategies, life styles, beliefs and definitions of life and living, status, our value etc.

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

The basic reason why we are not peaceful here!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

We have set a MASTER-SLAVE culture in all domains and therefore neither of them are enjoying freedom and therefore they suffer!!!

Masters are all the time involved in learning how to rule or master, planning their strategies and implementing them. Finally they are always anxiety struck, stressed, disappointed, not satisfied, frustrated, sad and suffer. Because they also enslave themselves in these negative cages, loose their freedom, forget to enjoy life with positive methods and strategies with freedom for both, and mess-up and screw-up their lives!!

Even if they win in their strategies to master or enslave others, the feeling of goodness is out of negatives...because...the very act of slaving or mastering others is not natural...not the mandate or intention of nature...therefore, the feeling of goodness you get is a pleasure variant, does not last long, as being a slave is not natural and the slave will one day bounce back to ruin the master!!

Parents want to rule the children and end up in loosing their freedom, peace, happiness and good health!

Teachers want to rule the students,, use all negative methods to get positive outcomes, and lose their freedom of mind!

Husbands want to rule their wives. Wives want to rule their husbands. Mother in law wants to rule the daughter in law. Sister in law wants to rule the new girl in their family. End result is all these people lose their own freedom and become slave of their own negative thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviours and lose their peace and happiness!!

Bosses want to rule the subordinates and peers and lose their freedom to live.

In the same way, caste and religious groups, administrators, countries, across the world want to master, enslave and rule others...the end result is they lose their own freedom in the process and screw up their life!!

So, the crux is...

1. Don't try to master or enslave or rule. It only removes your freedom to live peacefully. You are caging yourself in your own strategies and plans of capturing others' freedom.

2. Allow and help every one to live with full freedom, peace, happiness and good health. You will find your freedom protected and others also will be with you, follow you, as you are radiating positive energy.

3. Only through this unconditional love of positives, we can keep people and relationships in our life, get higher productivity etc.

Peacefully yours...rams...Psychologist!!

"I feel so low because every one criticises me, mocks at me, giggles at me..i am useless!!"

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO FEEL LOW, HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM, FEEL THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE, FEEL BAD THAT EVERY ONE CRITICIZES THEM, FEEL THAT EVERY ONE ELSE IS BETTER THAN THEM.

1. All of us are born differently and grown up differently.

2. The challenges we faced are different, so, the learnt lessons are different, and therefore, our beliefs, rights and wrongs, true and false, correct and incorrect are different.

3. Every one is right in his or her own way and every other person is wrong in comparison with that.

4. So, every one assesses the other person differently and criticizes that he or she is bad, low, less intelligent or less talented, less productive, less quality, less skilled, does not know even such these simple things etc.

E.g bosses, in general, think that their subordinates or clerical staff are not up to their expectations...because they always compare their intelligence and skills with that of others below them. If their subordinates were of his/her standards then they also would have reached that level of a boss and why would they remain as subordinates or clerical staff!!...Sadly bosses and parents don't understand this!!...Their over-expectations from staff and children makes them to get frustrated.

5. So, every one will assess based on what they define is good, bad, correct or incorrect, right or wrong. Based on what they believe is life and living...or relationships!!...If those are right, good and correct then they should be highly achieved, successful in the eyes of every one, should live a peaceful, healthy and happy life, successful in marriage and all types of relationships etc. But sadly they are not!!...All such people remain in the lower jobs and define their life and living with low standards. So, it shows that all their beliefs, thoughts, assessments are wrong and not correct. So, don't bother about their assessments about you!!...Many of them may be jealous and may be want to pull you down!!

6. People who gossip bad about others, never grow, remain low.

7. Successful people and achievers don't have time to gossip about others. They are busy in reading, skill development, knowledge growth, experience gaining etc.

8. Unsuccessful and low grade people talk about others, mostly ill, successful people talk about ideas and oppurtunities.

9. So, don't join with low grade people. Join with successful people. Think about ideas and oppurtunities to grow and develop yourself.

10. It is not our job to live like what others define life as. We have to define our life and living, our goals, aims and objectives. We have to decide our destiny.

11. If we try to please others we will only fake ourselves which is stressful and we will not enjoy what we do and how we behave.

12. It is impossible to make every one assess us good by being in traditional ways.

13. We don't have any control on others and their thinking. And their talking too.

14. But we have total control on ourselves and our thinking.

15. So, don't bother about what others say, just bother about your growth and improvement. If they don't talk to you, just ignore. Such downgrading, negative people are not required in our life. They only decrease our self confidence.

