Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL PRESENT AND FUTURE HUSBANDS AND WIVES...
Kaliyug says...BETTER WAKE UP...BETTER CHANGE IN HEALTH ENHANCING WAYS TO THE CHANGES HAPPENING AROUND...DON'T BE STUCK TO THE HEALTH COMPROMISING WAYS OF TRADITIONAL AND CONVENTIONAL LIVING AND LIFE!!
In olden days the relationship between husband and wife was built or woven based on 'needs'...'dependencies'...the social system was set up in such a way that the girl was totally dependent on the man...and the man was totally dependent on the girl...
On the side of the girl...no education, no work, no professional knowledge or skill development possible...no freedom of speech, she could not express her views, feelings, thoughts etc...she was only taught how to maintain home, remain quiet, laugh less and without making any sound, look after the husband, children and in-laws, maximum skill development was stitching clothes, or some art work that will benefit her home...and a big list of nick-names if she was not lucky, did not produce children, did not bring dowry, if husband died, if she could not produce male children etc. Multiple layers of security were imposed on her that she can never leave the home or do anything different.
So, she was totally dependent and parasitic upon her husband and his family for food, clothing, shelter, physical security, social security etc. The man was also made to depend on her for all his body needs. He was rarely available in privacy with his wife in a combined family system and could think only for his wife and children.
Some say that this is the best family relationship system!!...The new system of liberation of girls will break the best cohesive, conventional and conservative family system, relationships between husband and wife etc. The man and women have to be dependent on each other, only then a family system or relationship can survive. Physical intimacies, good tasty food and sex only can give this.
This is the argument of traditional people. As they are not aware that there are several other domains of life other than the body needs where the relationships and attachments could be strengthened.
They wrongly perceived LUST to be LOVE. In this system the man only suffered in one side of not able to get satiation of needs from his wife and enjoyed his need satiation outside the family and he had the upper hand at home and in society, of power and authority, the other females at home and around supported saying ‘Men are like that. There is no other way for us!’...And inspite of all these regulatory mechanisms they populated this country so much that it is second largest and no reforms in economy or governance or revolutionary decisions will every be able to bring in happiness to people.
Ok...you tell me...Is it really a correct system?...Where people are caged due to Learned Helplessness of social rules and regulations...where people live on 'lower two chakras'...i.e below the belly needs...pleasure needs of food, sex, and pleasures of holding and releasing the excretory system.
This is how the animals live...based on digestive system, gynaec system and excretory system...for all their pleasures...no wonder the life was complicated, with all fights, demands, controls, expectations, slavery, mastery, superiority, inferiority etc.
As there was no contraception facility few decades before, they brought in lots of religion based rules and regulations that the man and woman will not join on bed during most of the times, to protect the girl.
The spicy foods stimulated the hormone system of the body and drove the man madly for body needs. But neither the wife came nearby nor the people around allowed him or her to get closer. Both were kept away for most of the time. At the same time the culture did not recommend self-dependence as coping skill for the man to relieve himself of the body needs.
In this culture no one ever thought that the girl also has a body and her needs are to be met...she also has a mind which thinks and has same types of needs of men, which also need to be satiated....No one ever thought of this!!
Though the wife gave care and support (love), food, a neat home, clothing, children, happy home, it was not sufficient for man and everything else she gave was perceived insignificant when his body needs of lust were not satiated. Therefore, the unfulfilled needs, wants and desires brought in dissatisfaction, frustration, sadness, fights, shouts, anger, beating which spoiled the relationship between husband and wife and also the harmony at home. As he was not taught or allowed (as it is against the ethics and values as per them and they also felt that it will make the man or girl to be independent and not dependent on the spouse...and it will remove the closeness or attraction between them) self dependence, he went for extra marital relationships or sex workers for satiation of his body needs...which he and the culture defined as LOVE!!...This further added the fuel to the fire of disharmony in family life.
This system defined relationships based on body needs. This was the fulcrum of the relationship and relationship collapsed even if the other needs were met.
