'sir, my daughter studying in college is in love with a boy. I am worried, scared and feel painful. What to do?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR PARENTS WHO ARE SCARED OR WHO THINK THAT THEIR DAUGHTER OR SON IS IN LOVE WITH SOME ONE...

Typical Indian movie parents like reactions will only lead to everything that the parent does not want to hear and see. So, parents need to exercise patience, positive emotions-thinking and behaviours. Planning strategies and negative thinking will only lead to damages.

Creating a social environment at home where in the ward can speak and discuss any issue under the sky with the parents and siblings openly at ease without any inhibition, doubts, discomfort etc is important. If such an environment is not there then the parents have to put in little more effort to handle the case, that is all!!...Nothing is impossible!!

They may be told to remain as good friends for about 8 to 10 years from the day they have proposed (irrespective of the age at which they propose) without any physical intimacies, promises and commitments...support each other in their passion, goals, ambitions...understand their likes, dislikes etc...

also they may be told to design an exercise regime which has all the five types of exercises, eat healthy foods, do yoga, meditation etc...they may learn it properly and practice...

1. 8 to 10 years is a good time-endurance for the two to decide their priorities, path, likes and dislikes, matching personality traits, place of studies and work, their definition of life-living-sharing of responsibilities etc

2. If the attraction is due to weak body/mind then the healthy food and exercises-yoga-meditation will make their body and mind strong, come out of the obsession etc.

3. During this long time, the changes in the climate, environment, place of living, the people they meet might change their minds/understanding of life, people, living, priorities etc.

4. Growing, aging, maturing of body and mind makes them understand relationships, life, world around, living etc.

5. Parents and siblings of both sides get adequate time to understand both, their relationships, their relatives, family belief systems, culture, traditions etc.

6. Even after this period if both of them love each other and decide to make a living together, make a family, produce children, rear them etc then nothing can be done. It is better to allow them with green signal.

7. 20 to 30 is the period when people suffer in new job, new place, new people, new culture, new climate, new projects, new teams and team members, new production targets, adaptation challenge to food-language, ambitions, goals, promotions etc.

If they get married then handling new person, making the relationship, handling the new rituals, relatives, ceremonies, family environment, pregnancy, child birth, rearing etc becomes a big additional burden which is highly stressful, burning out etc. So, it is wiser to settle down in job and then take on the other stressful responsibility of marriage and related stuff.

There are many....

1. Who marry before getting a job, settling down, against the parents, suffer a lot and some are not able to endure this process.

2. Those who make decisions, promises and commitments in haste, in emotions, obsession etc realize that they made wrong decisions in life and either leave or accept and pull on with heavy compromises, sacrifices and suffering.

3. If one feels 'wrong selection' and the other feels 'right selection' then it leads to complications.

So, 'patience' and 'time' are two important factors in decisions related to love, marriage, home-making etc.

Peacefully yours...rams...