Hai all…
Another FAQ…
’sir, my wife wants to use facebook, twitter, skype, whatsapp and other social media. She wants to interact with her classmates and other friends. But I am scared that she will develop friendship with many others and fall in love. Scared that she might run away too. It will affect our family life. I tell her ‘NO’ but she is not listening. She is adamant. My life has become miserable. I love her a lot. She also loves me a lot. I am possessive too. I can’t withstand if she interacts for more time with others. What should I do sir?’
Ans…This is the problem of most of the parents, husbands, wives and lovers today!!...it is not gender specific...so this answer is also not gender specific!!
Freedom of mind and body is the right of every one. No one can impose control or demand. A relationship is not a tool to demand love legally or socially (i.e marriage or love / husband, wife, lover relationships etc can not be used as a right to demand or control a person’s body or mind). Police, court etc can only get you the body, not the mind!... so no use of demanding, controlling, requesting, begging, ordering, scaring or threatening, using all sorts of tv serial or movie or crime novel strategies etc. The solution is tooooo simple…take ‘love’ tool…leave the possessiveness…she is and will be always yours as long as you love her the most, not for the body, but for the mind!
Women want mind and work with their heart….and men look and work for only the body. So try to capture the mind, the body too will be yours.
Unfortunately our ‘predators’ (i.e predecessors) have only seen the ‘body’. They don’t know about mind. But if you ask them they will give big lectures about mind. Otherwise they would not be telling their girls indirectly showing a stranger ‘He is your man!!..Tomorrow onwards you will sleep with him, live with him and look after his house and his parents/siblings!” in the name of marriage!!...and they cleverly locked all the directions for her so that no escape (no education, no way of earning the livings, no support from any side, social stigma…worst than an animal!!!)…Can any one imagine a girl stripping to a stranger like a caged animal???...and this is legally accepted to…society accepts…and calls as ‘pathni’ etc!!!...this shows they never looked at the mind part of it. They never used their sixth sense but used only the sexth sense!!...This happens in many societies and places still in a modified form.
So, they have only taught the methods of how to keep her body inside the house and use it for all the needs of the family. As they did not know her mind, they never taught you how to be in her mind or heart!...this is the reason for most of the problems between spouses or lovers.
Nature wants the life to go on on earth. So, it has created opposite sex attraction, body attraction, arousal, looking after the person (we call it as ‘Love’!!), creating new life, looking after them and rearing them (we call it ‘Love’). All animals also do these. So, sixth sense is not required here. Only when the sixth sense drives the life from subconscious mind towards high self esteem and self actualization….i.e ‘my productive life is over…what next?’ from inside we realize that what we perceived so far is not love and there is something beyond that.
But unfortunately human life revolves around sixth sense…self actualization!!!. It is not about thinking about what others do and judging people with the cow dung we have in our heads!!...it is not ‘thinking’!!...it is not ‘cause and effect’ learning… It is all about exploring the depth of all the knowledge, getting the learning experience and wisdom. Traveling all over the world and getting enlightenment about people, nature and life as a whole!!!...maturing and evolving as a noble person beyond the negatives of human life like possessiveness and greed. Possessiveness leads to suspicion which leads to loss of peace, happiness and life!!...wanting to be secure it self has anxiety in it and therefore is stressful and will result in insecurity.
So, if you do not allow your person in life to grow, mature, evolve, get enlightened, it is a hurdle being imposed on the developmental task or need the nature has created or pushing the organism to go through. This will stress the sub conscious mind. It will make the person to get frustrated, angry and shout. Hate people and relationships. Will feel like running away from all the so called beloved ones. Will feel vacuum inside. Will feel something missing in the life. Will feel ‘not happy’.
In simple terms generally what ever we feel that we must do to keep our people with us, if we do them, we will lose them!!!
So, free her. Love her to the most. Come out of possessiveness. You can at the most control the body and keep it dead, as body with out mind is a dead one!!! You can not control the mind. She or you can not be caged inside the four walls and still remain physically and mentally healthy.
Love is ‘I like her, I love her, I want her to be happy, wherever she is, I want to be the reason for her happiness’…if this is your principle then she is yours!!
peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist...
