Who are psychologists?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Psychology is not about learning to be crooked, learning how to cheat people, how to be strategic etc.

It is not about probing the mind to exploit a person.

All these are negatives which are stealing away our peace, happiness, physical well-being, mental well-being and social well-being, it has made us to be mad animals, it has made us to perceive that life is a hell, it has always kept us in anxiety, stress, depressed, frustrated, angry, sad etc. We have learnt all these negatives from our parents, society, people around at home and outside, schools, colleges and organisations. Everyone is adding more and more of such negative things in our life every second. So, our life is becoming miserable every second. We are losing the precious life time of just few thousand days on this earth. We can not get this birth again. You might say it is the run towards being successful, but actually not, what is the point in gaining anything when the happiness you get out of that achievement goes off in no time, you get all diseases on body and mind, and lose all that you have earnt in being this mad animal in no time and realise at the end of life that you have not lived properly!!

This is what is making us to believe that life is a battle, life is miserable, life is a struggle etc, become depressed, become mentally weak, lose self confidence, lose self esteem, feel insecure and take asylum under caste groups, religious groups etc for food security, social security etc, who exploit us further.

Learning psychology for understanding the human behaviours (not for earning money, getting a job or getting promotions, or getting fame, authority, power etc) is for unlearning all these negatives, coming out of all these crookedness, coming out of this negative strategic thinking, exploiting and cheating people and relationships, learning about sooooo many things including how to respect people, how to be unconditional, how to value relationships, how to be devotional on job and in social relationships, how people and our socialisation are precious, what is the real meaning of life, how to make this earth beautiful with people and relationships, how to live peacefully, how to live happily, how to enjoy this world and life, how to be physically healthy, how to be mentally healthy, how to be a good human being, how to be a radiating personality, how to be successful in profession, life, relationships etc using positive methods etc.

So, psychologists who have learnt this subject for understanding the human behaviours for above positive purposes will not be having all the negatives listed above!!

All of us think that we know psychology or behaviour of every one, all at home, all our friends, peers, subordinates and bosses, we are experts in psychology, mind reading, probing personalities etc. But truly we know only crooked things and negatives. Not positives, positive side of people and life.

In fact, psychology should be taught in schools and every one should learn this to make their life peaceful, healthy, happy, successful using positive methods and meaningful!!

Peacefully yours...rams...Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL LOVERS

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL LOVERS...For continued intense emotional interactions

1. Spending value added time with other person whenever the other person needs is important for continued intense interactions!!

2. Showing lots of caring, love and affection continuously is important!!

3. Making the other person to feel special always is important!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN GOD!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN GOD...

It is festival season. Now dasara, navrathri, vijayadasami, ayutha pooja, saraswathi pooja, durga pooja and what not!!...Shortly diwali. Then Christmas, new year and it is all festivals, festivals and festivals!!

Generally we get obsessed and feel emotional when we think about god and overdo all the rituals and beliefs. We don't know the meaning and purpose of many. We just follow what we have learnt. We don’t sleep well. Don’t eat well, at the right time, miss meals. We work overnight. No rest. We travel, visit or stress too much in socialization. To an extent of spoiling our peace, happiness, physical and mental well-being!!

Last year, after all these festivals one of my relative lady got admitted in hospital due to high sugar levels, cholesterol, BP, kidney malfunction etc. Heath deteriorated. Lots of money spent. She became thin. Peace at home lost. After discharge from hospital she went off far away to her daughter’s place for some days of rest!!

Is it required?

In fact, most of the ladies of our country are of this type!! They believe that only when they worship like this, goddess Lakshmi or saraswathi and other gods enter their house and bless them, the family, children, husband and every one will be blessed by god and they will prosper!!

Is it so?...

Does prosperity mean only good marks, college admissions, education for children, good jobs, promotion for husband and self, lots of wealth, house, car, jewellery etc?..Is it not good health, peace and long life?...Should we die early?...Should we lose this only one, never again, golden opportunity to live and enjoy this life and earth, so soon??

Do the Gods ask and demand for all these to give their blessings?...We may enjoy doing them, but should it be at the cost of health and life?

