Who is responsible for increasing number of old age homes...parents or children?

• Hai all...
  
  there are many emotional and biased posts shared in facebook...many articles are also written in mags...that old age homes are on the increase because of irresponsible children (sons!!)...the actual truth is every son and daughter wants to look after the parents...but parents are
  
  1. rigid
  
  2. not adaptable to multicultural and social living
  
  3. emotionally attached to their own places, people, caste, religion, way of living and force or expect the children also to live the defunct, extinct agrarian social living and put the blame on children as blaming others is part of our best culture....so, old age homes are on the increase because of immature and un-evolved (i am not good in english!!), primitive parents!!
  
  

  So, children, wake up and strengthen your back bone to be vocal...change your parents or make them know this...don't spoil your life on the name of 'sacrifices' and 'compromises'...killing your life is not called sacrifice or compromise...tell them to come to you wherever you are to get looked after...

   

  rams...

   

  some comments and my remarks are below...
• "Disagree wid u. First up no one is blaming children for d increase in old age home culture. The two main reason for dis is one, d disintegration of d joint family system and two, d single child or two children norm. Earlier wid d joint family system elders did not have to think of old age home since dere would b one or two people working locally who took care of all elders in d family. However, once tat disappeared n wid d small family culture coming in n wid children venturing away from their roots in search of greener pastures, dere is no one to take care of parents in their old age. It would b criminal to uproot dem from their roots. Children r not at fault but neither r parents. Old age homes are an inescapeable reality and honestly, a good option where old people can care n support each other. Old age homes must b run by people who genuinely wanna address d concerns of old people n not merely as a commercial venture."

   
"Problems are never one sided, Parental rigidity is fast disappearing as new parents have grown in nuclear family themselves , transferable jobs of parents further prepare them to uproot. The problem area are total uprooting from country, getting totally cut off from friends and family , sickness with ageing and so on. Actually no body is sacrificing anything today, their are selfish children and their are self centred parents, balancing goes on wherever it can. Old age home if run properly can be a better home , society is changing very fast and how long it can maintain its bonding and fabric that has to be seen."
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Manickarajan Ramasubramanian good one santosh...claps and caps on your hairy head!!...social systems evolve out of needs and survival like any other thing.Old age homes are the best option. My post was just to stop the perception of some primitive people who spread such feelings (my uncle tells this often...hmmm...purinchukka maattengareleppaa!!)
 


Manickarajan Ramasubramanian Arun kumar sir, thank you sir for the enriched post with full of experience and wisdom...we live in a different community...my relatives live in a different community...still in the village sides and semi-urban sides, the people are the same, with blaming mentality or they plan it in such a way that their children stick on to them...result is many engineers are in the kitchens and toilets...
" the feeling and expectation that we have children only and only to take care of us is the problem! This expectation leads to so many evils in society like preferring a male child, trying to plan children's futures to suit the parents, sacrificing everything for children and then blaming the children. Once we stop having children just or primarily to take care of us, things may get better."


Manickarajan Ramasubramanian changing and being with the new society keeps us with them and surrounded by people and our children....unlearning all that redundant ones we learnt is the way to be peaceful, happy and not being lonely...
 
 "Expectation is d root cause of all problems. Do our best for our children widout expecting anything in return will lead to happiness. Children will do everything possible for parents but to leave a lucrative job away from parents just to take care of dem may not b feasible n shld not b expected too. When healthy n young one should plan for old age, where will v live, who will cook wen v r old n unable to handle cooking, how will v get timely medical assistance, how will v pass tym etc etc must b adressed with full awareness tat children will not b able to discharge dese responsibilities. To brand children as selfish just bcox dey r not able to do so would b cruel n unfair. Children have a career to build n a commitment to dere partner n children to fulfil. NO EXPECTATION NO DISAPPOINTMENT."