THIS IS FOR ALL WHO HAVE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES IN LIFE....

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL WHO HAVE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES IN LIFE...

Human beings are social animals. Though we have evolved from animals, our socialization is much more complex than animals due to our complex brain...complex mind formed out of it...this complicates our life...makes it miserable...makes us to lose peace, happiness, good health and social relationships. Probably if we had the simple brain like the animals, life would have been simple.

Unfortunately we have been taught from the time we are born that 'he is your father...she is your mother...she is your sister...he is your brother...he is your uncle...he is your friend' etc.

People around have named each relationship between us and others specifically. Based on gender too. Many relationships are gender specific and can not be mixed. This relationship is a social status. We, by default, understand the relationships in a way we understand during growth. We form certain expectations, faiths, 'he should be like this...she should be like this...i expect him or her to behave like this...i expect him or her not to behave like this...etc'...Society also has defined all these in specific ways with dos and don'ts. We also perceive some of them matching with the definitions of the society and some beyond the society definitions!!

Family relationships are by default and the society has defined the sets of rules, regulations, duties and responsibilities, expectations etc. But truly EVERYTHING DEPENDS UPON THE SOCIAL DYNAMICS BETWEEN US AND OTHERS IN REALITY AND PERCEPTION...THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE FORMED OR PERCEIVED WITH THE OTHER PERSON...HOW WE UNDERSTAND THE OTHER PERSON AND THE RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE FORMED WITH THE OTHER PERSON...THE KIND OF FULFILLMENT OF EXPECTATIONS PERCEIVED BY US...THE EXTENT OF EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS WE HAVE FORMED WITHIN US IN A RELATIONSHIP...THE KIND OF COMPROMISES AND SACRIFICES WE HAVE WILLINGLY SHARED WITH THE OTHER PERSON OR WE HAVE PERCEIVED FROM THE ACTIONS OF THE OTHER PERSON...OUR PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND SOCIAL DEPENDENCIES ON THE OTHER PERSON...FINANCIAL, LEGAL AND OTHER DEPENDENCIES TOO...

For a good mental health and peace one requires all kinds of relationships that we have known off....in perception or reality or in fantasies...but every one does not get people who can help to perceive true, trust worthy, reliable, life long relationships...all the kinds of relationships...every one is not permanent throughout our lives...

So, many perceive many kinds of relationships with one or more people on earth...i.e perceive more than one relationships with the same person with or without sex...e.g one can be wife, mother and sister too. Relationships we perceive are not based on gender. e.g a man can be perceived for a motherly relationship (generally mother is a female).

Though we are taught to form relationships based on age, we do form or perceive relationships beyond age also. e.g a female can perceive elderly aged husband as a child also.

So, in totality, we decide what kind or extent of relationship or relationships we form or perceive with others in reality or fantasies to fulfill our needs and wants. Relationships may or may not depend upon the social dynamics between us and others. Our mind forms relationships for it to remain in peace.

The body is formed by nature. The brain is a natural part of the body. The mind that is formed truly out of nature forms a 'relationship' that actually has no name...it just forms to remain at peace!!

NATURE HAS NOT FORMED OR NAMED THE RELATIONSHIPS. WE HAVE ONLY NAMED THEM. NATURE TRULY DOES NOT IMPOSE RESTRICTIONS. THE BODY AND MIND OF NATURE ACCEPTS EVERYTHING THAT IS NATURAL. EVERYTHING CREATED BY NATURE WILL REMAIN FOREVER. ANYTHING MAN MADE OR CREATED BY US WILL NOT GIVE US PEACE. IT CAN PROBABLY GIVE ONLY A TEMPORARY FEELING OF GOODNESS CALLED PLEASURE. IT WILL NOT ALLOW US TO LIVE IN REALITY AS PER NATURE. IT BECOMES ARTIFICIAL AND ANYTHING THAT IS ARTIFICIAL WILL NOT GIVE US PEACE, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT AND FULFILLMENT FOREVER. THEREFORE, ANYTHING THAT IS CREATED BY HUMAN BEINGS WILL VANISH OVER A PERIOD OF TIME AS THEY DO NOT ALLOW PEOPLE TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY.

E.g a person who has not perceived his mother as mother can not be forced to perceive his mother as mother. In true spirits, the relationships are not by default, they are perceptions of the individual!!

A sister who has perceived her brother as the ultimate human being on earth, for perception of all kinds of relationships, can not be separated from her brother on the name of marriage, naming new relationships in his or her life!!...It can not give her or the brother peace and harmony.

In general, any relationship that does not involve sex in reality or in fantasies is to an extent accepted or negotiable or understandable by us or by society. It need not necessarily be, because, time, attention, energy, money and wealth sharing become elements of possessiveness between two people!!

Truly sex does not last long between any two people and the relationship sustains only if there is an attachment, stable and life long commonness in thinking, beliefs, needs, wants, expectations, definition of life etc, valuing the person or the relationship beyond all materialistic things on earth from the both the people concerned!!...Otherwise no relationship lasts for life time in true sense, whether it is default or created!!

So, peace and harmony exists only between two people or in a family or amongst a group of people who have formed or perceived relationships and inter-dependencies when we understand all these and accept that NATURE RULES...NATURE WINS...WE ARE PART OF NATURE...BODY AND MIND ARE BEYOND SOCIAL NORMS...ALL SOCIAL NORMS ARE FORMED BY US...IF THEY ARE AGAINST THE NATURE, THEN THEY CAN NOT RESULT IN PEACE, HAPPINESS AND LONGEVITY OF RELATIONSHIPS OR PEACE OR HEALTH OR LIFE...

So...the issue is...there is a need to understand that naming relationships is against nature...it can not allow one or people concerned to live in peace and happiness. If people are able to form or perceive relationships within social norms, then it is fine. The issue comes only when such are formed beyond social norms. In reality, every one forms a relationship in his or her entire life time with some one or something living or non living (existing or non existing) in reality or in fantasies, temporarily or permanently a relationship that is beyond social norms!!...That is how the NATURE's mind is for it to exist in peace and good health!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!