'He criticised my parents. How can i tolerate that!...I can't give up my parents!...So, i gave him back. We are not talking for the past three days!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL LOVERS AND YOUNG COUPLE!

There are many lovers and couple who keep fighting with their pairs on the issue that the other person criticised his/her parents!

'He criticised my parents. How can i tolerate that!...I can't give up my parents!...So, i gave him back. We are not talking for the past three days!'

What is the reason...

1. In some cases the parents have spoken hurting words at the other person or his/her parents some time which has wounded deeply.This disturbs the life of the young couple for their entire life. Depending on the maturity and needs of both the parents and the youngies of each other, how they handle the situation, the issue gets resolved or burns for ever!

2. Parents of either side think their 'child'(?) is not smart and can probably get cheated by the other party, and so, interfere in the life of the youngsters and make their life miserable.

3. The expectations from each other between the youngies. (related to their parents too!)

What is the solution?....

1. If the children fall in love with some one, parents do not like that, then they should not handle it the way they have seen in movies. It is a tricky situation of the child-silksaree falling on a thorn(?). It has to be handled cleverly with love and affection as the tool, without getting emotional about it, without losing cool and using hurting words, because, if they get married and at a later stage the parents have to involve in their life, which is most probable, then using filmi or TV serial style spoils the life!

2. To the extent possible the elders should not interfere in the life of youngies physically, socially or mentally. Even if the situation arises of involvement, then instead of advising or directing or controlling they can keep their life, thinking and behaviours like 'Our living, period of life, the olden society was different. Your life is different. You live your life. We have groomed you nicely in a way you are capable of taking decisions suiting your life. So, we are confident that you can live in peace, happiness and good health. We will not interfere in your life. Tell us how we can be useful and helpful to you"

3. The youngsters should, as for as possible, should not talk about their parents with the other person. Before marriage itself they can discuss about the involvement of their parents in their life etc. One should realise that they would not have got their best half of their life or lover without his/her parents. They should also realise that in no time they will also become parents and land up in the same situation.

They can show maturity and pardon and forget the language and behaviour of the elders thinking that 'every parent has anxiety and fear about the life and security of their child. What experience, exposure and surety they have to believe a stranger!..so it is ok. Let me prove that i can be the best friend for their child, spouse, lover and good son-in-law or daughter-in-law!..Let me change their perceptions with my positive thinking and behaviours!'

Throwing away the ego and coming forward to build a good relationship by all four concerned is the solution, especially by the elders for the betterment of the youngies!

Peacefully yours....rams.....