Dear all...ONE QUESTION...ONE ANSWER...
Qn. "I am 29 and i am feeling old. Everyone keeps telling me i am old..old...old....!!...Makes me feel depressed and sad!!"
"Some also tell me i am black, dark, have wrinkles, fat, no-neck, no-hip, i am not beautiful!! and they remain away from me!..So feel lonely and isolated!!'
Ans. It is a relative term. Comparative term. For a five months old infant, 01 year old is elder and oldie. For a 01 year old, 05 year old is elder and oldie. For a 05 year old, 10 year old is elder and oldie. For you, i am elder and oldie. But i am younger compared to my father. We feel young when we compare ourselves with people older than us and we feel older when we compare people younger than us.
Therefore, age is absolute and Aging is a feeling. If we feel aged, by comparing with youngsters, then we will age faster physically and mentally, biologically and behaviourally, get all the age related behaviours, ailments, disorders, diseases, become dead and energy-less, become demotivated and depressed. Society might expect 'age related behaviours, emotions, and thoughts' from us. e.g supposed to move slow and be egoistic. But it could steal off your happiness and bubbling energy and make you really become old and feel old too. It can make you socially isolated, as people mingle with only people of their age...i.e people who have thoughts, feelings and behaviours like them...like people of their age. If we move around with people who feel they are old, then they will suck us too inside with rigid thoughts, old philosophies, dead concepts, obsolete beliefs etc. But if we feel young, think, feel and behave like youngsters and move around with people younger than us then we will be flexible, adapt, enjoy, be surrounded by people always. The old society might feel odd, but it is up to us whether we want to die old or live young!
Every one ages differently. No two people of same age appear same in thoughts, feelings, behaviours, beliefs etc. We all have one head, two hands, two legs...so the counts of body parts are same...but the way they function and age are different. So, calendar age may be same, but the biological and social age may be different.
So, aging is in the mind. Always be with people younger than you. Think young. Think like youngsters. Experience and express feelings of joy like young people. Don't control and exhibit socially acceptable feelings and behaviours. Don't act. Be natural. Natural is feeling young and baby like. Nature drives us to be irresponsible, innocent, feel lighter, feel young and child like. But we think we are old and should exhibit commensurate feelings, mobility etc, fear struck, cautious, suspect, and screw our happiness, enjoyment and fun. We die our moments and seconds and do not live.
Beauty!!...Is it to do with the appearance?...Appearance can be either physically arousing or mentally arousing or mentally calming. It causes positive or negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours depending upon the condition and state of our body, mind, beliefs etc and it has no connectivity to the object or the other person. Beauty or ugly or arousing lies in the eyes of the beholder. So, let us not blame girls if they are dressed less or improperly or inappropriately in our perception, let us blame our body condition, condition of our mind and our own beliefs, prejudices, heuristics etc.
Another thing is physical appearance is not permanent. Shapes, curves, contours, shines, sizes...all vanish in no time. They are temporary ranging from few days, or months or few years. But relationships have to be life long for peace, happiness and good mental, physical and social well-being. Everyone likes if they are able to arouse others with their physical appearance. Every one likes those who can arouse them. But how long they can arouse with the varying physical appearance and sustain a relationship based on such satiation of needs, wants and expectations of pleasure domain?...
Personality traits also can be arousing, which can be maintained throughout the life. Every one wants Mother relationship for life time. Every one wants Sister relationship also for life time which is more of friendship based. No relationship can remain life long if it lacks the backbone of friendship. Many motherly wives are also able to arouse their husbands and vice versa is also true. One should not lose the arousal value, only by physical appearance alone one cannot arouse another person for life long, personality traits are the safe bet which can be maintained for life long. Being innocent, childish, young...i.e dwelling in child ego mostly, rather than adult or parent ego...is arousing and beautiful. Innocence is always beautiful. All children are innocent, pure, not adulterated with 'social poisons' and so are beautiful, calming and divine. But an adult girl or aged lady who is innocent, childlike also can arouse and appear beautiful.
A person who is 20 years old with negative thoughts, emotions and behaviours will appear old and ugly...not beautiful and attractive...not a good human being...not sociable and worthy of any relationship. A person who is sad and energy-less also does not attract anyone. All these people appear aged and not beautiful. Whereas a middle aged lady or an old fat lady or an old man with wrinkles with positive energies, full of radiance, full of innocence and child like feelings and behaviours with true unconditional care and support are beautiful and arousing. So, positive thoughts, positive feelings, positive energies, similar to the characters of film heroes and heroines...being bubbly bubbly...innocent...full of positive energy always...full of unconditional motherly love...like Mother Theresa...is beautiful, attractive and arousing.
Therefore, in summation, AGE AND BEAUTY REMAINS IN PERSONALITY TRAITS AND POSITIVE ENERGY AND NOT IN PHYSICAL APPEARANCE!!
Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!
No comments:
Post a Comment