Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS BUT PHYSICALLY SEPARATED...
Adolescence is characterised by a surge or spurt of relationships with attractions on varieties of reasons externally and internally. All these attractions have underlying known or unknown needs more than the love and affection which they have been getting from parents and siblings for more than a decade and half. Every one quotes several reasons for their attractions!!
When these underlying needs, wants and expectations are not fulfilled and when the relationship is obsessed, possessive, then it leads to suspicion, sniffing, policing, anger, frustration, hate, shouts with exchange of heart breaking words which hurt and make wounds for life time which can never heal and break-up.
Only when the relationship is beyond these unfulfilled needs, wants and expectations then it sustains without break-up. Truly in the present and future world of unlimited, easy, world-wide relationships full of easy and quick options, UNCONDITIONAL only will sustain!!...i.e accept people as they are...relationship we have formed with others is ours due to our own obsessions and not theirs and has no relevance to their behaviours and their perceived relationships with us etc...
So, it is better to learn and practice this rather than getting burnt up every day in relationships!!
Total life style change is required for this. If we pursue life styles being followed by others around, then we will also suffer in relationships and define life as 'full of sorrows', the way others around us define!!
Change the interests in life!!...Spend more time and emotions with sources of unconditional love, animals, plants and nature, rather than with human beings, who are mostly conditional!!
Increase the EQ...Emotional Quotient...not just IQ, Intelligent Quotient. For this we need to improve our SQ, Spiritual Quotient, that is making our mind strong to keep it balanced and calm even at the most multidimensional demanding, challenging and stressful times of life. So, IQ, EQ, SQ...all three are important to be successful.
So, the crux of the chemical reaction is...
1. obsession+no satiation of needs, wants and expectations=suspicion, frustration, war of words, break-up
2. Obsession+satiation of needs=cool life till needs are met
3. Unconditional=happiness
Peacefully yours....Rams...Psychologist!!
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