Dear all…THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO FEEL DEPRESSED AND DOWN!!
Why are we depressed and down?...Are we Useless?...In what way?...In comparison with others?...Why we compare ourselves with others?
Why we want to achieve big in life?...So that others think ‘wow, what a guy he is!’?...Why should we bother about what others think?
Why we want to be loved?...Why we feel like crying our heart out?...Because some one does not like us?...Some one does not love us?...Some one does not accept us as his or her friend?...Does some one does not love us mean No-One loves us?...
The world is full of beautiful people like us!!...Every one beautiful becomes ugly to the same eyes after some time and every one ugly becomes the most beautiful to the same eyes after some time!!...
Bony and skinny can become fleshy and awesome in no time, fleshy and round can become slim and curved in no time!!...Black becomes beautiful to the same eyes after some time!!...It is ultimately the heart that wins the love and not the boobs and butts as they only lust!!
Why we and our parents want us to be the first ranker?...why there is a constant push day and night to be the first in every thing?...Every one adds only stress, is there any one to teach how to burst the stress or not to get stressed while the guns are always firing?
Parents want to hear ‘Your kid is the best in the class!’ ‘Your kid is the first in the school!’ ‘Your kid is the only-one among our relatives!’…We want every one to adore us and our kids!!...why?
We like when every one praises our brothers and sisters and at the same time there is a devil who does not like this….Why?...especially when some one says ‘Look at your sis! (or Bro!) Neeyum irukkiye, vetti, somberi, onnukkum layakkilla, vetti vaayi thaan!!’
Even in organisations we are in the mad run to be at the first…why?
Throughout life from birth to death, as a child, as a student in school and college, as an employee, as a sibling at home, amongst the relatives, amonst the friends, between husband and wife, as an aged person,….always we want to be in the forefront, excel, better than others…in what?...IN MONEY, WEALTH, KNOWLEDGE, INTELLIGENCE, OTHER SKILLS, FAME, AUTHORITY / POWER, BEING LOVED. We don’t want to be the No.2!!...always No.1!!
Every one praising us has no meaning when people whom we love and value more are not praising us!!
Throughout life from birth to death, as a child, as a student in school and college, as an employee, as a sibling at home, amongst the relatives, amonst the friends, between husband and wife, as an aged person,….always we want to be in the forefront, excel, better than others…in what?...IN MONEY, WEALTH, KNOWLEDGE, INTELLIGENCE, OTHER SKILLS, FAME, AUTHORITY / POWER, BEING LOVED. We don’t want to be the No.2!!...always No.1!!
Every one praising us has no meaning when people whom we love and value more are not praising us!!
Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?
There are few things that come prominently in the front…
1. We always COMPARE our life and living with others!!…the EGO that ‘I’ and ‘WE’ should be on the top to be the best and praised…at any cost!!...We don’t mind putting in any hard-work, burn any amount of energy and money, following any immoral path also!!
2. We want to gain THE ATTENTION AND PAMPERING OF EVERYONE, the ‘Feeling of Acceptance’ from every one around, always!!...And no less in comparison with anyone, always more and the best as No.1!!
3. We are toooo POSSESSIVE about our-self, our people, our positions in the merit and in others’ heart!
Actually how should we compare ourselves with others?
Are we peaceful like others?....Are others peaceful?...Is peace not the most important one in life?
Are we physically healthy like others?...Are others physically healthy?...Is health is not the biggest wealth?
Are we mentally stable, strong, confident and healthy like others?...Are others mentally healthy?
Are we happy like others?...Are others really happy?...We only see the pleasures that others enjoy. Does pleasures, the short lived craving ones, give peace and contentment?...Then what is happiness and why we are not running behind it and longing for it?...why are we craving for the pleasures?
Are we socially acceptable by others?...Are our social relationships with others healthy?...Are others socially acceptable in their circles?...How are they rated by others?..will any one help if they need basic help to survive?
Are we contented in our life like others?...Are they contented with their life?...Will they be contented with their life in future too?
Are we in the path of self-transcendence?...Are others around in this path?...Will they reach this state?
Are we in the path of self-transcendence?...Are others around in this path?...Will they reach this state?
Truly every body is different. Every mind is different. The likes and dislikes are different. Every person differs from his or her own-self of the past. We are continuously growing, aging, changing, evolving, learning. Wants, needs and expectations keep changing. Every one is special in a special way. The destiny is different. The environs are different. The challenges they face in life while growing to maturing to living are different entire life. Their body organs functioning are different. They age differently biologically, mentally, socially, professionally, personally. They react differently to the same stimuli.
We don’t see their tears!
We don’t see their hard-work!
We don’t see their losses in family life, love life, passion, hobbies, wellness, socialisation, sacrifices, compromises they have made etc.
We only see one thing that kaduppethhifies us!!
We don’t see their health compromises!
We don’t see their bellies, fat bodies, ulcers, lung problems, liver issues, in-digestion problems, sleeplessness, kidney stones, gall bladder issues, burning varicose veins, back pains, broken neck, fights at home, divorce, mis-carriages, gynaec problems, deaths of loved ones, hates and curses from parents-friends-relatives-peers-subordinates and bosses…we don’t see any of these!!
Can’t we get fame, become achieved, money, wealth, love of all, power/authority without all these sacrifices and compromises?
