'sir, my son is childish at 22 and not getting any job! My daughter is not willing to marry!...My another daughter is unable to cope up with married life!'

Dear all....THIS IS FOR PARENTS...AND FUTURE PARENTS...

At our homes we have seen parents cribbing 'Woff. My son/daughter is not grown and matured to his/her age!...Still behaving immature and childish. Not being responsible. I don't know what to do!'

The blame goes to the parents for not exposing them to the Developmental Tasks appropriate to each stage in life so that they learn, acquire the skill sets and experience to face the challenges of daily living by themselves.

When they are exposed to the challenges unarmed with their learning value, resources like knowledge, skills and past experience, they fear and avoid. Blaming them is of no use. Forcing them results in catastrophe.

So, every challenge is a training and we have to expose, teach and train them to face it, so that the child moves on to the next stage in life comfortably and smoothly.

In general the stages are up to 15 days from birth, 2 years, 4 years, 8 years, 13 years, 18 years, 40 years, 60 years and above 80 years.

The above shows that we face different challenges in life in all dimensions at different stages in life. The challenges from inside are due to growing, maturing, aging, evolving, ailments, sickness, diseases, surgeries etc. The challenges from outside are due to social systems like schools, colleges, hostel living, organisations, job, threats from society, marriage, family, relationships, people etc.

Some sudden life changes like death of parents, siblings, grand parents, spouse, loss of job, failure of marriage, breach of trust between close relationships, love failure, break-ups etc make a person mature faster and they become early maturer. When not exposed and trained adequately to face the developmental tasks (challenges appropriate to the age), they become late maturer.

This is why people are not ready to go to school, colleges, hostels, not able to make healthy relationships, not able to get jobs ('mama boys'), not ready to marry, not able to cope up with marriage life, not able to handle multiple things like job, family, relationships, break up easily, get depressed, unable to handle child birth and grooming, unable to handle shocks like loss of job, death of family members etc.

So, the crux is...

On the name of giving love and affection the children should not be made 'not grown and matured' to age, not made dependent on others for trivial things of that age, scared to face the challenges and world. They should be exposed and trained to face the challenges of future in all dimensions of life.

Peacefully yours...rams...