Festivals are for bringing unity in diversity. For family people to spend value added time with each other and be together. To learn and initiate some good habits and life styles which will remain for life time. To be good human beings. To remove the negatives from each other, to improve the personal relationships, to keep the home clean and neat with special emphasis on unnoticed and untouched places/issues. To throw away the ego and change the negative personality traits into positives. Not for show off. Not for comparisons.

We can do everything but with correct rest and food. Gods will always bless good human beings as they are almost like them and are representatives of gods on earth. They don’t expect anything from us. If they expect, then they are not gods, which means our belief is wrong, and not gods. The one and only expectation of god is that we should be like him/her, replace him/her on earth, look after ourselves and others, and protect the planet and universe created by him/her for us. Nothing more. This perception will bring in unity, peace, happiness, good health, wealth, fame, authority and success for all with the blessings of god. Gods are not normal human beings to bless those inhumans who kill life and earth and do all sorts of rituals meticulously.

So, let us understand the real meaning, purpose and value of these festivals, focus on converting ourselves into good human beings (i.e as good as god) and do the rituals without compromising the peace and health.

Gods have been living and will live forever in happiness, good health and peace, whether we look after them or not. But we may not!!...Let us also live, and not die!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL STUDENTS AND TEACHERS OF ALL AGES!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL STUDENTS AND TEACHERS OF ALL AGES...

Hai students!! We often see many of our good teachers dying so early in life due to their health compromising thoughts, emotions and behaviours. After their death, we mourn, attend the funeral and come back.

Good teachers are the real gurus who shape, guide and show the right path for students, by being a good teacher, guru, friend, father and a brother.

For every human being born on this earth, in the past, present and future, there will be one teacher who made their life to change in a big way!!

Should these teachers die early?...Should they suffer due to their wrong life style?

If you find one, let us counsel him, change him and make him live long, to shape and change the life of many. This is the actual and real seva that can be done to a guru, apart from remembering him as the 'change agent' of our life and making him feel proud of producing a good student.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

THIS IS FOR ALL WHO WANT TRUE AND PURE LOVE IN THEIR LIFE...THOSE WHO WANT THE REAL WEALTH IN LIFE!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL WHO WANT TRUE AND PURE LOVE IN THEIR LIFE...THOSE WHO WANT THE REAL WEALTH IN LIFE...

Life is a journey...we meet many people in this journey.....it is unavoidable...it is our destiny...we can’t change the destiny...there is no way that we can avoid them...how long they remain, we don’t know... what will be the impact of them on our life, we don’t know...how we will impact their life, we don’t know!!

We like some...we don’t like some...some we like more...some we like less...some we love...some we love for only for some time...some remain with us for entire life...we love them for life time...these are sources of unconditional love...they may be perceptional or real...we love them wherever they are...whether they talk or not...their memories remain forever throughout the life...they leave only pleasant memories!!...they remain physically or virtually...they only improve, help, support happiness, health, peace, contentment, fulfillment, success in all domains of our life.

Mostly everyone will come to us with some exploitational or business (could be financial, emotional, service, legal) needs, wants and expectations...hidden interests or vested interests or agenda, known to them or unknown to them...when they don’t get they will leave us...or when their needs are no more there, then also they will leave...or if they don’t get what they need for the time, money and energy they spend, then also they leave...only those who do not have any needs, wants and expectations will remain...it is rare...only those who understand the value of people and relationships are like this...one meets such very rare people rarely...maybe once in a life time...they will remain in life forever...there will be no disturbance in our peace, happiness, health, comfort zones etc because of them...they are in our life only to give...so, our life will only improve and will not go down...they are highly adaptable...so, it is quite natural that we fall in love with them...we attach the word love to body needs which is actually not correct...this is another reason why our loves are not successful for life time...

It is difficult to find unconditional and devotional love even in committed relationships. Committed relationships are those which are formed by human beings in the social systems they fabricated. But finding an unconditional and devotional love in non committed relationships is truly godly and divine.

We get attached with such sources of unconditional love...love is not what others around (living and non living) give us, it is what we perceive as we get from others...without falling in love one can not perceive love from the sources of love...some may not get such people of unconditional love...probably that destiny has decided that they don’t deserve...because they are not giving unconditional love to others and they are highly demanding, expecting with tons and tons of needs and wants...they probably don’t know that they can even create sources of unconditional love through pets, plants and other living and non living organisms/items...but the truth is without giving unconditional love, without perceiving unconditional love, one cannot get or perceive unconditional love...they will suffer in their relationships due to this reason which they have to bear with...or learn to give unconditional love...unconditional love is the true love...pure love...we cannot remain away from sources of unconditional love if we come across one in our life as we get attracted towards that source...it is unavoidable.

