Hai all...
What is Handsome? What is Beauty? What is being Lovable? What attracts a
girl to a boy/man…a women to a man/boy…?...What attracts a boy/man to a
girl/woman?...What is an arousal factor?
There are many girls
who feel they are not attractive to boys. There are many boys who feel
they are not attractive to girls. This is a serious mental health issue
as it affects many other behaviours.
Is it in the skin
colour?...Is it in the youthfulness?...Is it in the muscles?...Is it in
the body parts?...Is it in the curves, shapes and sizes?...Is it in the
eyes, lips, cheeks, chin, hair, ears, fingers, hips, butts, thighs,
feet, mustache, beard, such other fashionable stuffs like ear pin (for
men), navel rings….where that damnnnnnnn thing is???????
Though I
was a healthy child but was a bony boy!!...In the college only English
speaking boys had girls around them. Tamil medium boys like me had no
girls around. Inspite of turning from bony to muscle boy and
participating in MR PSG Tech competitions no girl said handsome!!...So,
is English language speaking handsome in India?
When I was a 10
year old boy I have read and seen in mags…every girl to women to an old
lady wanted to kiss or hug or marry or love Amitabh bachhan!!
I
am 50 and he is too old biologically…but still from girl to women to an
old lady wants to kiss or hug or love him…may be marry too!!
Every one says he has got that ‘charisma!’…what is this?
Every one likes and loves Sharukh Khan…most of the actors who are adored as handsome are above 50!!
Young girls are said beautiful…mother Teresa also was beautiful!
Other day when I happened to visit an engg college I wanted to tell
them how important it is to form a good image in the minds of teachers
during the first year which gets carried forward to reap many benefits
in the subsequent years . I also wanted to tell them how our brain and
mind forms ‘images’ ‘opinions’ / mental constructs about others. So,
pointed at one of the girls to get up and asked ‘What thought came in
your mind moment you looked at me at the first sight when I entered the
auditorium?’…she said, to my surprise and collapse ‘What a handsome guy
he is!’…I felt too shy and asked one more girl to get up and answer. She
also said the same. The third girl also said the same!!!...I asked them
the reason…they said ‘All chief guests who come here have big bellies,
walk slowly, no energy, talk all old crap from an alien place, no glow
in their face!’…you are the opposite!!...So, after a half century I
understood what beauty or handsome means!!!
So…so…so…so…beauty or
handsome or youthfulness or charisma or attractiveness or arousal
factor is not in the muscles or skin colour or English or hair or
intelligence or knowledge or education or richness in wealth or fame or
authority or power …it is…
1. Being active
2. Regular walks and yoga…physical and mental exericises!!
3. May be running, exercising, gymming too.
4. Being in shape
5. Slowing down the aging process by eating only healthy stuff
6. Not being with people of closed minds, rigidity, ‘During those days’
people, ‘physically in the present and mentally In the last century!’
people, walking coffins, ‘half dead just alive’ people, frogs in the
well, ‘judging-exploiting-misguiding-controlling-directing’ people,
people emotionally bonded and obsessed to language, religion, caste,
gods, holy men, holy books etc, ‘out of shape’ people, ‘tv serial’
people, people who talk something-think something-do something, people
who keep planning all negative strategies against people
7. Being with open minded, free and expanded thinking, ‘living’ people (not ‘existing’ ‘surviving’ ‘coping up’ ‘managing’)
8. Not being rigid, obsessed, commanding, ordering, controlling,
demanding, expecting but being adaptable to people, places, religions,
castes, climate etc
9. Being bubbly bubbly with lots of josh / energy…i.e being happy
10. Being kind, helpful and empathetic
11. Being matured and noble
12. Living without any bad health habits
13. Accepting people and life situations as they are
14. Being without any personality disorders
15. Being with positive ego and without negative ego
16. Being mentally and socially healthy
17. Ready to listen patiently from kids to old to uneducated to anyone
18. Being with the nature
19. Being a thought provoking rather than thought breaking or making others ‘not to think’
20. Being surrounded by some art form or the other
The list is an endless one with all positives…
So, the crux is handsome or beauty is OVERALL PERSONALITY ATTRIBUTES…in
short the physical appearance and our definition of life and living and
how we have converted them into behaviours...
keep rocking!!
peacefully yours....rams....health psychologist
