Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS...(children can also read to educate their parents who are 'illiterate' in real sense without knowing the following!!)
Old age homes are increasing and almost every one blames the youngsters of today!!
Let us analyse who land up in such old age homes?...Who land up alone, lonely and caged or jailed in their own homes?
Only those parents who spoil the peace at home! Who are not able to adapt with the new people at home! Who are not able to adapt with people younger to them! People who are rigid, authoritative, egoistic ('I am the queen here! Every one should listen to me otherwise they can leave 'my' house!' 'I am the king here! Every one should listen to me otherwise they can leave my house!' 'I have been the head of the family and i will continue to be!' 'I am more experienced than you in life, so listen to me!!' 'I am more knowledgeable than you, so listen to me!'), autocratic, dictators, tyrants, self centric, outdated, parents who are not mentally strong, scared of changes, scared of unknown future, who think we can live without changing with the changes outside), those who are not bothered about happiness of others, who do not respect the feelings-value systems-morals-ethics of others, who do not want to expand, who do not want to change, who feel 'i am always right!', who have not groomed their children correctly, who have treated their parents wrongly in front of their children, who do not know how to adapt to others, who do not know how to live peacefully-happily-healthily, who do not hear (forget about listening) what others say at home, who are not matured, who are only aged but not socially matured, who think about their children that they are not matured, not clever and can be easily cheated etc (then what did they do to their children all these years??..only increasing their height and weight???)..........Only such people are transferred to Old age homes or left alone at their old homes all alone!!
What is the wrong in keeping such anti social elements aside, to live with people of their age, their type of mentality, their type of definition of life, their way of living?...They are the reason for losing what they wanted in life!!...The culture their forefathers or 'foremothers' have created about 'daugher-in-law and mother-in-law' stories and perceptions is the reason!!...Don't they have common sense as to what to believe and follow in life?...The possessive attachments they have created with their children is another reason!!
Will any boy or girl keep their parents away if the parents are loving, adaptable, understanding, matured, supporting their children?
Every one knows that elderly parents or in-laws are helpful, supportive, good emotional support, essential for giving love and affection and grooming their children correctly, reliable to look after the home and children when they are at work, good security at home for them-children-and all assets at home, a good asset to make a house a home with their fun, memories, laughter, a good resource of happiness, knowledge, wisdom, relationships, they make the family complete, if they are not there at home then a vacuum is created at home and something gets missed certainly, they are good supports at house chores too etc.
So, will any one say NO to elderly people?...Will any one sacrifice such a great scarce resource of today?...If they are ready to sacrifice then what does it mean?...It only means that they have become such a big head ache, pain and danger to the peace of family and grooming of children!!
Every one wants peace. The boy or girl lived with the parents either peacefully or by force of dependence during childhood. So, he or she knows whether the parents are sources of peace or not.
There are many personality disorder parents who can not be peaceful and can not allow others also to be peaceful!!
They need to be treated and are unfit to live with others. They have been made parents by the belief in our culture that 'every one born in this world has to get married and produce a family!'...Who is bothered about whether they are matured, ready and capable for marriage and making a family, producing children and grooming them etc. How many of us know about 'Personality Disorders' and their effects on spouse, children, peace in family, life and living etc?...Even after marriage many couple become wrong parents due to their life experiences after marriage or childbirth. Life is a long journey and many things change people into what they are, make them believe strongly in what they believe in etc.
If some one thinks that the other person has to be changed, we can not change them by standing different and outside their social envelope, by advising, by not following our own advises or preaching, by being bossy, by whipping, scolding, ridiculing, by belittling others, by orders, by demands, by controlling, by quoting rules-regulations-policies-culture-heritage-traditions etc, by scaring or inducing fears, by superstitions etc.
People can be changed by making ourselves an important person, important resource, a source of inspiration, a source of motivation, a source of goodness, a source of happiness, a source of peace, a source of good resource in multiple dimensions in their life, by making ourselves vital in their life, my making them to love us, by making them feel that their life will be a failure or full of voids or they will miss us without us in their every day living and life etc. By making ourselves like this in their life, they will automatically change. We need not tell anything or do anything to change them. Goodness, good health, good life style behaviors and habits are contagious. They spread to others also and slowly form a new culture!!
Tell me....if a parent thinks like the way written below then will he or she go to an old age home?...
'My children are my world. Their happiness, peace, health, growth is my happiness, peace, health and growth. I need to support my children in their ambitions, endeavours, goals. So, i will go with them wherever they go. The entire world is my village. The home they live is my home. I want them and my grand children to be good achievers. I want to make them think in a positive way that i can not be spared from their lives. I want to bring a good culture at home and teach my grand children good life style so that peace-health-happiness is filled in their lives and home always. I want to be the nucleus in their lives. I want them to be independent of me and still love me and feel i am their fulcrum of life. I do agree that change is the only thing that does not change and i have to adapt with the changes. Changes in culture, way of living, working etc are not in my hands, unstoppable and i need to adapt to the positives and learn a lot from the youngsters. They are more knowledgeable, exposed to the latest knowledge, wisdom, methods, life processes, early matured etc than me. So, i want to learn all the positives to reap the benefits of being happy and peaceful. I want to feel young. I don't want to feel old. I want to mingle with people of all ages at home freely. Every one will accept me only if i am in their mode, mood and matching level of communication, fun, entertainment etc. I am not an old person to be sidelined. I am a small boy to be played with and mingled. I am not a pain. I am a fun!!'
So, the crux is...
1. Old age homes are increasing not because of youngsters, but because of rigid, immature, un-adaptable, personality disorder parents!!
2. It is better to treat them and if not possible then leave them there to bring peace at home!
3. Let us learn to live happily and peacefully so that children consider us as a good and important source at home and keep us with home.
4. Let us treat our elderly people at home properly so that the children at home learn how to treat us later.
5. Let the decision of leaving the elderly people at old age home be a collective decision including that of children at home.
Peacefully yours....rams....
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