'I am 29 years old. Am I really old for marriage?'

Dear all...ONE QUESTION....ONE ANSWER...

Qn. My mother keeps killing me saying 'You are getting aged. I am going to get you married!!'. But i don't want to. I am 29 years old. Am i really old for marriage?'

Ans: 150 years back 'child marriage' was the practice and custom. So, anyone more than 10 years of age probably was considered older for marriage.

Then 10 to 13 was considered as the age for marriage and anyone older than 15 was probably considered as 'old' for marriage and less than 10 may be was considered 'young' for marriage.

Then came 18 and anyone less than this is considered too young for marriage and anyone older than 21 is considered as 'nearing old' for marriage and more than 25 or 30 is being considered as 'old' for marriage.

So, this is relative. It changes from time to time as society evolves with the changes around.

In each stage of change, there will be a transient period, during which some individual or society will remain to be primitive and suffer.

Earlier there was not much oppurtunity for everyone for education and job. Today, every child is driven hard from LKG to Graduation (21 years) to be an achiever in various domains of life. This happens between 21 to 30. So, world is moving towards 30 as the right time for marriage.

Also, one can get married at any age from 18 onwards and it is individual's choice. We can't forcefully say that 'X' is the right age for marriage. Every one's definition of life, marriage, success, achievement, family etc is different and they go by that. Everyone's life is different and every definition of life has positives, negatives, true, false, right, wrong, good, bad in the perception of others. We have to do what is right, good, true, positive for us and keep moving.

One should have a strong backbone to explain to parents, talk over many sittings, explain, expose them, change them, convince them, take them along on-board, make them feel 'my child's happiness and peace is priority for me and she (or he) is right!'.

So, the crux is...

1. It is better to marry only when we have the inclination. Old concepts of 'everything can happen same time!' will not work out as work, life, living, family, marriage...all have changed a lot.

2. Nothing wrong in pursuing the goals, passion, aims, dreams from 20 to 30.

3. Love, care and support your parents and expose them to the changes and bring them under your envelope of definition of various things.

4. During olden days 'Marraige for Body needs' worked out to an extent. But now with both working at different places, different timings, prolonged working hours, expecting body needs from tired bodies will only lead to disappointments!...'Marriage for friendship' will only work out henceforth!..If it is only for friendship, then it can happen any time in life. Priorities of everyone is different depending upon their personality traits, level of body and mind needs, profession, lifestyle which mostly depends upon the demands of their job. But children should be groomed for decision making right from childhood and for taking responsibility of the outcomes of their decisions on their shoulders. This is very very important. Else the blame games, guilty feelings will kill the people.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!