hai all...there is an issue in our community...big issue...tragic issue...
'girls and boys, after marriage, are told by their spouses to cut off the past friendships with opposite sex'
if not explicitly, they are given indications or behaviours or body gestures immediately after marriage or some months or years after marriage, to say bye bye to old friendships and also are indicated not to develop any new friendships with opposite sex.
This comes due to possessiveness. This leads to fear of losing the spouse physically or mentally or temporarily or permanently or losing the best and most times of the spouse in a day. This leads to spying, policing, suspecting and finally land up in breakage of marriage!!!
hmmmm....we have spouse on one side...great friends of life on the other side!!!
we are unable to give up and take a decision!...mostly give up on the friendships and it certainly affects our life at the mind level!!
even if a girl or a boy marries the best friend there are many equivalent or nearly best friends in life who can not be cut off just like that!!!...and it is a fact that one person only is not sufficient in life for everything and we need to talk to many people for various other things of happiness.
We don't consider the spouses to be the best friends. This is the reason why we lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve talking to friends any time in life more and better than talking to the spouse. We derive more happiness in talking to friends rather than talking to our spouse.
It is also important that we select the true friends who are genuine, not possessive, not expecting, giving happiness and peace to us both in their presence and absence, not exploiting...i.e loving us truly for the sake of what we are....
friendship is the basis of any relationship...any relationship where 'friendship' is not the base, it will lose its meaning and will remain only for name sake and for the sake of society only!
Any one who loves only one on earth will certainly fall mentally sick and this itself is a symptom of sickness! (by the way, by love i don't mean that has 'sex' in it or possessing a body or mind in it!!)
many feel lonely...many feel 'rejection'...many feel depressed...all this because they have only one person with whom they are totally parasitic for their all types of physical, mental and social wellbeing....
the truth is....
1. the whole world is produced by nature or god for us only
2. all living organisms and all world population are created for us
3. it is we who restrict ourselves to just one and put up ourselves in closed bottle and feel suffocated
i reiterate, i don't mean 'sexing with all'....it only means showing positive emotions to all...to make them feel 'when i think about him, when i see him, i feel like living and not leaving this earth!!'...this is what i mean as love or loving all in the world!!
marriage to one person is just a living method to ensure that the life continues on earth, we put our body and mind to use for the reason to which they have been created, we don't get any diseases of not being put to use (e.g cancers related to reproductive system) etc...
so, the crux is....
1. let us come out of this old culture of be parasitic to only one for everything
2. encourage every one to love all ...or at least give freedom to our spouse to enjoy their old friends...if not making new friends...
3. killing many relationships to water one is not possible in the years to come
let us understand this and be happy, healthy and peaceful.
rams- psychologist and sociologist
'girls and boys, after marriage, are told by their spouses to cut off the past friendships with opposite sex'
if not explicitly, they are given indications or behaviours or body gestures immediately after marriage or some months or years after marriage, to say bye bye to old friendships and also are indicated not to develop any new friendships with opposite sex.
This comes due to possessiveness. This leads to fear of losing the spouse physically or mentally or temporarily or permanently or losing the best and most times of the spouse in a day. This leads to spying, policing, suspecting and finally land up in breakage of marriage!!!
hmmmm....we have spouse on one side...great friends of life on the other side!!!
we are unable to give up and take a decision!...mostly give up on the friendships and it certainly affects our life at the mind level!!
even if a girl or a boy marries the best friend there are many equivalent or nearly best friends in life who can not be cut off just like that!!!...and it is a fact that one person only is not sufficient in life for everything and we need to talk to many people for various other things of happiness.
We don't consider the spouses to be the best friends. This is the reason why we lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve talking to friends any time in life more and better than talking to the spouse. We derive more happiness in talking to friends rather than talking to our spouse.
It is also important that we select the true friends who are genuine, not possessive, not expecting, giving happiness and peace to us both in their presence and absence, not exploiting...i.e loving us truly for the sake of what we are....
friendship is the basis of any relationship...any relationship where 'friendship' is not the base, it will lose its meaning and will remain only for name sake and for the sake of society only!
Any one who loves only one on earth will certainly fall mentally sick and this itself is a symptom of sickness! (by the way, by love i don't mean that has 'sex' in it or possessing a body or mind in it!!)
many feel lonely...many feel 'rejection'...many feel depressed...all this because they have only one person with whom they are totally parasitic for their all types of physical, mental and social wellbeing....
the truth is....
1. the whole world is produced by nature or god for us only
2. all living organisms and all world population are created for us
3. it is we who restrict ourselves to just one and put up ourselves in closed bottle and feel suffocated
i reiterate, i don't mean 'sexing with all'....it only means showing positive emotions to all...to make them feel 'when i think about him, when i see him, i feel like living and not leaving this earth!!'...this is what i mean as love or loving all in the world!!
marriage to one person is just a living method to ensure that the life continues on earth, we put our body and mind to use for the reason to which they have been created, we don't get any diseases of not being put to use (e.g cancers related to reproductive system) etc...
so, the crux is....
1. let us come out of this old culture of be parasitic to only one for everything
2. encourage every one to love all ...or at least give freedom to our spouse to enjoy their old friends...if not making new friends...
3. killing many relationships to water one is not possible in the years to come
let us understand this and be happy, healthy and peaceful.
rams- psychologist and sociologist
No comments:
Post a Comment