There are only two things in this world. (1) PROVEN THINGS (2) UNPROVEN THINGS. Proven things are proved by science. And scientists will continue ‘proving the unproven’ or ‘disproving the proven ones with new concepts’. It is an endless journey.

Unproven things are only beliefs of different individuals as per their learning, experience, feelings and perceptions. Discussing (it is all about the 'issue') or arguing (is all about who is right. i.e ego. Not the issue) about the unproven things is a waste of time and energy. No one can convince the other as they are not proved by science. What is important is that we should ‘believe’ in unproven things (e.g concept of god, religion, caste etc) in a way that gives us the vitals of this life...i.e...peace, happiness, good physical health, mental health, social well-being with every one, contentment and fulfillment in life, helps us to self actualise and self transcend. But we don’t do this. We believe and get attached to these unproven things due to fears and insecurity...for identity, image, safety, food, clothing, shelter, mental parasitic dependence etc. That is why we don’t get the vitals of life.

Believing that Nature is God and we are part of Nature, understanding the Nature in the right perspective, helps us to protect Nature around, without which we and other life cannot exist on this earth. It also helps us to be self confident and good human beings. Believing in karma helps us to be good human beings. Karma means, if you do good, think good and remain a good human being for you and others, only good things can happen to you, only good people will come in your life, only good relationships will happen with you, if someone tries to do harm to you, they will be destroyed by your good karma.

So, the crux is...

1. Learn to be a source of unconditional love to living and non living, so that you can get one or more of such sources of unconditional love. Only unconditional love can give the vitals of life.

2. We understand, accept and can feel the proven things. We need to understand, perceive the unproven things in a way we get the vitals of life. Otherwise there is absolutely no use of those beliefs for our life. They will only remain as pain and will not allow us to get the vitals in life.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist.

When can we love a person?...How we can become capable of loving some one?...How we can be successful in love?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

If we want to shout on some one, we have to get angry, without getting angry we can't shout on some one. For getting angry we have to think and perceive negatively about that person. This is the story of negative emotions.

Same way if we have to love some one, we have to have positive perceptions and thinking about that person. With negative perceptions we can't love a person!!

Suspecting, monitoring, controlling, demanding, threatening, quoting rules and regulations, quoting duties and responsibilities etc are negative and with these perceptions we can not love some one!!

To love some one our mind has to be free...empty...it should be light...it should be feather like...it should be like a butterfly...it should flutter to fly...no stress...it should not be looking or expecting anything from that person...no needs, wants and expectations...it should not be a parasitic...it should be able to find all its needs by itself...it should love everything around...in the nature....and then perceive positive perceptions about that person...only then we can love a person.

By just behaviours, like we see in movies, without thinking of positives about a person, we can't show positive emotions...and therefore, we can't love a person!!

Any love that emanates from the above, will be unconditional and eternal, real, true, pure and ever lasting!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

All that we do at home are not meant for us...they are meant for automated machines and robots!!

Hai all...THIS IS FOR ALL LADIES...AND FATHERS, BROTHERS, FRIENDS AND HUSBANDS OF PRESENT AND FUTURE...

We have many oldies at home who are in their 50+ who feel that in olden days all ladies did all house hold hard-works and therefore they were healthy (truth is they were mentally not healthy with negative aspects of combined family and no food for their sixth sense!)...ie those presently done by kitchen machine, mixie or wet grinders or those which make all kinds of dry or wet flours or washing machines or gas stove or other house hold or cooking appliances that reduced the hard work of women at home!!

In olden days industrial engineering principles or automation or robotics or software engineering had not developed. Social and family living has been agrarian and family centric. So, they lived like that. But certainly was not fulfilling and completing the contentment and fulfillment domains as they only did reproduction and rearing against all the shackles of family and social living created by our culture. All these house hold works are elements of rearing only.

If some one thinks the above is correct, right, true, best etc then ....sorry...actually these are not meant for ladies or even human beings!!!!!...they are meant to be done by robots and automated machines!!

