Dear all...AN IMPORTANT POST FOR PARENTS AND ADOLESCENT CHILDREN...the biggest head ache for the parents and adolescent children is the difference in opinion about which group to take (in +2), which course to take in college, which job to select!!
Parents think about getting a job and earning after the course for the children to make their living so that they can settle in life fast with marriage, children etc and the parents can finish off (!) their responsibility. They look at Indian job market, their need to keep the children nearby or not, jobs in their own city or nearby city.
Some parents also say 'Our family is a doctor family. You also become a doctor!'...i.e family profession concept!!
Some parents say 'Your brother is an engineer. Both in the same profession will be boring (!). You be different. So, you be a lawyer (or doctor etc)!' ...i.e 'no family profession but a different profession!'.
Parents feel scared and worried to venture into new areas of study or work/profession unknown to them. Some of them feel they are not capable of guiding their children in that unknown profession and do not know how to get guidance or not interested or scared to leave them to the experts in that profession to guide them.
This is the side of the parents.
Now let us look at the side of children!!
Children in adolescent age think they are grown up, they know everything, parents are old, have less awareness about the new professions which are growing fast, parents have not grown in exposure and knowledge commensurate with the outside growth. They feel their interest is important.
They also say and show to prove their stand with poor performance later after the admissions that once they are not interested in that subject or profession how can they study well and score good marks. So, they get arrears, stop going to college, pick up bad friendships, indulge in health compromising behaviours etc and they become the biggest life challenge ever for their parents!!
After some time the parents also give up, feel they have done a grave mistake by not going by his/her interest, words etc. Change the course and college wasting lakhs of rupees at both the colleges!!
So, it is a big question in the minds of the parents, which is right?...what should we do?...Parents who burnt their back will say 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...WOFFFFFFFFF...GO BY INTEREST!'
Scientists have studied these two issues…1. Skills…..2. Interest…
Every job requires knowledge, skills and experience. Every human being has knowledge, skills and expereince. If both job requirements and what that person has match, then they will do well in job. One group of scientists say this.
‘Once a person has interest, that person will put in long hours of work, involve completely, learn more and more and the knowledge, skills and experience related to that field will increase, and obviously that person will do well in job!’…this is the view of another group of scientists.
There are many supporting theories and examples for both.
But I feel that WE SHOULD GO BY SKILLS BECAUSE INTEREST KEEPS CHANGING!!...Whatever interest we had at 10 is not there at 20, and it changes at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 etc. OUR INTERESTS KEEPS CHANGING DEPENDING UPON OUR NEEDS AND WANTS IN LIFE. DEPENDING UPON WHERE WE ARE IN THE MASLOW’S THEORY OF HIERARCHY OF NEEDS AT THAT AGE AND STAGE IN LIFE.
Most of the ‘interests’ of adolescent age is ‘fantasy’ driven which vanishes after some time. So, later on they will feel ‘woff!! I made a wrong choice!!’…then they will change their life into some other direction…may be successfully or fail!!.....If the interest has emanated from skills within and basic personality trait, then it is likely to remain for a longer time, i.e at least middle adult stage (40 years) or life long!!
So, my personal opinion is GO BY SKILLS!!...Even if you don’t have interest when you do well, when you are appreciated for your work, when people want to have you in their teams, when you get rewards, promotions, best of the oppurtunities possible at country and international level, then you will automatically get interest and do in that profession well!!...After few years if you feel ‘No!!...I might be doing well. But my heart longs for my passion!! (or hobby or interst etc)!!’…Then change over or have that too in your life!!...Have one for your Living and have the other for you Life!!...Today change over is possible to an extent to any profession through IT, Computers, Networking etc. You will have both Sense of Satisfaction and Sense of Achievement!!
peacefully yours...rams!!
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