Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL PARENTS...A GOOD MOTIVATOR POST FOR ALL THOSE HIGH IQ STUDENTS WHO THINK DIFFERENTLY...
Recently one middle aged couple and their son came to me...the couple said "sir, we are a lower middle class family from andhra. He is our son. He is highly intelligent and did MBBS through govt quota under govt fees. He has been good, attending to his patients in clinic and going to his hospital work also. He has no bad habits and is a real good boy!!...Some time back he went with his friend to himalayas. After coming back he has changed a lot. He does not go to his clinic and hospital properly. He keeps going for some satsung. He is refusing for marriage. People say with out an MD it is useless. But he is refusing to go for higher studies. He says he will go for spiritual studies. He has become like a sanyasi. Whatever we do or say, he says all wrong. We are sad and worried if he is going mad! We have another son and daughter to get married! He says he will one day go and join with his guru in himalayas!...Please do something to change his mind so that he becomes a normal person!!"
I turned at the 30 year old boy. He was calm, cool and smiling. He said, "sir, my parents have lots of expectations from me as a son and a doctor. That is why they are shattered and unhappy when they heard about my future plans. They want me to work hard and earn a lot. They have big plans of making big wealth out of me. They want to use my money to settle the other two children. Through my marriage they want to get lots of dowry to become rich. I don't like all these. I don't like the way people live here. I am not happy and peaceful being like them. I have been blessed by my guru at himalayas (he showed me a youtube video!!
🤔) and i am peaceful and happy while being with him. So, i am going to go. No one can stop me. Of course, i don't want my parents and siblings to be unhappy. So, i will work and earn for some time. Then i will go!!"
I gave a smile at both the parents and the boy. Asked the boy "what is your ultimate aim?"....He answered "To become a member of the mutt and do service!!"
"do service to whom?"
"to poor people?"
"where?"
"at my guru's place near himalayas!"
I stood up, gave a pat at his back, said "well done!! I am happy to hear that!!..I am extremely happy to hear that you want to do service for the poor!!"....i could see the boy feeling happy that i accepted his views and concept of life and living. The parents were looking at me wondering 'what is happening here!!...We came for changing his mind but he has changed the mind of the counselor!!...and the counselor also appears to be a cracked nut!!'
I sat back on my chair and said...
"Hai brother. You are highly intelligent. People like you are required for this society and country to do 'service'. Let us assume your 'service' is a product. If you want to give your product free or sell your product, you need to carry out a market research or survey to find out the potential customers or deserving customers, the place they live in more concentration etc. Is it not??...So that you can serve for more people and many will get benefited. Tell me where you have more concentration of customers for your spiritual service?"
He thought for a second and said "Here in villages, towns and cities!".
"Do you have more customers at himalayas?"
"No! but many come there and i want to be with my guru always!!"
"How many in our community go to himalayas? How many have the time and are rich to go there?..Poor people remain here. Only rich or upper middle class go there, that too only few!...Also, you seem to be selfish and insecure when you say i want to be with my guru always! Why don't you take his blessings and start an ashram here, a branch of the mutt here, may be later after getting experience of working under him, so that many come to you, those who are not able to go there come to you and you can do spiritual service to them!!"
I could see the boy thinking!!...Parents were wondering what is happening here and were observing the things quietly with worries on their face.
"I can see you thinking if the people will accept you as their guru?"
The boy was nodding his head with a smile saying 'yes...'.
"You said your guru has blessed you. It appears that he knows you by face and identified you as a potential disciple! Then what is the problem. You work hard. Earn lots of money. Buy a big land. Build an ashram near the village side or hill side where you get plenty of pure air, cool climate, lots of trees and gardens. Like this why don't you create a heaven here, do all your spiritual service amidst the people who need them the most, You yourself are saying that they are not living correctly, their way of thinking and living is wrong etc. Then this is the place where you need to do your service not at himalayas where no one is there!...So, live here, change these people, make them live peacefully and happily and make them spread this culture every where. If possible create more disciples and spread them all over this country, make them create more ashrams and mutts, make them live amidst the common people, so that every one here lives peacefully and happily like the vedic times while they work amidst technology!!"
I could see some glow in his eyes but still i could see some hesitation!!...But there was no light in the eyes of the parents!!
"Are you wondering if people will accept you?"
i could see him immediately answering 'yes sir!'
"Good that you said it. First of all, know that no one is a guru from his birth!!...Every one has become a guru some time in their life while growing. Some during childhood and some during mid life. Did you ever wonder as to why there are not many lady gurus in this country?? This is because of our conservative society. You see, your parents are not allowing you to become spiritualistic and become a guru or disciple. They feel spiritual knowledge is not required for family and social living which is wrong...they don't know that spiritual knowledge is the first and foremost required for a family or social or organisational living/working. They feel spiritual people are sanyasis who remain unmarried and live far away from society and people in forests, hills and mountains. They feel they are unfit for family life and should not get married to remain pure or holy. But your parents will go to them saying 'swamiji' with lots of bhakthi and respect, to seek their blessings, and counselling of their marital issues (from an unmarried!!). But if i ask your father 'what about your son becoming a spiritual guru?' they will not agree for that. They might give a reason that 'gurus are born and not made, so every one can not become a guru!'"
The boy was silently listening. Parents had no option but to remain silent and watch, as they have come inside, and probably wanted to see the end result or probably had confidence in me!!
"So, you think people will listen to your guru and not you. You are just a doctor. Not a guru!!"
He said 'yes...'