Human beings are not meant for doing monotonous and repetitive jobs that does not have the element of creativity or thinking or thinking out of the box...in each movement, each time you do it and each and every activity of the work and entire job!!..Such jobs are for machines!!

Human beings are supposed to do...1. physical work that is not having the element of anxiety, postures that do not yield aches, pains, ailments, diseases etc....2. those activities which make them think every second (let me not use the word 'job or work' which have the tone of without involvement, doing them only to earn money for family centric living, doing without interest, liking and desire etc).

This is the crux of Job Design!!...So, what are the ladies at home supposed to do??

They are supposed to all that have creativity!!...Cooking, washing, cleaning etc at home involve thinking element only during initial learning or initial days of marriage or child birth or during the rearing cycle of life. After that it requires very minimal thinking, becomes boring, torturous, monotonous etc. We lose interest and liking for doing them. We only force ourselves to do them for serving husband or children or parents or in-laws or our own selves!!

But the point is we should know how to do all these chores so that we can do them and look after ourselves when the need arises or when we have interest, time and energy to do all these or when survival life situations arise with challenges.

Some men will say 'These were the jobs which kept the ladies fit. These were the jobs which we could also share and show them love and affection. These were the jobs where we enjoyed watching their beauty. Where will we go for food or washed clothes or clean home if they don't do all these?...These were the jobs which helped us to share with them as foreplay to bring them to the mood of reproduction or turn them on. If these things are removed then all these fun, pleasure, elements of love and affection get removed from life!'...

Let us not criticize or blame them for not knowing the true, other elements which will not make them tired, will refresh them, will relieve them from stress of whole day's work, will make them unite like human beings at a higher domain or tantric level and not like animals which is what they know. Whereas house chores only make them tired, get frustrated, keep shouting on each other, lose cool, lose the mood for reproductive acts, lose the relationship, lose interest in family living, marriage, reproduction, child rearing and finally lose the happiness, peace and all domains of health.

These are some reasons why few boys and girls do not want to marry or produce children or live the traditional family life.

So, the best thing is...

1. We need to have a social system wherein few ladies use automated and robotic machines which do all these house chores of every area for many who live there...or something similar to house keeping contracts or like in hotels. You only come home to socialise with other family members whom you don't meet during the day time as they are at schools or colleges or office or at work somewhere and come home only in the evening or night. So we, our minds, should not be and our life should not be bugging with all these mundane, house chores. We only should enjoy living, life, socialization at home with fun, plays, games, arts, supporting each other for all the activities that involve sixth sense...e.g art forms etc.

2. Ladies at home are supposed to learn and teach various art forms, dance, sing, paint, may be architecture etc. They are supposed to do all those five kinds of exercises which works-up their entire body and mind. Like yoga asanas, meditative-living etc. It does not mean they should not do engg or medicine or other professions. It only means all those involving CREATIVITY. Reproduction, rearing etc are only elements of life and not in its entirety. Social life, family life, professional life and personal life are all elements of life and living, but one should not affect the other. We need to modify everything to suit this requirement.

3. This brings exercise to their body, mind, sixth sense. TV serial type of social and family living we have created is not the correct way of living for health, happiness and peace.

4. Till such time we create such a modified and reformed social system which every one can afford to, let us eat only healthy foods that require minimum time, energy and interest to make them and create less utensils to wash. So, that we don't get tired in doing house chores only and get more time to play, enjoy, recreate, spend on creative things.

the crux is all that ladies do at home are not to be done by them, but to be done by machines. They are only supposed to do asanas, art forms and live a creative personal, family, social and organisational life!!

Men are not different from the above!!

Otherwise diabetes, hypertension and other cardiac and life style diseases will quickly kill us and keep us only surviving or existing!!

Peacefully yours....Rams....Psychologist!!

'My son is irresponsible. Not good in studies. I am frustrated!!'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR PRESENT AND FUTURE PARENTS...

The biggest headache our parents have is...”My child is not responsible!!...Not interested in Studies!!!”

