hai friends...how are we?...missed me?...or no?...
anyway...here is an interesting post....
yesterday i visited a house...a bed ridden grandmaa of 95+ years was requesting her daughter-in-law to shift her bed to the living room...daughter-in-law is her own grand daughter!!...her point was 'she is laid in a 'forgotten' room' and is not able to see any of her children...when she said this her son, her daughter, all her grand and grand grand children were happily watching the tv programme in the living room...and tv was her only entertainment at home till two days back when she fell down and became bed ridden...daughter in law said many visitors visit the living room and her son is due for marriage...so those who want to see the boy and the family also visit the house...if the grand ma's bed is shifted to the living room then it will not give a pleasant environment in the living room...when she said this the grand ma also agreed and requested for shifting to another room from where she can not watch tv or participate in the social dynamics at home, but can at least watch her children moving here and there...this was agreed to and she was shifted...
this grandma got married at the age of 14 and till date her life has been only her children, grand children and great grand children...feeding them, cuddling them, even cooking, washing, cleaning, cutting vegetables etc, giving only love to all...till two days back when she fell and got bed ridden...now she is not able to remain away from them!
i am unable to understand this belief in our society...can any one educate me?
what is the wrong in she being there when visitors visit the house?
what is wrong in telling the visitors or those who visit the house to see the boy or family (for marriage fixing) 'sir, welcome!...this is me, my wife, my son, my daughter and my sisters and their husbands and children...and here is my mom, who is the pillar of our family, fulcrum of our happiness and without her, we all are not here!...she is 95+ and bed ridden. If she was young and healthy she would have been talking and conducting the entire proceedings of this ceremony. But she has lost her hearing, speech and strength to sit, stand or walk. But can see what is happening around. I want her to see her grand son getting engaged. Nothing happens in our house with out her blessings. So, she is here on her bed. Shall we start the proceedings?'
any thing wrong in saying this?...anything wrong in keeping the 'aged people on bed' as part of the ceremonies?...will the visitors see them as 'not a good sign' to ahead with a function or marriage or reject the proposal?...or will they underestimate the status of the family?...why our people keep them away from such visitors or functions?...why are they deprived of the happiness of being there?...can such functions or ceremonies happen again for them?...in fact, most of the aged people say they are living only to see such occasions of their children...even my own grand mother was not allowed to be in my marriage function, her only grandson's marriage function, about which she had dreams all through out her life because her son in law died just 5 days back!!!
such a situation can happen to that daughter-in-law or any one in that family...why we don't think about such situations?...why we treat 'aged and bed ridden' people as sign of 'unpleasantness' or 'sadness' or '---------'?
why...why...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?...what a bloody society, social system, social customs / traditions and way of living we have created?
sadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!
rams
anyway...here is an interesting post....
yesterday i visited a house...a bed ridden grandmaa of 95+ years was requesting her daughter-in-law to shift her bed to the living room...daughter-in-law is her own grand daughter!!...her point was 'she is laid in a 'forgotten' room' and is not able to see any of her children...when she said this her son, her daughter, all her grand and grand grand children were happily watching the tv programme in the living room...and tv was her only entertainment at home till two days back when she fell down and became bed ridden...daughter in law said many visitors visit the living room and her son is due for marriage...so those who want to see the boy and the family also visit the house...if the grand ma's bed is shifted to the living room then it will not give a pleasant environment in the living room...when she said this the grand ma also agreed and requested for shifting to another room from where she can not watch tv or participate in the social dynamics at home, but can at least watch her children moving here and there...this was agreed to and she was shifted...
this grandma got married at the age of 14 and till date her life has been only her children, grand children and great grand children...feeding them, cuddling them, even cooking, washing, cleaning, cutting vegetables etc, giving only love to all...till two days back when she fell and got bed ridden...now she is not able to remain away from them!
i am unable to understand this belief in our society...can any one educate me?
what is the wrong in she being there when visitors visit the house?
what is wrong in telling the visitors or those who visit the house to see the boy or family (for marriage fixing) 'sir, welcome!...this is me, my wife, my son, my daughter and my sisters and their husbands and children...and here is my mom, who is the pillar of our family, fulcrum of our happiness and without her, we all are not here!...she is 95+ and bed ridden. If she was young and healthy she would have been talking and conducting the entire proceedings of this ceremony. But she has lost her hearing, speech and strength to sit, stand or walk. But can see what is happening around. I want her to see her grand son getting engaged. Nothing happens in our house with out her blessings. So, she is here on her bed. Shall we start the proceedings?'
any thing wrong in saying this?...anything wrong in keeping the 'aged people on bed' as part of the ceremonies?...will the visitors see them as 'not a good sign' to ahead with a function or marriage or reject the proposal?...or will they underestimate the status of the family?...why our people keep them away from such visitors or functions?...why are they deprived of the happiness of being there?...can such functions or ceremonies happen again for them?...in fact, most of the aged people say they are living only to see such occasions of their children...even my own grand mother was not allowed to be in my marriage function, her only grandson's marriage function, about which she had dreams all through out her life because her son in law died just 5 days back!!!
such a situation can happen to that daughter-in-law or any one in that family...why we don't think about such situations?...why we treat 'aged and bed ridden' people as sign of 'unpleasantness' or 'sadness' or '---------'?
why...why...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?...what a bloody society, social system, social customs / traditions and way of living we have created?
sadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!
rams
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