Another FAQ…
’sir, my wife wants to use facebook, twitter, skype, whatsapp and other social media. She wants to interact with her classmates and other friends. But I am scared that she will develop friendship with many others and fall in love. Scared that she might run away too. It will affect our family life. I tell her ‘NO’ but she is not listening. She is adamant. My life has become miserable. I love her a lot. She also loves me a lot. I am possessive too. I can’t withstand if she interacts for more time with others. What should I do sir?’
Ans…This is the problem of most of the parents, husbands, wives and lovers today!!...it is not gender specific...so this answer is also not gender specific!!
Freedom of mind and body is the right of every one. No one can impose control or demand. A relationship is not a tool to demand love legally or socially (i.e marriage or love / husband, wife, lover relationships etc can not be used as a right to demand or control a person’s body or mind). Police, court etc can only get you the body, not the mind!... so no use of demanding, controlling, requesting, begging, ordering, scaring or threatening, using all sorts of tv serial or movie or crime novel strategies etc. The solution is tooooo simple…take ‘love’ tool…leave the possessiveness…she is and will be always yours as long as you love her the most, not for the body, but for the mind!
Women want mind and work with their heart….and men look and work for only the body. So try to capture the mind, the body too will be yours.
Unfortunately our ‘predators’ (i.e predecessors) have only seen the ‘body’. They don’t know about mind. But if you ask them they will give big lectures about mind. Otherwise they would not be telling their girls indirectly showing a stranger ‘He is your man!!..Tomorrow onwards you will sleep with him, live with him and look after his house and his parents/siblings!” in the name of marriage!!...and they cleverly locked all the directions for her so that no escape (no education, no way of earning the livings, no support from any side, social stigma…worst than an animal!!!)…Can any one imagine a girl stripping to a stranger like a caged animal???...and this is legally accepted to…society accepts…and calls as ‘pathni’ etc!!!...this shows they never looked at the mind part of it. They never used their sixth sense but used only the sexth sense!!...This happens in many societies and places still in a modified form.
So, they have only taught the methods of how to keep her body inside the house and use it for all the needs of the family. As they did not know her mind, they never taught you how to be in her mind or heart!...this is the reason for most of the problems between spouses or lovers.
Nature wants the life to go on on earth. So, it has created opposite sex attraction, body attraction, arousal, looking after the person (we call it as ‘Love’!!), creating new life, looking after them and rearing them (we call it ‘Love’). All animals also do these. So, sixth sense is not required here. Only when the sixth sense drives the life from subconscious mind towards high self esteem and self actualization….i.e ‘my productive life is over…what next?’ from inside we realize that what we perceived so far is not love and there is something beyond that.
But unfortunately human life revolves around sixth sense…self actualization!!!. It is not about thinking about what others do and judging people with the cow dung we have in our heads!!...it is not ‘thinking’!!...it is not ‘cause and effect’ learning… It is all about exploring the depth of all the knowledge, getting the learning experience and wisdom. Traveling all over the world and getting enlightenment about people, nature and life as a whole!!!...maturing and evolving as a noble person beyond the negatives of human life like possessiveness and greed. Possessiveness leads to suspicion which leads to loss of peace, happiness and life!!...wanting to be secure it self has anxiety in it and therefore is stressful and will result in insecurity.
So, if you do not allow your person in life to grow, mature, evolve, get enlightened, it is a hurdle being imposed on the developmental task or need the nature has created or pushing the organism to go through. This will stress the sub conscious mind. It will make the person to get frustrated, angry and shout. Hate people and relationships. Will feel like running away from all the so called beloved ones. Will feel vacuum inside. Will feel something missing in the life. Will feel ‘not happy’.
In simple terms generally what ever we feel that we must do to keep our people with us, if we do them, we will lose them!!!
So, free her. Love her to the most. Come out of possessiveness. You can at the most control the body and keep it dead, as body with out mind is a dead one!!! You can not control the mind. She or you can not be caged inside the four walls and still remain physically and mentally healthy.
Love is ‘I like her, I love her, I want her to be happy, wherever she is, I want to be the reason for her happiness’…if this is your principle then she is yours!!
peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist...
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