Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL MARRIED AND UNMARRIED...especially those in the age group of 15 to 40 years of age...
We can classify the people in to three groups...
1. Most of us in the age group below about 60 years live in this group. These people mostly live a life which is centered around the lower two chakras...i.e below the diaphragm (i.e below the thoracic region)...This region consists mainly of the digestive system, gynaec system and excretory system. This region is mainly related to the PLEASURES of life. When you eat delicious food you feel and experience great highs. When you excrete you feel a great relief and feel the pleasure. When you indulge in recreational activities though the procreative organs...i.e gynaec system, then also you feel great pleasure, orgasm or elated feelings or enlightenment etc. The feelings of every one is different, but all are related to the PLEASURE, because it has the urge or craving to repeat the behaviours which are never ending till the systems become dysfunctional.
Their thoughts, feelings, habits, behaviours, life style, definition of life and day to day living is centered around learning cooking, or finding out the best eating joints, great varieties of foods, earning to eat at the best of the places, drinking or eating or breathing solids, liquids and gases which are PLEASURABLE...most of their talks or socialization are all about these stuff only...i.e eating, drinking, smoking, what we call as love which leads to physical intimacies and sex. They get attracted to people for their physical appearance, social status, wealth, money and fame for satiation of their wants, needs and expectations for body, mind and social needs.
People in this group also have their social belief systems like...education is for getting a good well paid job with authority and power in the society so that we can make lots of money, wealth, get all our pleasures, wants and needs satisfied, attain fame, fear value, socially respectable identity and image through the education and profession. Their social learning revolves around high ego development and satisfaction which is actually health compromising.
These people are dependent more on others for getting their body needs met. So, they indulge in vigorous socialization, especially with opposite sex, to gain physical and mental proximity to meet their recreational needs as explained above. They have high needs, wants and expectations from others.
So, they suffer a lot with disappointments, sadness, frustration, anger, possessiveness, obsession, addiction to people-relationships-pleasurable solids, liquids and gases.
They suffer from all sorts of life style diseases like diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular diseases, mental disorders like depression, anxiety, physical-mental and social stresses within their own selves, at home, at office and in social situations.They can't live in peace, contentment and fulfillment in life. Their family life is a stressed one, may be failure too. Their love before or after marriage within or outside marriage may not be successful.
They can't give caring, supporting, unconditionally, devotionally giving a total freedom environment. ie they can't love people unconditionally. Therefore, they will miserably fail in love in some domain or the other, as their selfish love is based on satiation of own needs, wants and expectations for self motives, vested interests, pleasure based etc.
Mostly they base their profession on body. But even highly educated and those who lead a profession based on brain also live a family, social and personal life based on body and pleasures, below the abdomen...i.e lower chakras.
This is similar to animal life. All animals live a life like this. Based on eating and reproduction. So, all these people may not really love. They exhibit behaviours of caring and supporting to attract opposite sex for pleasures of physical intimacies and sex. They eat all foods that are arousing to taste buds and body...full of spices, oil (deep fried too) and animal food. So, they live an animal life, animal living, indulge in selfish animal sex of few minutes focused on orgasm and therefore, can never satisfy their girls, can never satisfy themselves too for a longer time, resulting in craving for physical intimacies and sex more often in a day, every day with all sorts of varieties beyond the comfort and knowledge zone of the other person. They are also emotionally high always with tantrums. I.e they experience extremes of emotions, multiple types of emotions and love feelings, within a short time and continuously, they are emotional-volcanoes, they may not hesitate to do anything to get their needs and wants satisfied, including self harming to show and prove that they are loving the other person. They are highly insecure, with low self esteem, parasitic, feel lonely often, get sidelined to be alone, they most often perceive loss of trust with their loved ones, they are highly possessive, obsessive, addictive, suspective, sniffy, with policing behaviours. They don't believe their partners. They most of the time live in unreality and fantasies.
Their id state is always very high. Their ego and super ego states of logical analysis, reality living are low. They end up with legal issues, extramarital affairs or premarital sex for pleasures. Their life is body centric. They appear to go always by their heart and not by their brain and their heart always go behind the pleasure needs directly or indirectly, consciously or subconsciously. They think they are right, but their decisions lead to health compromising decisions...i.e those which affect their physical-mental and social well-being in a long run.
So, this is the reason why we are suffering in life.
2. There are some people within this age group who live a life of yoga asanas, meditation, healthy sleep cycle, healthy food cycle and eating habits, they do all sorts of healthy exercises for the body and mind, they play group games, they value people and relationships more than the divisive factors like religion, caste, language, race etc, they understand that every human being is defective in the eyes of others, so they accept every one as they are, they are able to regulate their hormone and neurotransmitter systems through their health enhancing life style, so, they have a stable, cool and calm body and mind, they are able to strike great relationships with people, they are loved by all, their body does not crave or urge, they are able to enjoy all kinds of foods, they don't have the urge to repeat the pleasurable thoughts, fantasies, feelings and behaviours, their body or mind accepts whenever the sources are available and willing, they are generally happy with their life, contented, fulfilled, they are able to live a great reproductive and rearing family life, they get attracted to people more for their overall personality traits rather than their physical appearance, mostly on the mind related issues of people, their human nature etc. They accept destiny as it is. They believe in karma.
