The definition of marriage, family, living, life etc will be different between people within the same family...so, traditional system of family and marriages will fail now and in future!!

Dear all...When civilisation started, both men and women worked in fields. The entire family worked at the same place. Groups were divided based on their work and castes formed and they married within their caste groups to have matching beliefs, life styles etc.

Amongst some groups probably the Division of Labour occurred, and girls only looked after the house chores and men worked to earn the things required to live. Here again the marriages within their caste groups worked as they all lived together as one family, one society.

Later the girls started going to schools and colleges, started working at offices nearby. Here also it worked well to an extent with some ifs and buts here and there with the changed thinking patterns of girls, their non availability at home for chores, ego clashes between them and others at home, over load on them with work at office, grooming children, looking after the old people and husband, emotional issues etc. Here the girls worked only for earning money, for the family to meet the growing social status needs. Here also the arranged marriages within caste groups worked well to an extent as everyone lived together.

Now every girl and boy are feeling equals at schools, colleges and organisations, except at homes, in the minds of parents (at least in rural areas and rural brains of urban homes!). They have their own passion, urge to excel, urge to create their own identity, to earn, to make their own living, life, buy everything by their own selves, right for freedom in all spheres and domains at home-society and organisations. The girls feel they also have feelings, ambitions, adventure seeking minds etc. So, they work hard, get good marks, get admissions at good colleges, get good courses, challenging jobs, great salaries, make great life and living of their own. So, they live far away from their parents and boys.

Under these conditions, how can the boy and girl live together at one home, and that too with the aged people who do not want to leave their birthplace-childhood place-living place-or place of settled living?

Some parents of boys insist that the girl leaves the job to get married to their son. The girls' parents also force the girls to resign their jobs and become house wife or pick up jobs near their place of living etc to which the girls do not agree as they have been groomed from childhood to study, to compete in everything with others, work at the best places and to excel.

Girls are interested in their passion, interests and all that i said above which is right as their brains also have got sixth sense and it craves for 'cause and effect' thinking, creativity, applause, appreciation and acceptance based on and for their knowledge and skills, independence in all spheres of life. Parents are interested in finishing off their responsibility of marrying off their daughter. Under these conditions how the traditional arranged marriage will work out?

There is no way that the boy, the girl and parents can live together and they will all live in different, far off cities and countries. Truly when boys and girls grow up, study and work in multicultural environment, they lose their identity of their religion in their way of living and defining life. Then where is the religion or caste in picture? It is only in the birth certificates
, applications and the primitive minds of yesteryear obsolescent parents. Not in real life and living of the boys and girls.

Some one can ask 'How can one live alone. It is not possible. What will happen to the family system? What will happen to marriages? How life will continue on earth?...The society will have no children and imbalance in society etc.

Yes, they know it is important too. So, they get married to a person who is available with them at the work place, one who can understand them and give all that they want and can live with them without affecting and compromising their passion and interests in life.

Many born on this earth are not eligible for marriage due to their unsocial personality traits unsuitable for married life and raising children and family, committed relationships etc. When such people are forced for marriage, it fails. It is better they live alone. They seek emotional and sexual needs through their intimate relationships and live.

so, the crux is...

1. When girls and boys work far away from their social and caste groups, families, traditional arranged marriages will fail miserably.

2. In future, the place of work, type of work, challenges in work, a person who can support and match for all these work related issues, emotional compatibility, intellectual compatibility, will only decide who can be the life mate and not the caste or close relatives of the parents.

3. Every one will define Life and Living differently in the same family and will seek and fight for their independence. If we respect, then we will have them in our life. Else will lose.

4. Many will live single.

5. Mostly it will be single parent families where the girls will raise the children living alone while the husband/father lives away coming to wife and children during mating seasons! (if the marriages are traditionally arranged)

6. It would be the best for all if the girls and boys marry with the person who is living at the work and living place, matching with their WORK, PASSION, INTERESTS, DEFINES LIFE AND LIVING IN THE SAME WAY, RESPECTS-HELPS, TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.

CASTE, RELIGION, RELATIVES CIRCLES OF PARENTS ETC WILL ONLY TAKE THE SECONDARY OR TERTIARY PRIORITY.

If you say 'Sorry! I don't believe in this! Traditions should be followed and they are for good!', then no one can save you and your children!!

peacefully yours...rams...