hai all.....
now a question from a specialist....
"do you not believe you can deeply love two people at one time...not just the romantic type...but genuine love? I am not sure commitment has anything to do with it except of course if you are in a committed relationship...then it would be cheating to act on the other love?"
now an answer...
"Yes, of course, one can love many people at the same time. I love my friends, relatives, siblings....all that is genuine love. But different from the love of my spouse. I could certainly love a male friend, but it s friendship type of love. Some of my friends' husbands are good friends of mine, for example"
""Dr. John Lee developed a Love Attitude Scale of six love styles: Eros-Romantic/Passionate Love; Ludus- Playful/Conquest Love; Storge- Friendship Love; Pragma- Intellectual/Undemonstrative Love; Mania-Possessive/Dependent Love; and; Agape- Selfless/Altruistic Love."
"I saw a client early this AM where I had gently told her that her "love" was an addiction and that she would most likely go through withdrawal in letting him go,(she wanted me to hypnotize her to end the relationship). I felt she really needed to know what she was up against so I even spoke about the change in her brain just as if she were an alcoholic with the accompanying changes in brain chemistry and growing numbers of brain receptors begging for alcohol. Talk about synchronicity!"
"I'm glad you mentioned 'Agape'. It is similar to the Buddhist concept of Loving Kindness, or Compassion. It is something which can be consciously cultivated, and maybe it is the necessary ingredient for success in marriage, after the passion inevitably wanes."
"Love does not begin and end the way we seems to think it dooes.Love is a battle, love is a war, love is a growing up."
"Love is a response to values. James Taggart reveals the nature of such a need to be loved - 'I don't want to be loved for anything. I want to be loved for myself - not for anything I do or have or say or think. For myself - not for my body or mind or words or works or action"
"M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN MANICKARAJAN...yes, the buzz I get out of love is the feeling I have whilst I am loving. Being loved is secondary."
"A man falls in love with and sexually desires the person who reflects his own deepest values"
"I think love is subjective, it really depends on the person and their mind set. I suppose culture has a lot to do with it too"
"I did not read the whole thread but remember having read the opposite of love is not fear but hatred. I believe it is fear (hatred just being a strong form of externalising fear) and will explain.
I feel uncomfortable with the positivistic approach enshrined in the question "what is ...?" We do feel when we love and when we believe we are loved. I doubt about the need to define love objectively.
The reason is also that it may be residual, i.e. the feeling you have when you do not beware, not protect yourself. If we take seriously that all human beings are emotionally connected as long as they do not shreak away, and that we feel connected to objects as well if they do not harm us, then love is "defined".
The fact that sometimes we concentrate all our feeling on one person or one object or class of objects, i.e. we fall in love or are fanatic, is just one of those forms of unbalance we experience in many regards when our mind simplifies things"
"Are you sure that is an "unbalance we experience in many regards when our mind simplifies things"? I'd rather say quite the opposite, that we have precise reasons to do so, and that our minds oversimplifies when it tries to explain it and/or decide "how it should be". Paraphrasing Einstein, "Nature doesn't play dice". There are PLENTY of reasons, even biological reasons, for "falling in love". There may be less for being fanatic, but who am I to tell? Anyway, we need a wider view to understand, and that view may well be "against" some of our beliefs about "what being human means"... or other strong beliefs of ours."
"you are in the 'reasons' logic. But that is only a way of understanding how our mind works. This question may also be approached, as I have shown, outside the logic of 'reasons'. If you deduct 'reasons' from the mind what is left is not nothing. It may well be basic and 'reasons' the product of the viewer's reasoning. I know, often enough it works and gives an explanation. But just in the basics, i.e. emotions, it often does not. I feel that's what psychology is about."
"People choose their partners to gather the most variety available... and then they argue because they're different!"
bye guys...
rams
now a question from a specialist....
"do you not believe you can deeply love two people at one time...not just the romantic type...but genuine love? I am not sure commitment has anything to do with it except of course if you are in a committed relationship...then it would be cheating to act on the other love?"
now an answer...
"Yes, of course, one can love many people at the same time. I love my friends, relatives, siblings....all that is genuine love. But different from the love of my spouse. I could certainly love a male friend, but it s friendship type of love. Some of my friends' husbands are good friends of mine, for example"
""Dr. John Lee developed a Love Attitude Scale of six love styles: Eros-Romantic/Passionate Love; Ludus- Playful/Conquest Love; Storge- Friendship Love; Pragma- Intellectual/Undemonstrative Love; Mania-Possessive/Dependent Love; and; Agape- Selfless/Altruistic Love."
"I saw a client early this AM where I had gently told her that her "love" was an addiction and that she would most likely go through withdrawal in letting him go,(she wanted me to hypnotize her to end the relationship). I felt she really needed to know what she was up against so I even spoke about the change in her brain just as if she were an alcoholic with the accompanying changes in brain chemistry and growing numbers of brain receptors begging for alcohol. Talk about synchronicity!"
"I'm glad you mentioned 'Agape'. It is similar to the Buddhist concept of Loving Kindness, or Compassion. It is something which can be consciously cultivated, and maybe it is the necessary ingredient for success in marriage, after the passion inevitably wanes."
"Love does not begin and end the way we seems to think it dooes.Love is a battle, love is a war, love is a growing up."
"Love is a response to values. James Taggart reveals the nature of such a need to be loved - 'I don't want to be loved for anything. I want to be loved for myself - not for anything I do or have or say or think. For myself - not for my body or mind or words or works or action"
"M.RAMASUBRAMANIAN MANICKARAJAN...yes, the buzz I get out of love is the feeling I have whilst I am loving. Being loved is secondary."
"A man falls in love with and sexually desires the person who reflects his own deepest values"
"I think love is subjective, it really depends on the person and their mind set. I suppose culture has a lot to do with it too"
"I did not read the whole thread but remember having read the opposite of love is not fear but hatred. I believe it is fear (hatred just being a strong form of externalising fear) and will explain.
I feel uncomfortable with the positivistic approach enshrined in the question "what is ...?" We do feel when we love and when we believe we are loved. I doubt about the need to define love objectively.
The reason is also that it may be residual, i.e. the feeling you have when you do not beware, not protect yourself. If we take seriously that all human beings are emotionally connected as long as they do not shreak away, and that we feel connected to objects as well if they do not harm us, then love is "defined".
The fact that sometimes we concentrate all our feeling on one person or one object or class of objects, i.e. we fall in love or are fanatic, is just one of those forms of unbalance we experience in many regards when our mind simplifies things"
"Are you sure that is an "unbalance we experience in many regards when our mind simplifies things"? I'd rather say quite the opposite, that we have precise reasons to do so, and that our minds oversimplifies when it tries to explain it and/or decide "how it should be". Paraphrasing Einstein, "Nature doesn't play dice". There are PLENTY of reasons, even biological reasons, for "falling in love". There may be less for being fanatic, but who am I to tell? Anyway, we need a wider view to understand, and that view may well be "against" some of our beliefs about "what being human means"... or other strong beliefs of ours."
"you are in the 'reasons' logic. But that is only a way of understanding how our mind works. This question may also be approached, as I have shown, outside the logic of 'reasons'. If you deduct 'reasons' from the mind what is left is not nothing. It may well be basic and 'reasons' the product of the viewer's reasoning. I know, often enough it works and gives an explanation. But just in the basics, i.e. emotions, it often does not. I feel that's what psychology is about."
"People choose their partners to gather the most variety available... and then they argue because they're different!"
bye guys...
rams
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