These people mostly live a life based on the upper chakras ie above the diaphragm....this region consists of the brain-the processor, all the five sensors, heart and lungs. Their life is centered around breathe and philosophical thoughts. They are generally spiritual. Their life is based on multiple knowledge, skills, wisdom etc. Their perceptions are generally positive and aligned with the Nature. So, their life is not centered around eating, foods, sex, physical intimacies etc. They eat for survival and to remain healthy in body and mind. They indulge in tantric love, tantric sex, tantric physical intimacies, tantric life. So, they are always spiritually high. They remain attached and remain detached too. Their id state is always low. They are more in to reality and within the legal frame work. They have stable rearing emotions. They are responsible to self, family and society. They are not self centric. They don't have vested interests. They are emotionally stable.
In general, they are opposite of all those listed in the first category.
They live a human life and living based on brain, reality, happiness and anandha etc and not like an animal life and living based on pleasures.
They are able to live a satisfactory family life of reproduction and rearing.
In fact, this is the way we are supposed to live, basing the life on top four chakras for peaceful, healthy, happy, contented, fulfilled, self actualised life and living.
But we don't know how to live like this, many do not know that such a life is possible, therefore, they define life like above as in sl no. 1, and say 'Life is a battle. Life is full of happiness and sorrows etc etc.
3. Third category is like buddha, They are not interested in family and social life. They want to live alone. They are totally into spirituality. They are too philosophical. They live generally in isolated places like forests, hills and mountains, far away from civilization. They are unfit for a conventional and traditional family and married life. Such people need to identify themselves and tell their parents explicitly and remain away from marriage, else they will spoil life of their own self and that of another person. They live even without food. They remain alive eating foods in nature without any cooking or mild cooking. In general plant foods. They don't have the conventional and traditional attraction to people and relationships. They are same with all. They don't define relationships with people. They just talk and socialise. They are not attracted to anyone, except the Nature and divine. They have all the positives of both the above categories related to healthy body and mind. They will not have any of the negative and health compromising of the above.
Now...coming to the crux...
1. The first category is minus-infinity. The last category is the plus-infinity. The second state is zero.
2. All of us remain within this continuum somewhere.
3. During different ages we remain in different states of the above.
4. It is better to be at zero state from childhood.
5. It is better to move towards plus infinity during old ages.
6. We consider those at plus infinity during childhood itself as abnormal. But it is not so. They are those maharishi variety. They become spiritual gurus. They are the true gurus. As long as a person is able to do all his personal, offical and social chores, remain conscious and clear orientation, he or she is normal and healthy.
7. Those who are at the center between zero and plus infinity are the staggering varieties, who are confused or even clear (ha ...haa..haaa) between family life and total rishi status.
8. Being at minus-infinity is dangerous and health compromising in all domains of life and living.
9. We have early and late maturers depending upon their life experiences.
10. In married life, it is better to marry people in the same state in the continuum at least at the time of marriage. So, marry people of same age or same state of maturity or immaturity. As we age, mature and evolve one may be ahead and the other may be behind. so, they will find their spouse to be changed and different, not matching, not adaptable etc always. It is a continuous process. We will always find our spouse to be changing and different every five to eight years. It is Natural. It happens to all. We have to accept this. Or we have to age and mature and evolve fast to match with the spouse. It is not abnormal. Any one can remain in any of the above three states or anywhere in the continuum at any age. If we want people, if we want relationships, they we have to accept this Natural phenomenon, adapt, change and be with our people. Maturing with the other person is better than remaining immature.
11. A person who is ahead in the continuum will always feel the other person is immature. The person who is behind in the continuum will always find the other person as abnormal or unfit for family life or social living etc.
12. When we marry people of too much of difference in age (i.e state of maturity....unless the aged person is still not matured or the less aged person is matured) , then we have to accept that there will be large gap in their thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, expectations, definition of life and living, definition of parenting, definition in everything in life. So, they will have to do lots of compromises and sacrifices and have to exercise higher adaptation qualities for a peaceful married life.
13. The zero and plus infinity states are good for peaceful, healthy and successful living. We should be either close to zero or close to plus infinity. Remaining in between is a confused state criticized by the society. But it is a slow process in moving in the continuum and therefore we have to accept the transient states of instability while moving from one stable state to the other.
I can go on typing on these issues endlessly...ha.haa.haaa...
so, more later....or depending upon specific questions if any one has...
Peacefully yours....rams...Psychologist!!
