THIS IS FOR ALL LOVERS BELOW 25 YEARS OF AGE WHO FEAR THAT THEIR LOVE MAY NOT BE SUCCESSFUL.....

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL LOVERS BELOW 25 YEARS OF AGE WHO FEAR THAT THEIR LOVE MAY NOT BE SUCCESSFUL...

Some time back one girl was about to jump from fourth floor of a hostel and i had to interfere...

asked her the reason for the decision to finish life...(remember...no organism wants to die...all organisms fight against the threat to survive and die only when the threat engulfs the organism or the SWOT analysis and fight against the threat fails...so, if some one voluntarily wants to finish the life, then their mind is not stable and healthy!)

she said 'I am in love with a boy of opposite religion. Every one is against. But i can not forget him. They are not allowing even to talk on phone. I don't think i can ever get married to him and live in this place!...and i can't think of living without him!'

I asked the same question that you are getting in your mind now...'by killing yourself how can you live with him?...If he is also like you then imagine his condition...what will he do?...you want him also to kill himself?...If you want to live with him, then you have to be alive...if you die you can not live with him?'

She said, 'yes, but if i can't marry him then how can i live with him and what is use of living without him and how can i live without him? My parents are already searching for a boy for marriage and i am scared!'

I had a chat with her for some time and during the talks i came to know that she wants to become an IAS and it is her dream. Knowing her intelligence levels and skill sets it was obvious that with little coaching she can easily clear of civil services exam and interview. Then i told her....

'Listen!...Once you clear your IAS and become a Collector of a place, both your parents and his parents will come running and fall at your feet saying You are God to them. They will themselves arrange marriage for you in a grand manner and make you live with him!'....Her eyes went glowing while hearing these words...she asked 'Sir, is it true?' with a hope of confidence in life...

I said 'Then what!!...All indian parents (in fact teachers, lovers...all of them) want their children to get a good job, status job and earn a lot so that they can tell every one proudly that their child is the best!...Indian parents all live in FEAR PSYCHOSIS and so if you become powerful, then they would like to take shelter under your power for their safety and security....they also want love and affection from you...they expect you to look after them...they also expect that you will educate your siblings too and take up some family financial responsibilities...so, if you look after them nicely, get their dreams fulfilled of wants, needs and comforts in life then they will not be a hurdle in your passion or life or marriage etc'

On hearing this she became confident and said with glowing eyes and great confidence 'Sir, you are great sir!...You are perfectly right!...No one told me like this!..Every one shouted at me saying 'you have come here to study. You are here not to love. Padikkiara vayasula love yenna vendi kidakku!!...kirukku pudichhirukkaa!!...veetla konnuruvaanga!!..College ai vittu thookkeeruvaanga!'...Parents were only beating me. You are the only one who said it correctly sir. I will not kill my self anymore. I will now work towards my dream of becoming an IAS. Thank you so much sir!'

I also told her, 'See, you are from a poor back ground. There are soo many poor children like you who are brilliant but unable to spend money for a good higher education. There are many orphans too. There are many old people who are like orphans without any one to look after them. Once you become Collector you will sign many contracts. You will be powerful person with great financial powers. You tell the contractors 'I will grant more money. You build an orphanage or home for poor children or old age home or school for special children. We will name it after you. You look after it. I will help you!'....this way you can make many places for needy people...you can light lamp in the life of many...you can save and uplift many children. Also you can change the life of many contractors in being corrupt to being Mother Teresas in a different way!'

These words also brought more light and confidence in her eyes and she said with lots of courage and conviction "SSSSSSssssir I will do it!!!!...One day this will happennnn!!...Thank you so much sir...soooo nice of you!!"

Today she is on her move in this direction. I am sure she will do it. I can imagine one day she becoming a Collector, making the contractors build such homes for needy people, naming them after them, making them to look after those institutions, that way she will change the contractors for social cause and teach them to make them realise the real meaning of life....the happiness in living for others and not the pleasure in making money and wealth in a wrong way!!

Some times when i meet her she says 'sir, more than your words that both the parents will agree for marriage, it is that i can change the world, i can change the corrupt people in this country in a positive way without creating negatives anywhere with anyone, i can light lamp and hope in the life of many children that is making me to move towards my goal sir. That was an enlightening moment for me!!..I will always be grateful to you for that sir!'

So, girls and boys....remember...if your love has to become successful...if your parents have to agree...if you have to live together with the blessings of parents, families and all members and relatives...then...then...then...

1. Work towards your goals and passion, and not towards your love and moving step by step in your love, physical intimacies etc.

2. Become an achiever, get a good job, make more money and wealth, show to your parents that you can do it, get power and status, then both the parents will agree

3. To become successful in love, you need to be loving your parents and all around, you need to have lots of patience, courage and conviction, calm and cool, use only positive methods and not negative strategies you learn from movies, news papers, books, friends' lives, tv serials etc.

4. Only when you are behind love and lover and not responsible enough to become independent and an achiever they will all hate you, fight with you, be against your love and lover, do all sorts of negative things against you and your lover as you see in movies.

5. Look after your parents with lots of love and affection after your become an achiever and look after the life of your siblings in studies etc then ask your parents 'Can i get married to him/her?' ...they will happily agree!!!

All the best....

Peacefully yours....rams...health psychologist.