"sir, i get angry with my girlfriend everyday and start shouting and abusing.....what to do?"

Dear all,

One Question...One Answer...

Qn. "Sir, i get angry with my girlfriend every day and start shouting and abusing...what to do?"

Ans: Not only you, most of us do this. Not only with girlfriend, we do this with all the relationships we have. Almost all the relationships break. This is because our FOCUS is 'our needs, wants and expectations from that person'. Our love depends on what the person can give, whether the person can give what we need or not and the level of satiation of our needs.

Instead, if we shift our focus to 'the relationship...the person who he or she is...the importance of that relationship in our life, the importance of the person in our life, how much the person or the relationship matters in our life...then the situation can be better. Instead of looking at the instantaneous needs, we may look at the long term gain in peace and happiness through the person and the relationship.

Hope this helps...

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!