'Sir, my lover loves me toooooooo much that i am unable to bear that pain!!...Please help me and save me!!'

Dear all....some one reading the posts below about LOVE might feel various things....there are different levels of Love...

when a lover boy says 'I love you toooooooooooo much maa. You are my world. You are my world. You are my breath...and i can't imagine my life without you!', the girl feels toooooooooooo happy and feels she can die and take birth to hear those words again and again. The end result the day is made for both the people!!

Some times the same Too-much-of-love can become painful too....

for e.g when some one feels Obsessive Love (i.e only one person appears to be the ultimate beauty on earth by appearance and personality traits, 'every one says 'not beautiful' but for the obsessed the other person appears the ultimate-beauty, all the time thinking about that person only without doing anything in life and living), , then it becomes a pain for both the people....while the loved feels great initially and miserable later, the lover feels anxiety struck, insecure, possessive, suspicious...all these lead to too much of crying, begging the partner, feeling sorry, feeling guilty, unable to concentrate on anything, leaving the job, not able to do the daily chores in personal life-office-society, spoiled family life, spoiled relationships, feeling loneliness, orders-demands-controls-expectations, torturing, extremes of both positive and negative emotions, destructive behaviours, experience painful-pleasures and can finally lead to suicides too...the list is long!!

The loved also feels pity, freedom-lost, life is miserable, unable to even laugh, depressive, unable to concentrate in anything etc....The list is real big!!

So, too much love is also not good.

Then how much of love is correct??

It again varies from person to person.

So, the right level is...

The level in which both the people feel peaceful, good physical-mental and social well-being, happiness (not pleasure), freedom of life and living, contentment, fulfillment in life, self actualisation and self transcending.

So, all those who are in love can check out if they are in this domain and allowing the other person also in their same domain. If any one does not feel the above, then there is a problem in that love. It is not a correct love or level of love. Both need to sit together and talk it out to ensure both get the above.

But unable to chalk out the coping skills or find anyway to come out of obsession, then multiple interventions with medicine, counselling, change of place-climate and environment and other therapies like yoga, meditation etc will help....

Keep rocking....

Rams....Health Psychologist.