Truly it is possible!!!!!!!!!
Though ‘comparative merit’ is what is rewarded, acknowledged and not the ‘individual merit’…Are all IITians, IIMians and students of such elite institutions in india and abroad are successful?...they are only successful?...Are those from corporation schools, mediocre colleges not successful?...How many of the famous people are from such institutions?
It is individuality, creativity, being different throughout life is what counts!
Life is not a 100 metre dash!...It is a long marathon run over about 50 years of active life.
It is being moderate and steady is what is important to win at the end of life in everything…personal life…professional life…family life…social life…
Losing in one aspect of life and gaining in others is of no use at the end!
No one is guaranteed to live here for 100 years!...Any one can lose the life any time!...I ranker can die at 30 and last ranker can live up to 90!...So, losing few months or years in failures, arrears, no job situations is actually no loss!!
The top guns are not guaranteed with good health always and entire life!...Any moment they can be diagnosed with a Terminal / dangerous illness which can take them to the pyre in no time!...It can happen to the last ranker also!
Nothing and no one will come with us till the end except our own body, mind, knowledge, wisdom gained, experience in all spheres of life!
If some one has not got campus placement does not mean they will not get job for entire life!...It is just that they have to work in a small firm, learn as much as possible and switch over to better and better jobs as life goes on and those who upgrade their knowledge and skills constantly, intelligently, widely and upwardly will rise in money, wealth, fame and power!
So, don’t feel depressed. Don’t feel sad. Don’t feel down’. Don’t think you are useless. Don’t think others are better than you. Don’t think others are living a better life in all angles than you. Don’t think others are peaceful, happy, healthy and contented. The definition of success is different for every one.
Then what to do?...How to live?...How to get all these goody goodies?
1. Don’t compare yourself with others.
2. Set a long term goal till 50 years of age.
3. Let the goal be to be peaceful. Physically healthy. Mentally healthy. Socially healthy. Be happy. Be contented. Be a self actualised and self-transcending person as a whole.
4. Accept destiny as it is. Don't resist. Resisting always leads to stress and agony. But don’t stop and break. A river never stops. It changes direction and keeps flowing. If climbing a tree is difficult after some time, get down and climb another tree or hop!...Don’t lose hope and fall down. So, change directions, get down and climb another or hop and keep moving towards the destination listed at 3 above.
5. Be self dependent for ‘everything’ in life. Never depend on others for anything. i.e for all body and mind needs.
6. Be highly adaptable in eating and living. Flexible. But without compromising those at 3 above.
7. Like all. Love all. Accept every one as they are. Help all. Give whatever you can. Everyone is imperfect in the eyes of others and perfect in their own perception. Accept this.
8. Every human being can be changed including our own-self which is the easiest.
9. Love, empathy, good manners, personality traits, smiles, being kind and human are the best weapons to attract others towards us, make them change, be good to all etc. Of course, medication, counseling and other treatments are always there. EVERYTHING IS LEARNT OTHER THAN BASIC INSTINCTS AND EVERYTHING LEARNT CAN BE UNLEARNT!!
10. Walk, run, yoga, meditate, be with Nature, eat healthy, think healthy, behave healthy.
11. Learn to say NO to those exploiters who suck away those listed at 3 above from your life.
12. Be a good and enlightened human being. But be productive also in organisations as there is no charity there.
13. Keep learning, improving your body-mind-social well-being all the time.
14. Be wild, wide and deep in skill and knowledge development throughout life, never stop that. Asoka trees take 40 years to grow but can be cut in few seconds. Banyan trees also take the same time to grow but can’t be killed because no one knows where the roots are and branches are!!...It is wild, wide and deep!!
15. Never bother about failures, people moving ahead of you etc. Never compare yourself with others. YOU ARE UNIQUE AND BLESSED WITH SPECIAL SKILLS TO LIVE AND SUCCEED IN YOUR PATH AS AT 3 ABOVE. You be in your path of success. Define the entire world as your village and any place on earth is your home.
16. Keep changing your field of interest every five years in all domains…profession…passion…arts…hobby…adventure…academics…etc
17. Never be possessive about places, people and things as everything on this earth is for you to enjoy…trees, birds, Nature, river, mountains, hills, people, places...all unlimited!!…don't get caged with one by being possessive!!...no one stops you going to any place and person on earth to derive happiness, pleasure etc!!
18. If you follow the above, you are sure to reach many peaks, get more money and wealth than you need, you will have a successful family and love life, you will be healthy till the last breathe, you will always have ‘feeling of acceptance’, you will have people-power, you will become authority in your fields of specialisation.
19. At 50 when you meet your friends, they will be winners in only one aspect of life and in only one direction. Whereas you will be winner in many directions and every aspect of life!!
20. Last, but not the least, (ha.haa.haaaa) read my blog…’one post every day’…YOU ARE SURE TO WIN!!
peacefully and successfully yours....rams!! (Health Psychologist)
Dear all…THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO FEEL DEPRESSED AND DOWN!!
Why are we depressed and down?...Are we Useless?...In what way?...In comparison with others?...Why we compare ourselves with others?
Why we want to achieve big in life?...So that others think ‘wow, what a guy he is!’?...Why should we bother about what others think?
...Continue reading
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