from particle physics to romantic relationships, love, affairs, rape, sexual abuse...life and living!!!

hai guys and gals!...how are we?

today i had a dream...

you know what came in my dream?...

it appears that i am a 'particle physics' scientist...i am doing research on the 'dynamics of electron in electromagnetic fields'...looks like there are many hurdles in the research...and i found out a path breaking behaviour of electron in such 'affecting' fields of electromagnetic energy...

all news papers flashing the news on head lines saying 'ramasubramanian's path breaking findings in the behaviour of electrons in electromagnetic energy fields'.

lots of big big long long equations i have written on the green wall board...

i am showing a video of movement of an electron...in a big auditorium...in front of many scientists...an international forum.....the entire audience silently watching the movie sitting at the tip of their seats as if climax of a thriller movie is going on!

the video on the screen shows an electron moving in slow motion...of course, with a thriller music in the background...ha..haa..haaa!!!...it enters in to a field of electro magnetic energy...it's movement with changes in direction, magnitude of velocity all seen...and there is a computer constantly updating and analyzing the trace...while it converts the path into equations, calculates, interprets, gives out the results etc...the electron moves...at one point its movement gets frozen by the computer...it shows some equation...and the whole audience clap their hands with a thundering applause!!!...looks like this is the break through moment and the equation....woffff!...what that damn thing is???...i could not see it myself in my dreams!!!

suddenly i find some one shaking me violently and shouting  'It is 6 am. You are getting late to go to office!'...when i woke up it was my wife and i came to reality to realise that it was only a dream!!...hihihi...in the dream i only can make out that something i have done and the whole world is appreciating...i tried to recollect to find what that damn new things is...Alas! i could not!...as truly nothing was found!!!!...i can only make out that the findings, in the form of equations, are matching with the experimental proof and results of simulation too.

during my college days also my dad used to ask me when i get up "hey what happened?...you were blabbering something in your dreams in the night?'...i used to get scared if they are the names of some girls etc...first time i asked 'what?...what did i blabber?'...he said 'some thing like 'transister!' ...i thanked my stars saying 'woff! thank god. I only mentioned about sisters!' ...and thanked god for not blabbering about 'transformers' which transform 'sisters' into 'lovers' in college life!!!

thank you guys and gals for laughing your heart out!...now let us discuss about some issues of the heart!!!

rape, sex, romantic relationships,  love, life, affairs...the list goes on...i picked up these as they are hitting the news every day and also they play a havoc in our lives sparing no one!!! (i can see you feeling shy to read on...but give it a try to read!)

though each of them are oceans with respect to the knowledge contained within, let us dwell a bit in this post...rest we will keep discussing in the future posts....

rape...it is not a medical diagnosis...it is only a legal definition...when one attempts to have sex with another with out his or her consent...of course, no one has any right to disturb anyone sexually...

but the reality is, every second, even this second when you are reading this post  thousand sexual abuses are occurring all over the world...whether it is night or day at any part of the world...at this very second some girl or boy is getting raped! (news papers report at least one rape or sexual abuse in tamil nadu every day!...you can imagine in the whole world!!!)

i have enclosed some knowledge on types of rapes and intention of rapes in

((....))bracket below...in yellow colour...if you want you can read...or else jump...

((rape is done as an expression of anger...For these rapists, sex is a weapon to defile and degrade the victim, rape constitutes the ultimate expression of their anger. This rapist considers rape the ultimate offense they can commit against the victim. It is characterized by physical brutality, much more physical force is used during the assault than would be necessary if the intent were simply to overpower the victim and achieve penetration. This type of offender attacks their victim by grabbing, striking and knocking the victim to the ground, beating them, tearing their clothes, and raping them.

it is done as an expression of power...rape becomes a way to compensate for  underlying feelings of inadequacy and feeds the issues of mastery, control, dominance, strength, intimidation, authority and capability. The intent of the power rapist is to assert his competency. The power rapist relies upon verbal threats, intimidation with a weapon, and only uses the amount of force necessary to subdue the victim.

rape can be sadistic rape also...rapists have a sexual association with anger and power so that aggression and the infliction of pain itself is eroticized. For this rapist, sexual excitement is associated with the inflicting of pain upon their victim. The offender finds the intentional maltreatment of their victim intensely gratifying and takes pleasure in the victim's torment, pain, anguish, distress, helplessness, and suffering; he/she finds the victim's struggling with him/her to be an erotic experience.Sadistic rape usually involves extensive, prolonged torture and restraint. Sometimes it can take on ritualistic or other bizarre qualities. The rapist may use some type of instrument or foreign object to penetrate his/her victim. Sexual areas of the victim's body become a specific focus of injury or abuse.

next is gang rape..gang rape, are predominantly committed by young men. Sexual aggression is often a defining characteristic of manhood in the group and is significantly related to the wish to be held in high esteem.))

so, rape is a negative behaviour. It affects positively (for the time being till legal and social issues start affecting him) to the rapist...and negatively to the victim...

Is it in our hands to avoid a rape?...yes...it is in our hands. Mostly by not provoking others sexually...in dressing...in behaviours of talking, writing and other behavioural expressions and emotions...

