THIS POST IS ONLY FOR LOVERS...NOT FOR PARENTS

Dear all...THIS POST IS ONLY FOR LOVERS...NOT FOR PARENTS...!!...All of us get attracted to some one from school time to college time to working phase of life.

In all the cases what generally happens is we are not conscious about what happens during the entire phase of love or relationship...we are generally carefree...we allow the things as per their way...we also get guided by things we learn from fb etc saying 'go by your heart way!'...'go by your heart but consult with the brain too!'...so we get confused till get fused in a situation of discomfort or a proper fix!!

Most of the relationships start as friendship and slowly move towards heart, body, soul etc.

BOTH THE PEOPLE SHOULD PERCEIVE 'SAME KIND OF RELATIONSHIP', ONLY THEN THERE WILL BE HAPPINESS, PEACE AND GOOD MENTAL, SOCIAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH IN THEM AND BETWEEN THEM.

If both perceive different kind of relationships then all gone!!!!!

Intense feelings can be present in a simple friendship and deep love relationship too!!

Involvement of physical intimacy, body, commitment for long term relationship, intense feelings with all these etc demarcate a relationship from 'just friendship' to something else!!

Generally girls remain as 'friends' but boys quickly move up to 'love'. Vice versa is possible but rare.

These days there are many boys and girls who do not want any committed long term relationship moving towards marriage etc. They just want friendship and may be little above depending upon their willingness, comfort zone, intensity of need etc.
Every one perceives THEIR MISSING RELATIONSHIP IN LIFE with the other person whom they are attracted to!...Girls perceive brother, uncle, teacher, mentor, lover, husband, father, friend etc. Boys perceive sister, teacher, mentor, lover, wife, friend etc.

If both perceive the same kind of relationship e.g Friend-friend, brother-sister, lover-lover, husband-wife, teacher-teacher, father-daughter, mentor-mentor etc, then the relationship goes bang on for a life time!!

During the course of time the relationship perceived can change also. But it should change from both the sides.

When one remains as a friend and the other moves to love then both get screwed with unfulfilled expectations, wants, needs, discomfort, 'crossing the limits' feeling, frustration, sadness, miserable suffocating atmosphere etc.

EVERY RELATIONSHIP PERCEIVED HAS ITS ASSOCIATED THINKING, EMOTIONS, BELIEFS, ROLES AND STATUSES OF RESPONSIBILITIES AND COMMITMENT, BEHAVIOURS.

When a person perceives a particular relationship with the other he or she displays related thinking, emotions and behaviours. This person expects the same kind of behaviours from the other person too. But due to variations in perception, thinking-emotions-behaviours etc everything changes which is not liked by the first person.

Some expand their comfort zone a bit to accommodate the needs, wants and expectations of the other, but it never ends and keep growing. The control of the relationship remains with the person whose needs are less from the relationship. So, that person keeps warning the other person, and breaks-up one fine day.

Therefore, the crux of the issue is...

1. Both should perceive same kind of relationship and in case it changes then both should change. Only one changing will lead to frustration, fights, discomforts, sadness and finally lead to break-up. Even if one yields a bit, it will never stand there and one day will break.

2. We need to be continuously conscious about the type of relationship perceived by both and keep a check if they are same and if any change. Good open communication between the two is vital for this.

3. In case of 'intense feelings' the person hardly changes to match the perceived relationship of the other and therefore it breaks with pain in the hearts of both.

there are many lovers with differently perceived relationships and keep fighting with each other and are unable to break-up also. This is what motivated me to type this post, so that we can avoid reaching such a situation in any relationship by being continuously conscious about it!!

peacefully yours...rams!!