IMPORTANT FOR ALL PARENTS AND CHILDREN...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS AND CHILDREN...All parents comment and shout at their children saying 'look at this creature!...No fears, no worries, no tension...about the exams, assignments, future etc!'...All wives also comment and shout at their husbands almost the same way...'oru kavalai irukkaa!!...Oru appaannu konjamaavathu poruppu irukkaa?...kavalai illaatha manushan!!...paiyan, ponnu padikkiraangalaa, avanga yenna panraanga...yethaachhum oru akkarai irukkaa!!' ('Hmmm...look at this man...he just comes, eats, sleeps and goes...not at all bothered about what the children are doing at home or school!!...I only have to take all the tensions!!')

Our culture defines RESPONSIBILITY as worrying about unknown future, remaining tensed, being anxiety struck always, forcing others to do those things which we think are right, second-by-second monitoring, comparing with others...

It also includes coming back home early from office, sitting with children, seeing their homework, making them to do, seeing what they have learnt at school, the remarks of the teachers, assuming that the child does not know anything and teaching every thing at home like a teacher, cover-to-cover of the book, going to bed late, getting up early, forcing the children also to get up early, again sitting with them till leaving office. If a husband does all these including leaving the children at tuitions, buying books, taking them to the right tuitions etc then he is branded as a responsible father!!

The result is they remain anxiety struck for about 20 years from the age of 5 of child to about 25!...They put everyone around in tension all the time...remain frustrated...keep shouting at all around...make their life miserable!!...Get diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, cardio vascular diseases, the wife and husband break-up on many strings of relationships in life between them!!

All of us have done this. This might lead to a good end product. But this may not lead to a PROCESS that is enjoyable for both the parents and children. So, therefore it is not a correct process.

In this case WE GO TO THE CHILDREN. They remain lame. We don't allow them to grow. We motivate. But it does not last long.
UNLESS THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES GET MOTIVATED AND INSPIRED FROM WITHIN!!...Instead of doing all the above IF WE START DOING THINGS WHICH INTEREST THE CHILDREN, MAKE THEM COME TOWARDS US, DO WHAT EVER WE DO, AND IF WE TEACH THEM WHAT IT IS, HOW TO DO ETC WITH INVOLVEMENT AND INTEREST, THEN THE CHILDREN GET INSPIRED FROM WITHIN AND THIS COOL FIRE, CONSTRUCTIVE FIRE, BURNS LIFE LONG AND HERE...

there is no anxiety...
there is no shouting...
there are no waking up calls and headaches...
no tension of giving bath, dressing up, getting the bag ready and throwing in the auto or cab
there is no tension of unknown future, exams, assignments, projects
there is no tension of which school/college, which course etc

everything happens slow, continuous, smooth, steady, in auto...

children get up first
they wake up the parents
they study on their own
they come to parents asking doubts, clarifications, guidance etc
parents only inspire by doing themselves what they expect their children to do...exercise, studies, performing art forms...this is what existed in traditional families...parents did...children also followed them. There was no forcing. The process was a fun, enjoyed by all.

It starts from the age of 2 yrs for children. WHATEVER WE DO, CHILDREN ALSO DO. While doing these we can teach Science, maths, history, geography, Nature, philosophy, spirituality, decision making skills in life situations, carving our own destiny etc as a fun...as a game......children will like this and feel 'MY PARENTS ARE THE ULTIMATE PEOPLE FOR ME ON EARTH WITH WHOM I CAN DISCUSS ANYTHING WITHOUT ANY INHIBITIONS. THEY WILL ALWAYS MAKE ME THINK AND TAKE MY OWN DECISIONS AND PAVE MY LIFE PATH!'...which is the correct social climate that we have to form at home. Then house becomes home. Home becomes heaven. Life becomes beautiful. Grooming becomes a fun!!

Haa..haa..haa...every one says i am a man without any worries. My wife also says 'He has no worries. He does not ask the children what they do. They study on their own!'.

But the truth is i have made them to study on their own.Created the right social climate as described above. Inspired them by doing things myself. Walks, runs, yoga, getting up early, studying about things which interest the children e.g about aircraft, space vehicles, universe, nature, science subjects, robotics, researching human behaviours...taking them to all places where these things are researched...preparing for exams and writing exams myself at this age...the result is, they study on their own...get up on their own...seek only suggestions and guidance where they are struck...

EVERY CHILD PICKS UP HIS OR HER ROLE MODEL (MODELLING BEHAVIOUR) DURING EARLY TEENS. This is visible when the paste posters of their role models on the walls. They talk about them all the time. They keep seeing, admiring them and do whatever their role models do. WHY NOT THE PARENTS BE THE ROLE MODELS...IF NOT COMPLETELY, AT LEAST IN THE CORE THINGS OF LIFE!!...AND INTRODUCE THE CHILDREN TO THE RIGHT ROLE MODELS IN LIFE WHO CAN INSPIRE THEM!!

It may not be possible for all the parents to all these...but can do at least those which can make them live healthy like getting up early, walking, exercising etc.

So, let us not force or compel or direct or rule!

Let us ONLY MOTIVATE, ENCOURAGE AND INSPIRE!!

Peacefully yours....rams!!