16. Good, true and real friends don't giggle, don't mock at us, they don't criticise our short comings, they only think how we can be improved without pointing out our negatives, they do and implement the things necessary to improve us, and we improve without knowing our short comings, and they will feel happy that we have improved. Such friends never leave us. They will always be with us. Those who criticise us never do any good for us. Not of any use to us. Then why to bother about them and their friendships?

17. If we are good human beings, impartial, then all these people also will come to us at the times of need, because they are shameless people...opportunistic people....not good human beings for socialization. We can try changing them when they come to us for help, but no guarantee.

So, the crux is...

1. Never bother about the criticisms of others. You are unique and best as long as you are a good human being. Because this is what is rare and all the other knowledge and skills are waste and meaningless for socialization and relationships if their is no human attitude and traits of love, affection, compassion, caring and supporting.

2. One who has human qualities will not criticise and will only help to improve. They are the real good friends, and not those who criticise your weak points or exploit you on those weak points.

Peacefully yours....rams...psychologist!!

We need to think on this...for peace...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Today, every one is busy in studies or work. No one has time for their own selves. Where is the time for giving to others?...Even after work they are stressed, tired and anxiety struck in mind...no energy to do anything...no emotions and feelings!!

But every one wants, love, lover, marriage, wife, children, abundance of love from their significant people, who are also extremely busy, stressed, anxiety struck and tired!!

So, obviously frustration, anger, lots of aggression, spill of hurting words, fights, sadness, liquor, smoking, drugs, pills, break-ups, loss of people and relationships, loneliness, depression!!

We need to think!!

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

What is the first and foremost to be taught to all children!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS...

The first thing we have to teach all children is how to be peaceful, cool, calm, stable, without anger, anxiety, stress, how to remain without distractions, how to remain focused, how to take decisions in life, how to be positive always, how to make positive strategies...at all times in life...including all relationships!!

Without this all the knowledge we teach is a waste!!

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

'He thinks i am useless, not good...that is why he has sent this post to me or behaves like this to me!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Many of us keep thinking on our own negatively that 'she thinks about me like this!!...He thinks about me like this!!...that is why he or she is doing like this!! He or she has sent me this post!!' etc...It may be reality or perception!!

How does it matter as long as we are peaceful and improving in all dimensions!!...

If the criticism is true, why not we use that criticism as an oppurtunity to change and grow!!...

Many have become achievers due to the criticisms of others (including me!!), by converting their energies in positive direction of growth!!

Some are self driven and self realised. Not every one is like that.

So,....the crux is...

1. Let us not gossip about others.

2. Those who gossip about others, are truly wasting their precious life time, which they can use for their own self development and growth. Such people remain where they are. They never grow!!

3. Those who use the negative criticisms of others into positive energy, positive motivation and positive drive to achieve become successful people!

4. Let us not keep thinking about 'how others are thinking about me?...this is how they think!...He or she is thinking about me like this...that is why he or she is behaving like this with me...he or she is sending such posts or comments about me etc....ANY PERCEPTION, WHETHER REALITY OR OUR OWN PERCEPTION, THAT RESULTS IN NEGATIVES IS NOT THE RIGHT PERCEPTION FOR US. LET US FORGET ABOUT WHETHER IT IS TRUE OR RIGHT OR CORRECT ETC. LET US ACCEPT THAT IT IS NOT TRUE, BECAUSE IT IS NOT GIVING US IMPROVEMENT, OR PEACE OR HAPPINESS OR SELF CONFIDENCE. LET US THINK, FEEL AND DO WHATEVER IS REQUIRED FOR US TO GROW, DEVELOP AND MATURE!!

Peacefully yours...rams...psychologist!!

What is the right method of being successful or achieving what we want to achieve?

Dear all....THIS IS FOR ALL...

There are many people who are bull headed for promotions, they are ready to achieve it by any means, achieve too, and when they look back after achieving, they realise that they have lost health, family, friends, children etc and console themselves by saying 'There is no gain without pain'...'everything comes with a price'...'therefore i am right!'...and such other statements which float around in society as 'bhagwat gita' or mantra or tantra of success!!

There are many people who feel that their lover has cheated or left them, they plan a strategy to take revenge, and they do also, achieve what they wanted, and feel happy about it. But the truth is anything done negative to others comes back to us through that person (he or she also plans for a revenge...so, we keep bleeding each other and suffer!!) or through others (karma effect!). Any 'pleasure' we derive by negatives like revenge, jealous etc does not result in health enhancing changes inside the body and mind, in a long term.

