Dear all...AN IMPORTANT POST FOR ALL SCHOOL AND COLLEGE STUDENTS....I find many students from college, school and even grown ups working in organisations feeling down that their friends have left them, lovers have left them, besties have vanished and gone above the clouds, etc....they feel 'My person has forgotten me!...He (or she) has new friends, lovers, besties!!!' etc...today is an age of 'Explosion of Socialisation' through Social Media and other methods.
So, every one has or had or will have many friends, lovers, lusts. Change of places leads to change of social environment too. New friends. New acquaintances. Some become besties. Some good friends or lovers or what ever relationship you perceive and name it as!...Like this the life goes on and on!
Today and for ever now RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE TURBULENT DYNAMICS AND NOT STATIC!!
This is a fact of life and we have to accept it!
So, even exploiters of relationships will flourish now and future as there are enough singles and groups to hop on to and live in the entire earth!
Every one wants variety in every thing including relationships. Every relationship lasts only for some time intensely. After that it remains at the same intensity level or less or negligible too (may be in our perception!).
Every one perceives what they want or what sort of relationship they need or what needs they have in a relationship. As the needs change, relationships change, intensities change, time-emotions-energy and any other resource spent in a relationship also changes.
So, everything boils down to what i keep saying as the key word in our life and living.... 'PERCEPTION'...our own perception of relationships...our own definitions....our own world that we have carved with others in our lives....that is what matters to us...only that is going to give us peace, happiness and good health.
So, who loves us immaterial....as the intensities, levels etc might change after some time. We can not control the other person. We don't have any control over the people around that person and their relationships with that person. We don't have any control over the physical environment of that person. We don't have any control over the needs and mind of that person. So, it is utterly useless to base our love, happiness, peace, contentment, mental health etc on the behaviours of others with us.
Also we keep always measuring, calculating, imaging, giving meaning to the behaviours, weighing, comparing our people and their relationships with us. This can never ever lead to peace, happiness, good mental and social well-being and longevity in relationships.
We need to understand the difference between love and lust. Lust is 'from others to us' i.e all our needs...what we expect from others. This is for the body, money, wealth and other material and other resources one has. Love is 'caring for the other person'. From us to others. Lust will give short lived pleasures which will make us to crave all the time and remain like hungry animals and make us to keep hopping. Love will give happiness, peace and good health. So, one might love you and may not lust. One might lust or may not love. Or one might both love and lust. And all these may not lost long for entire life!!
However much love you pour in can become of no value, because what other person values is based on his or her needs at that time.
so...so...so...the crux is...
Don't bother about how many friends, how many besties and how many lovers your person has. Don't keep judging, measuring and defining the relationship or love. What ultimately keeps us in good stay is whether WE love or not, what perceptions WE have, what intensities WE have is what is going to give us peace, happiness, pleasures, contentment or what ever you say you want in a relationship. That is why only DEVOTEE kind of relationship remains for ever. That is, our relationship with the other person will remain for ever irrespective of whether the other person's relationship with us will remain or not or what level etc.
Possessiveness, control, demand, expectations, our own definitions of relationships and love in traditional ways only can lead to disasters of our life and living!!
The entire earth is our home. All human beings are for us and we are for every one!!
There are thousands of posts like this researching every micros and nano of life, relationships and living in my blog.
Peacefully yours...rams....Health Psychologist!!
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