'I loved a girl deeply. We united many times. Now, without any reason and without telling me she has cut the relationship. She has developed relationship with some other person. I am deeply upset and affected'

Dear all...ONE QUESTION...ONE ANSWER...

Qn. sir, i loved a girl deeply and sooo much for more than two years. We united many times. Now, without any reason and without telling me she has cut the relationship. She is avoiding me and not attending calls, not replying messages and says 'busy' when i trap her. She has developed relationship with some other person. I am deeply upset and affected. I am not able to do anything and feel depressed.

(above is not gender specific and common to both genders)

Ans. Experiments reveal that an average human being has three types of relationships in reality or fantasy. The number of people involved could be many at different times.

1. 'I love this person and want to get married, produce children and want to make a family. I can't leave this person for anything or anyone! I want this person for my entire life! I am possessive about this person'...This perfectly falls in place with Nature, as Nature wants life to go-on on this earth, so does all the magics of attraction, mating, reproduction, grooming with necessary thinking, needs, wants, expectations, emotions and behaviours.

2. The same above person wants some one (or more) for his/her emotional support (may be with or without sexual physical intimacy). The person is mentally possessive or physically possessive or both about this person. So, Can't leave this person too and wants this person throughout life!!...This also falls in place with Nature, as Nature has produced or evolved human beings as complex organisms with complex mind and complicated mental needs!!

3. The above person with above two, wants to have one or more people to quench the animal-body needs too! This could be real or fantasy. The person is not emotionally attached with this person and can leave this person and go to another person any time....This also falls in place with Nature, where it wants 'no two individuals to be with same appearance, behaviours and personality traits'. So, the variety needs or variation seeking behaviour drives the body and mind to seek more people to satiate the animal needs without any emotional attachment or need for producing children and making a family with them.

In the above question probably the person who fled perceived No.3 above and the other person perceived one of the remaining two or both or No.3 (but not yet reached the boring or monotonous or not left the inquisitive stage).

In an open relationship without marriage such break-ups are common as there is no commitment. In married relationships too it can break at some level or the other, known only to the people concerned and not known to others.

'Possessiveness' and 'variation needs' are the complementary Nature induced needs which kills relationships, peace, health and life of people.

To escape from this, yoga is a must to keep the body and mind self-regulating without any need for control due to increased craving or urges.

The biggest problem is people do not know whether they are attracted to another person for No.1 or 2 or 3 or combinations. Most of the people get married without knowing what for they are getting married, what they want in the relationship or from the other person, what are their expectations etc.
If we can figure out what we want from the other person then most of the relationships, marriages and lives can be saved.

Peacefully yours...rams....