Like this we follow many methods, processes in life to achieve whatever we want. Every one plans many strategies. We think it is the survival of the fittest. 'Unless we are one up, we can't be successful'...this is what we think. We keep reading the Chanakya principles and strategies of leadership or management or relationships and follow in life, without bothering about the losses!!...We also console ourselves by saying 'We can't achieve anything without compromises and sacrifices!'.

The truth is...

1. There are several answers for any problem. There are 'n' number of methods to solve the problem.

2. Usually, traditionally, conventionally, what we follow...or what society teaches us to follow...what parents, relatives and friends teach us to follow...all result in achieving what we want but with some losses, damages etc...most of them are negative methods...e,g we follow negative method of parenting to achieve positive results in marks or changes in behaviour of children but lose them in relationships and land up in loneliness...teachers in schools also follow negative methods resulting in hate in the minds of students for studies, teachers and school making them to go for health compromising thoughts and behaviours...bosses in organisations...policy makers...government...every one follows negative methods to achieve positives. Sad part is it has become a culture, the best and right method known to us...!!

3. Truly only positive methods can bring about any change without any losses or damages or unpleasantness.

4. Any positive process or any method we use to achieve our goals, aims or passion or objectives without any damages or losses or unpleasantness or without spoiling our reputation or relationships or without spoiling the peace or happiness or health of ours and others, with enhancement in overall feeling of goodness in us, others, family and organisations is the right method. All others are wrong methods even if you achieve the objective.

Peacefully yours...rams...Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL WHO WANT SUCCESSFUL LOVE IN THEIR LIFE!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL WHO WANT SUCCESSFUL LOVE IN THEIR LIFE!!

"Neer indri amaiyaathu ulagu
(with out water there is no life...there is no world)

Nee indri amaiyaathu yen ulagu
(without you i don't have life...without you, i don't have world!!)

It is vital to have a real or perception of unconditional and devotional love to live peacefully and healthily on this earth!!...This is the pure or true or virgin or divine form of love!!

In the above lines, 'Nee' or 'you' refers to, the above form of love!!..It could be realised or perceived from a living or non living or non existent human being or any other living organism or non living....Nature!!

So, without learning...without having...without knowing...without pursuing...unconditional and devotional love, it is not possible to have the long lasting, life long, peaceful, happy relationships...not possible to live a peaceful life...not possible to live a happy life...not possible to live a healthy life...not possible to live a truly all dimensional successful life!!

One who does not pursue this, is sure to have a break up in any kind of relationship...in some domain or the other!!

So, let us pursue this...

Let us teach our children also this, so that they don't suffer break ups in their life...their marriage is successful...love life is successful...they become good human beings!!

So, without water their is no life in this world!
Without unconditional love, there are no enlightening relationships in this world!
Without unconditional love, there is no peace, happiness and health in life!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO SUFFER BREAK-UP...IN A COMMITTED OR UNCOMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AND WANT TO GET THEIR PERSON BACK IN THEIR LIFE!!

Dear all....THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO SUFFER BREAK-UP...IN A COMMITTED OR UNCOMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AND WANT TO GET THEIR PERSON BACK IN THEIR LIFE!!

If the person has left you and gone to another person, don't worry!!

You want that person back??

If answer is yes, JUST CONTINUE SHOWING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF CARING AND SUPPORTING TO THAT PERSON...HE OR SHE WILL 200% COME BACK...because...because...

1. No human being generally gives unconditional love. So, the new love must be conditional for meeting the needs or wants (of variety!!) !!

2. No conditional love can lost for long!! (it is sure to reach the third stage, of possessiveness or obsession, and will break after that!!)

3. So, it is sure to break-up one day and the person will 200% search for an unconditional love.

4. If you are the source of that unconditional love then, he or she will certainly come back to you!!

Jealous and revenge are negative...might result in short term pleasure...but can not give long term or life long happiness!!

Conditional love gives short time pleasures which vanish and will create boredom.

Unconditional love gives long term happiness which remains for entire life, because, happiness is a must for entire life.

The feeling of goodness in Pleasure is related to body and has the property of urging or craving or variety needs.

The feeling of goodness in Happiness is related to mind or soul or heart and has the property of longing and may not look for variety!!

So, don't curse or take revenge...then that person may not come back to you....and you get only bad karma...with its bad effects.

Only continue embracing with unconditional love...the person is sure to come back one day!!

Of course, it is not so easy, and it requires lots of spiritual maturity and being in an enlightened state of mind!!.....Of course, relationships are for reaching this state of mind only...the God State...The Mother State...before the life ends!!

All relationships are for Spiritual Development, and NOT for satiation of needs and wants!!

Peacefully yours....rams....Psychologist!!