"People will listen to you if you are highly educated. May be in spiritual sciences or philosophy too! They will listen to you if they feel cool, calm, peaceful, happy, are able to live in harmony without problem at home and society, feel divine in your presence. They all know that you keep going to himalayas, so they know that you are blessed by some one divine!!...So, they will accept you!!...May be you can change your attire also like a sanyasi if you wish to be. Otherwise, let them think what ever you are. How does it matter?...Your aim is to do service...Let that be as a doctor or a counselor or a spiritual person or a guru or a leader as per the image or identity or name they give you...how does it matter, when you are not bothered about your image, ego, identity, fame etc?... if your aim is to spread peace, good health and happiness how does it matter what they think about you, who you are etc?"
He seemed to be convinced and said 'yes sir!'
"All gurus or spiritual leaders are highly intelligent people. They are like you. If allowed by their parents they also would have joined IITs or IIMs, become CEOs or famous doctors, engineers, lawers etc. But they turned their life to spiritual side to do full time service. So they are what they are!!...Why don't you be different?...You do MD or MS!! I know you may not be interested and agree to my suggestion (he nodded saying 'yes'!)...you will say that they will teach surgery etc which you are not interested...i agree with you...but you read them only to complete the course, as you are not going to do any surgery etc, but spend that time usefully for reading about the fundamental element of living oranisms...THE CELL!!...You might get more and more knowledge about the reasons for all the agony, diseases, aging issues and death, inside this cell. So, you go inwards and find the solutions for all problems of humanity while others go outside in the universe to find solutions for the problems of human beings. As you are listening to the gurus also, you will have knowledge of both, inwards and outwards!!"
"But sir, i will get only a structured thinking by doing all these studies. I will not have an expansive and free thinking!"
"What is presently happening?...Your brain is empty with respect to this knowledge. So, it is getting filled with what others say. You will again get obsessed thinking...unidirectional thinking...by going to one guru, you will get only one way of thinking...all other directions are shut down...so it is a structured thinking only! ...you get cocooned!!...You become like a horse whose vision is kept in only one direction. Instead you read all types of spiritual books...listen to all spiritual gurus...read all holy books...read all science books...don't get obsessed with any one or any thing...now only you are expanding into the vast...expanding in to the universe of knowledge and spiritual wisdom and freedom... you will learn a lot...your eyes and mind will get opened in all directions...you will get clarity...you will yourself understand what is the truth...you will get enlightened...you will get blessings of all gurus. Gurus may be talking science or philosophy or both. But when you read and go deep into the cell you will unravel many myths of human life and its creation!!...So, what about doing an MD or MS in Neuro Sciences?...Most of the problems of people are with their brain, mind, thinking etc. So, studies in this direction will add value to your understanding of human beings, their minds, their feelings, thoughts and behaviours. Or may be Psychiatry which again will add to your service to humanity!...What is your opinion?"
He said 'you seem to be right sir!'
I felt happy. 'Yaa...when you are highly educated, people will believe you. They will agree what you say may be right. More qualifications you add, more accreditation you get, more people will accept what you say is right!...While practicing as a doctor, prescribing medicines, you also do your spiritual and philosophical service to your patients to make them feel healed, peaceful and happy!'
"So, go for higher studies. Work hard as a doctor. Your profession itself is a service to humanity. With the money you earn, make an ashram or mutt or whatever you call as, but a beautiful and peaceful place to be, do your service with the blessings of all gurus around...as a doctor or a disciple of your guru or a guru by yourself or a counselor...in what ever name or attire...keep visiting your gurus all over the world on hills, mountains and forests...but be anchored at the place where people live amidst diseases of body and mind!..Spread your ashrams or mutt all over the country. Don't look at fame or wealth. Don't get attracted or feel threatened by the power mongers from all walks of life. Just do your service in silence!!"
The boy felt happy. He said 'thank you sooo much sir. Now i have clarity. Yes, i will go for higher studies and move ahead in life the way you said. Thank you soo much again sir'
I shook hands with him and requested him to be outside.
I told the parents "Be with him. Don't try to change him or fight with him. Then he will run away and you will lose him for ever permanently!! Now he has agreed to do higher studies. Let him move ahead in his life. As time passes, as he grows, some more clarity and maturity will come. Most of the high IQ people end up like this in search of meaning of life, purpose of life etc after some time or even at a young age. Some live both organisational and spiritual family life. Some leave the family before or after marriage and join with the gurus, ashrams or mutts. So, every one is not alike. Every one can not become a politician...every one can not become a lawyer...every one can not become a doctor or an engineer...Every one can not live the same married life...their profession, definitions of life and every day living may not match with the needs and demands of a traditional family living...so they may not opt for it...(olden day life was different from what is there now!)...So, every one is different. So, please keep yourself calm, maintain peace at home, be loving towards him, let him prepare for his MS or MD, complete his course and then we will see how things shape up and move. Being patient, showing love and care, supporting the dreams and giving the children the time to mature and grow are the solutions for most of the issues in life with any one and anything. So, wait and watch!! But one thing is sure, you have given birth to a good human being, he will make big in life, will bring the fame and wealth that you are dreaming about, but in a different way!! So, your dreams will get fulfilled, don't worry!!"
The parents were not so convinced. But they felt it is better to cooperate rather than losing him permanently. Also their other two children are not good in studies and their horoscopes are not soo bright and good. So, they can't lose their only ray of hope by being impatient!!
In this case parents will feel happy, contented, fulfilled, when he does higher studies, starts practicing and earning, fulfilling the money needs of the home (he initially said he will work and earn for some time to meet the needs of his family) and starts becoming famous, when people praise him and his parents for giving birth to such a boy!!
Aim of counselling was to motivate him to do higher studies, to practice his profession as a doctor, to live with his parents, to contribute for uplifting of his family, to support his parents, to make him live amidst the people and society and uplift them... and not to allow him to run away to mountains permanently!!...This has been achieved!!
Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!
