Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL UNMARRIED...
Every unmarried person has unlimited freedom...entire time for self...entire money and energy for self...they can plan and do anything at any time...entire world and earth is theirs...no doubts!!
But moment they are in a committed relationship, inside marriage or outside marriage, they are not free...they don't have unlimited freedom...they will have to spare their time for the other person in their life...they should be ready to spare money, energy and time for the other person...they may not be able to plan and do anything anytime...entire world and earth are not completely theirs...they need to share...they will be required to do compromises and sacrifices in almost everything in their life!!...
Only when a person is ready to do the above, then that person becomes qualified or matured enough to enter into committed relationships. Otherwise a person is not ready. They should have strong spine to tell...convince...make understand their parents...that they are not ready for marriage or committed relationships yet.
They themselves also need to understand that they are unfit for committed relationships even before marriage!!
Marriage means making a family which means our freedom in everything gets limited.
Because anything used should be maintained and anything not maintained will wear out, break or lose its life or leave us....person may not leave, but the relationship will weaken...or break or vanish or disappear in reality...physically or emotionally!!
Similarly going ahead for a child requires further readiness...willingness...or maturity to understand the complexity one is entering into in life. Going ahead with a child means the husband and wife should remain committed in making a peaceful family at least till the child becomes 20 years old...so that the child's growth and development is without any damages...they can leave the relationship only when the child is matured enough to understand that they are not compatible with each other. Otherwise the development of the child is surely to get affected in some domain or mental faculty or the other!!
So, before entering into decision to have a child, both should get convinced that they can live together for another 20 years!!...Also both should be ready to spare a lot of time, energy, money, emotions, caring, sacrifices, compromises for the child in growing, grooming the child to a confident, matured, grownup adult. Otherwise, they should not go ahead with a child!!
So, don't get married or go ahead with a child production just to satisfy the oldies at home...Don't spoil your life, the life of another person, and the life of an innocent child, who can take birth for parents who can give the required money, time, energy for that baby!!
Peacefully yours...rams...Psychologist!!
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