"Telling or showing the children what they should do is not good parenting...doing what we want them to do is good parenting!!"

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS AND FUTURE PARENTS...

- waking up the children early in the morning with beating and shouting

- making them do routines and chores (??)

- sitting with them in the morning and evening, breaking our heads to check their homework, help them in doing it, teaching them, monitoring them, giving additional home works, sending them for tuition, buying books etc

- telling them to do this and that

- shouting at them all the time at the peak of the voice and emotions

- directing them and controlling them

- supervising them, sniffing them, policing them

- Listing the big list of DON'ts and ensuring they don't do them

-assuming that they don't know anything, they will get spoiled if not monitored/policed/sniffed, we as parents only have to do all the above...

-finding out what other children are doing and comparing with their children

- "These are the things which a good parent should do!"...thinking like this

These are the worst parenting styles!...In this case the parents will get heart attack, no peace, no happiness, parenting becomes a big burden, pain and responsibility...life becomes a burden...marriage becomes a pain...home becomes a place of fights and frustration...

The truth is "children don't listen...they observe and do what the parents do"

- so, we need to get up early, we need to sleep early, we need to eat in time, we need to eat healthy stuff, we need to follow healthy cooking and life styles

- we need to go for a 5 mt quickie run (without anxiety and hurry) or if time permits a long brisk walk

- we need to do yoga and meditation

- we need to play

- we need to sit and study, not their books, but our or some useful books

- we need to go to places of knowledge, intelligence, wisdom, skills

-pursuing some art form as passion and hobby

- we need to convert our homes NOT into TEMPLES, but into Temple of Learning, Temple of Knowledge, Temple of Goodness, Temple of Good Social well-being, Temple of Wisdom, Temple of Positive Vibes, Temple of Good Health (whereas we have made our homes Temples but remaining 'temples' listed above are missing...so, they have become "Temples of Life Style Diseases of the Body, Mind and Social Relationships, Negative Vibes, Frustration, Sadness, Hate"

- we need to be good examples, good mentors, good guides (when they seek guidance!...when we create a conducive social climate they will automatically seek help, guidance, ideas, mentoring!), good friends by taking them to places or people who can answer their queries, guide and groom them better

So, GOOD PARENTING IS 'NOT' WHAT OUR PARENTS OR GRAND PARENTS DID!!...GOOD PARENTING IS WHAT OUR ANCESTORS DID!!

Peacefully yours...rams ....health psychologist...