Today the boy and girl are working at two different places as they are not able to find jobs at the same place. Achievement oriented life driven by our parents and culture is another reason why they don’t want to make compromises and sacrifices. There are several other reasons why the husband and wife are not able to live together. Families have almost become single parent families. Under this conditions will the old system of ‘Relationships based on Body need Satiation’ will work out?
Will the old system of ‘don’t be self dependent on body need satiation, go to your wife’ will help?..
No wonder rapes, child sexual abuses, sexual abuses of women have increased. The high stress levels on jobs and social living increases their urge for tongue tasty foods, binge eating and varieties of spicy and junk food available today with a status element attached to it makes every one to hog, stimulate the hormone systems to shooting levels and therefore, the body is driven madly like an animal for sexual and physical intimacy needs!!
Then what is the correct system?
Today girls have access to education and job oppurtunities. This is a healthy change. This has liberated them from all the inhuman, unnatural, idiotic, primitive, animal-like beliefs of the past based on 'dependencies'. They can earn. They can spend. They can pursue their hobbies, passion and goals. They can use their brain for self, family, country, world and humanity. They can use their wisdom. They have freedom to express and own decision making powers. So, the old beliefs, and thoughts about what a girl should do at home, her duties and responsibilities have to be redefined. If some one tries to follow the old system, then he will lose peace, the basic of life!!
Correct way is 'attachment' and not 'parasitic dependencies'!!
Attachment should from the arising of common interests other than body needs of food, sex, physical intimacies etc.
Life of both and the family should be based on the chakras from the head to the diaphragm. I.e energy and life through brain...thoughts...prana or breathe...!!
Brain is related to finding commonality between the girl and boy through their intellectual pursuits, common passion, ability to help each other in their professional front using intellects, knowledge, skills, personality traits etc and getting attached to each other on these domains. Finding common interests in supporting each other in ALL house chores, family rituals, child production, rearing (today's child rearing is complex)...evverything.
Finding Commonality in interests in art forms and getting attached to each other...whether both are interested in dancing...or singing...or painting...or writing...or interior decoration...the list of art forms is real lengthy and big.
Finding commonality in philosophy, science, engineering or management etc.
Finding commonality in health enhancing life style pursuits and finding an attachment between the two.
Like this there are many domains where commonality and attachment are possible. So, there has to be strong back bone of commonality of interest through the entire life of changing interests, where the two can get attached.
Earlier slavery kind of concept did not help her to live in peace, and will ever help any girl now and in future to live in peace...as IT IS UNNATURAL AND AGINST THE ETHICS AND HUMAN VALUES TO KEEP SOME ONE AS SLAVE.
Therefore, kaliyug has brought liberation of feminine from the shackles of masculine and tells men...BLOODY CHANGE...ELSE PERISH!!
IT SAYS DON’T ENSLAVE HER, LIBERATE HER. CARE AND SUPPORT HER IN INTELLECTUAL PURSUITS AND ALL DOMAINS.
IT SAYS CONSUME HEALTHY NON AROUSING SOLID, LIQUID AND GASEOUS FOODS/INPUTS AND PURSUE A HEALTHY LIFE STYLE SO THAT YOUR HORMONE SYSTEM IS STABLE/BALANCED, DOES NOT MAKE YOU TO CRAVE OR URGE LIKE AN ANIMAL, FOLLOW YOGA AND MEDITATION KIND OF MIND EMPOWERING HEALTH STYLE SO THAT BODY AND MIND BECOME SELF REGULATED/CALM/COOL/FOCUSSED, AND THEREFORE NO NEED OF STRESSFUL CONTROLS.
IT ALSO SAYS BE SELF DEPENDENT TO SATIATE YOUR AROUSALS TO FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS NEED USING COPING SKILLS, SO THAT YOUR BODY AND MIND ARE RELIEVED FOR BETTER PROGRESSIVE THINGS IN LIFE FOR BETTER EVER LASTING POSITIVE, HEALTHY, HAPPY AND PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIPS FOR LIFE TIME.
Therefore, kaliyug is telling and teaching us good things...only thing is we should be able to think, change and live!!
Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!