To an extent it is not in our hands also...inspite of all the best behaviours, one can get raped by anyone...in this case it depends upon the mental and physical health of the rapist...in such cases what to do?...the physical damage, the possibility of disease infliction (AIDS and STDs), mental damage, social damage?...how to compensate that?...the prolonged, may be life long, legal issues or battles if we take it up to the legal forum...

one porn actress says consider rape as a 'surprise sex' and forget it...though it appears to be a wrong way of taking it, but i think it is a right way of perception to make negatives of life into positives and get the life going without such an incident affecting our happiness, health and success in life! (i can see all the girls throwing their chappals at me!)

sexual abuse is a less physical and more of a mental form of disturbance...it could involve a less intensity physical form also...

why men involve in sexual abuse of women?

let us, for the time being, forget about everything on earth...let us go back by about 10,000 years...if we look at the world that time, we had only living things and  non living things...

amongst the living beings there is no separation like human beings and other animals...nature does not differentiate like that...

non living things changed their shape, looks and size due to weathering...living beings changed due to aging...the primary functions in which they were involved were

1. eating, sleeping

2. searching for food

3. protecting from threats of nature and other living organisms

4. reproduction

let us now come back to the present...we may be doing many things in life...but these four basic activities of living beings have always remained and will ever remain as long as life is on earth!!

so, one among the four, reproduction, affects our lives in all spheres.

the biggest problem is, nature does not want one living being to resemble the other...so, Darwin's variation theory...this makes one living organism to select multiple sex partners...

it also has made the male organism to spend most of its time and behaviors consciously or sub consciously towards reproduction...nature has produced it to be always ready for reproduction...where as it has produced the female organism 'not to be' in the reproductive state of mind when the body is not ready for it (e.g pregnancy)...of course, we have few violated cases too...

this has resulted in rapes, sexual abuses, emotional or romantic relationships, love, affairs (when it happens out of the social or legal system) etc...

so, they will never get eradicated as they are driven by nature...only thing is they can only turn into consensual behaviours when the male and female organism handshake with each other, agree and involve in these...

the other issue is nature does not want weak organisms here...it only wants strong and healthy organisms, at least when the womb forms...it also knows that in the entire phase of life from birth to death, any organism is fertile for reproduction only at a certain phase in life...the youth or early adult phase...so, it has given all the beauty, glow and fluttering behaviours during this phase so that it attracts the opposite sex for reproduction, whether it consciously likes or wants it or not...as male organism is always ready for reproduction during entire phase of adult and elderly adult life, it gets attracted to the youthful phase of female organism...so, this is the reason for all sexual abuses, rapes, affairs, romantic relationships, love etc between older males and younger females...

most of the pages of news papers in india are covered with all such issues as they are sensational and against the ethical living in india.

so, 'variety' and 'strong / healthy off-springs' has created most of the issues we see around us in the society.

Why they become known to others and sensational?

nature has given us 'possessiveness' and 'expectations' which are contradictory to the 'variety' and 'strong / healthy off-springs'. So, we keep fighting with each other at home and in society because of rape, sexual abuse, emotional relationships (romantic), love, affairs etc...and therefore, sources of happiness become sources of deep sorrow  and conflicts in life!...and we can not live without love, emotions, sexual feelings etc. So, every human being born in this earth can not escape from some of these.

Why it is a big issue in india?

in our country the philosophy of life is...

1. one man one woman

2. whether it is sex or love or romantic relationship or emotional relationship...it has to be only with spouse and not with any other person of opposite or same sex.

3. sex is a sacred act that it should be used only for reproduction and not for recreation or faking.

4. happiness in life is all about being with the family members and relatives sharing all sorts of happy or sorrow emotions, resources, enjoying festivals, rituals, ceremonies etc.

so, it has a sort of 'control' in behaviours, though nature is pulling every one away from these indian way of living behaviours.

However, it has given a regulatory mechanism of living through yoga, meditation, asanas, vegetarian food, staple food, no spices, no animal food etc...i.e basically regulating all that goes inside the MOUTH and MIND so that body and brain are not pulled by the wishes of the nature, which can affect social living.

But are we living this way?

So, there are always conflicts in the mind of the human being whether in india or outside consciously or out of consciousness i.e without our knowledge. Therefore, we are always stressed mildly or strongly ....consciously or with out consciousness...in body and mind!!!

sex....woffff! this three letter word has driven the lives of human beings to madness.

the characteristics of sex are:-

1. it is always there in the happy mind and healthy body all the time visibly or invisibly. So, it directs the body towards satisfying the need whenever possible. Does any one teach any living organism to find its mate and how to mate?...as the organism grows, as the body parts grow and mature, these urges and feelings emerge automatically.

2. the desire for this never vanishes as long as the body and mind are sound. In some cases with just a healthy body and disturbed mind also this dominates. One might think 'only once', but it only increases the urge for it. Why?...because nature is the unbeatable master of this universe!...it wants life to multiply. It does not want any organism to live for ever. So, it has made the organism to indulge in behaviours which can kill it too (e.g sexual diseases like AIDS, STDs, all types of wrong eating behaviours (alcoholism, smoking etc), sedentary life styles, pollutions etc)!

