Hai
all...peace, happiness, good physical-mental-social health and sense of
achievement and fulfilment are the basics of life...every one 'wants'
and 'needs' it...
we, being social animals, alone we can not achieve the above...
so people are involved...by default too...e.g mom
every one gets these above from different people...we need the above in different types and different quantities and qualities too with changes in day and night, climate, moods, life situations etc...these decide our boundaries and tolerance limits...the comfort zones!!...they keep changing, expanding and contracting depending upon the changes in levels, types, quality and quantity of needs and wants...what we call as emotional needs and moods...
so every one has wants and needs which range from emotional to intellectual to physical to what not?...it is a long list!!
so, many ships full of all these wants and needs are required...together they are called 'relationships'...major ones being 'friendship' and 'soul-mate ship'...both have 'love' sugar mixed in them...some want more sugar...some want less...it depends upon our mood...no one is diabetic in this that they don't want love sugar!!..obviously increasing levels of love sugar leads to diabetes of relationships and finally death!!
in general, as long as the relationship remains within friendship the comfort zones are safe...moment it exceeds this relationship into emotional love then stresses strain the boundaries....
between two different people the needs and wants are different...rarely they match...boundaries different...comfort zones different...
when the needs of one is more than the comfort zones of the other then the heart and brain gets burnt both sides...the urge for satiation of needs and wants and also the feeling of security...i.e 'i need this for entire life'...the feeling of possessiveness i.e 'she or he should give only to me and not to others'...imposes conditions, controls, demands, slavery, obsession which takes away the basics from both people ie peace, happiness, freedom, health, sense of achievement or fulfilment....so, the sources which give these also become the sources which remove them from our life when the boundaries and comfort zones are crossed...so, we go to one person for some x and lose what ever that x we have...at the same time we can not remain away from people too....so...so...so...so
1. neurotransmitters and hormones create all these wants and needs and keep changing the comfort zones created by the brain...i.e moment there is a need or want of the heart, brain creates the comfort zone...when there is no need or want, there is no comfort zone!!
2. walks, runs, yoga helps to keep the two monsters above under balance...can even bring it down to zero most of the time...i.e no need / want state...i.e no boundaries...no comfort zone state...
3. bringing more nature into life and sources of unconditional love (e.g puppies) reduces the stresses caused in body and mind to great levels.
4. satiation of needs and wants to maximum extent from sources at sl.no.3 above and less from people keeps our and others' boundaries safe and sound.
neurotransmitterly yours....rams....health psychologist....
we, being social animals, alone we can not achieve the above...
so people are involved...by default too...e.g mom
every one gets these above from different people...we need the above in different types and different quantities and qualities too with changes in day and night, climate, moods, life situations etc...these decide our boundaries and tolerance limits...the comfort zones!!...they keep changing, expanding and contracting depending upon the changes in levels, types, quality and quantity of needs and wants...what we call as emotional needs and moods...
so every one has wants and needs which range from emotional to intellectual to physical to what not?...it is a long list!!
so, many ships full of all these wants and needs are required...together they are called 'relationships'...major ones being 'friendship' and 'soul-mate ship'...both have 'love' sugar mixed in them...some want more sugar...some want less...it depends upon our mood...no one is diabetic in this that they don't want love sugar!!..obviously increasing levels of love sugar leads to diabetes of relationships and finally death!!
in general, as long as the relationship remains within friendship the comfort zones are safe...moment it exceeds this relationship into emotional love then stresses strain the boundaries....
between two different people the needs and wants are different...rarely they match...boundaries different...comfort zones different...
when the needs of one is more than the comfort zones of the other then the heart and brain gets burnt both sides...the urge for satiation of needs and wants and also the feeling of security...i.e 'i need this for entire life'...the feeling of possessiveness i.e 'she or he should give only to me and not to others'...imposes conditions, controls, demands, slavery, obsession which takes away the basics from both people ie peace, happiness, freedom, health, sense of achievement or fulfilment....so, the sources which give these also become the sources which remove them from our life when the boundaries and comfort zones are crossed...so, we go to one person for some x and lose what ever that x we have...at the same time we can not remain away from people too....so...so...so...so
1. neurotransmitters and hormones create all these wants and needs and keep changing the comfort zones created by the brain...i.e moment there is a need or want of the heart, brain creates the comfort zone...when there is no need or want, there is no comfort zone!!
2. walks, runs, yoga helps to keep the two monsters above under balance...can even bring it down to zero most of the time...i.e no need / want state...i.e no boundaries...no comfort zone state...
3. bringing more nature into life and sources of unconditional love (e.g puppies) reduces the stresses caused in body and mind to great levels.
4. satiation of needs and wants to maximum extent from sources at sl.no.3 above and less from people keeps our and others' boundaries safe and sound.
neurotransmitterly yours....rams....health psychologist....
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