3. One illegal sex (e.g rape) can put the life out of gear and screw up the entire life of a person.

4. No living sexually reproductive organism can escape from this.

5. As it is a need of the body, it does not see circumstances, consequences, shame, status etc. It blankets the brain. Only the 'id' need is up and the 'ego' and 'superego' components are masked. That is why elderly people, people from high society and authority etc mess up their lives.

6. It drives people mad and animal like. It drives people towards opposite sex for relationships. These relationships lead to all problems in life. So, happiness, health and success in life gets screwed.

so, it is not worth to develop relationships with people with 'sex' as the intention...whether it is the only intention or one among the intentions!

How to know what is our intention  in a relationship with opposite sex, when we are attracted or pulled towards a person of opposite sex?

if our observation remains focused or anchored on body and issues related to body (e.g style) then it is only sexual attraction...if it is anchored on matching personality traits, intellect etc then probably yes...it may not be for sex...sex might (or night not) form a minuscule part of such a relationship...but in case sex becomes a reason for unhappiness  in such a relationship then it is only for sex or one among the reasons of the relationship...so, it is then not a relationship free from sex...so, it might not give happiness...

any relationship where sex does not matter, only matching personality traits matter, no expectations, no possessiveness, then such a relationship is likely to give happiness, good health and success forever. Any relationship where sex matters, forget about the other things like expectations or possessiveness etc, it is certainly not going to give happiness for ever!!!!

how to find out whether it is body attraction or not?

ask yourself if that girl of ravishing beauty will be liked by you if she turns fat pumpkin, where the looks will vanish?

ask if you will love that girl if all the body features of shape, size, youthfulness etc will vanish and she will look like a 90 year old lady with wrinkles all over her body?

can you name one film in which the heroine is 60 year old lady and it is a movie with love theme?...all heroines are between 17 to 35 years age...and all are shown with the best beauty on screen. So, we fall in love with youthfulness, beauty, shapes, sizes, curves, etc which are not permanent. The mismatching personality traits will be compromised by us to enjoy this beauty. After the beauty goes all the unadaptable personality traits will stand in front like monsters and the relationship will come to an end...

all those who fall in love with a heroine in a movie will love only till her beauty remains...after they get married or change their shapes, they are not liked by the person...he switches over to the next youthful heroine...

so, having known all the devastating characteristics of sex, it is not worth to make it our center of life and living.

In indian scenario, sex is given such a great importance and hype, and therefore, the problems...in traditional indian way of life, sex is the centre of all types of happiness and living...it decides how one should live or develop relationships with opposite sexes.

traditional indian way of living is birth-puberty-marriage-child rearing-marriage of children-rearing of grandchildren-death. It is clearly seen in this way of living that love and sex is center of life.

in a life where birth-pursuing passion i.e focus on subject (could be art also) of interest-learning-being with nature-enjoying all art forms-serve others-death, sex is not the center of life and living. This form of life might have all the above. But all the above are not the center of focus in this way of living.

Most of the behaviours including love, sex, rape etc etc are the result of status of brain...the secretions in brain...brain drives the body towards these...nature drives the brain...of course, i do agree that body through its sensors also capture the inputs from the environment and drives the brain towards liking behaviours...so, both body and brain drive each other...

we can defy nature to an extent...we can make the brain to listen to us...by regulating the inputs to MOUTH and MIND...

so,

1. eat natural vegetarian food so that urges and drives are less, easy to regulate or even to control.

2. bring in yoga, asanas, meditation, exercises etc become a culture in life like brushing, bathing etc.

3. develop relationships free from romance and sex. Identify the reasons for getting 'attracted' to the other person. In a relationship where sex exists, identify if it really matters. If matters, then even husband and wife relationships will suffer and exist only for society sake.

4. try to live within the legal and social framework. Or else change your social frame work or the legal aspects of your land where you live...i.e migrate.

5. any behaviour related to sex can throw your life out of shape and make it miserable.

6. any life where sex does not matter and pursuing the passion matters will be filled with happiness, good health and success. In such life love might exist. But it will not be centered on sex.

7. in a life defined as 'birth-puberty-marriage-child rearing-marriage of children-rearing of grandchildren-death', sex is the center of focus, as it is the behaviour required for reproduction. This may not give happiness, good health and success...all three always.

8. in a life defined as 'birth- life full of pursuing passion i.e focus on subject (could be art also) of interest - learning - being with nature - enjoying all art forms - serve others - death'...sex is not focus...and the inherent love in life makes it happy, healthy and successful...this does not mean the life will not have things at para 7.

9. unregulated sexual behaviours (e.g rape) can spoil the entire life...forget about happiness, good health and success!!...(Note: i have not said 'controlled'...as control indicates that we have stimulated and thereafter trying to control).

woffff...the post has become too long...so, i stop here, and we kiss the topic again later with new information...bye...

keep rocking!

rams...for more visit funnyrams.blogspot.com