This is because....1. They assume that ‘My child is a kid. He/She does not know anything, can get cheated by others easily and can’t do anything properly’ and take all the responsibilitis on their head....What is to be done is they should groom the children to do all their chores by themselves and make them self responsible by teaching without shouting...by training...by encouraging...from age 2 onwards...should delegate some common responsibilities of the house also (but we think ‘we should not load the child!’)...should ask lots of questions and make them think...as their brain is almost empty, the capacity to learn is unlimited, and it makes them to be curious in everything and learn new things...Their creativity is high. We need to encourage this, as it is required to be productive, peaceful, happy in life and in later years to get job, move up in jobs etc.

Children learn by encouragement and not by inducing fear, forcing etc.

Children learn by observation, and not by hearing shouting or advicing words from parents!...So, whatever we want them to do, we have to do!...Whatever we expect them not to do, we should not do!!

Children like playing. So, all teaching should be like fun, game, play, song, dance, drawing etc.There are several youtube videos, tutorials, movies, animations, CBTs on internet. By making them involve more with nature. By reading their books ourselves first, thinking as to how to convert them into practicals, demonstrations etc.

Sitting with them everyday, monitoring them, controlling them, breaking our head in making them do home work, read, write etc is not correct method of grooming and parenting. BRINIGING INTEREST IN THEM TO READ, WRITE AND LEARN ON THEIR OWN IS WHAT IS TO BE DONE BY PARENTS. For this ....1. parents have to read and reading habit has to come inside the house...2. Parents should change their ‘entertainment’ centric living through TV, Mobiles etc to ‘study, reading’ centric living. Parents should focus on improving their creativity through arts (painting, drawing, singing, home decors, learning music, dance etc).

Inspire by being an example. Using inspiring words can only help a little.

Children copy their Role Models. Parents need to be their best role models as they watch them the whole day, throughout their life. This is what they cherish in later years by saying ‘My father (or mother) is my guru!...Role model!..My inspiration! Whatever i am today is all that i learnt from him/her’. If you are not a Role Model for them, then they will select some other person as their Role Models e.g actors, sports personalities, media personalities, those who command authority, power, wealth and fame. They do this basically to create an identity of their own, ego satisfaction, gain attention of others and peer group acceptance. They might select wrong role models also and spoil their life, education, career and family life.

Don’t depend on our schools to develop all the above. Our education is not good. We are great people who have equated MEMORISING = INTELLIGENCE. So, we don’t want competitive exams. They only teach memorizing, curb creativity and teach by controlling, threatening, demanding, forcing. They can’t do all the above as dedicating time by teachers for each individual is not possible. Teachers, politicians, policy makers are also one amongst us, grown by some parents like us, grown in our own education system. So, no point in cursing teachers, schools and our education system.

So, the crux is...from their age 02 onwards...
1. delegate responsibilities...

2. make them to take their own decisions..

3. make them do all their own and common chores at home..

4. teach and train them using positive methods, don’t shout...

5. ask lots of questions, not only related to studies, but also about life, relationships, socialisation, threat perception-evaluation-evasion-countering etc...

5. Be their Role Model...

6. Change your life style from ‘entertainment’ centric living to ‘education and learning’ centric...

7. You do yoga asanas, running, walking, exercising, reading, health enhancing habits, dancing, drawing, singing, painting, playing instruments and all that you want them to do...

8. don’t do health compromising activities, habits...

9. encourage creativity...

10. never compare your child with others as their specially created and made by you. So, make them special and different. Not copies of others. Good habits etc are not to be taught by comparing with other children. But by looking at parents and learning from them. ..

11. do all the chores, duties, responsibilities at home as fun with dance and singing so that they also learn this...this will ensure not to create or add stress in doing chores and thereafter the need for time and energy for stress bursting...so, let us do everything without stress and not creating stress...

12. Let us live physically, mentally and socially healthy so that they also learn the same from us...

13. Let them also learn how to be the best father, mother, sibling so that they also become one in future.

14. Pets at home teaches them unconditional love. So, have pets.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!! (spell check is not working here...so parden the spelling mistakes in typing fast!!..All the above have been typed in 20 minutes!!)

How to handle the people who are demanding and expecting beyond your limits?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

If the other person in relationship with you is demanding, expecting and controlling you more, then strike a deal with that person..."I will do everything that you want me to do but you should also do everything that i want you to do...Let us start...and let me give you the first chance to you, ask me what you want?...But be stand by to know my demand next!!

Automatically that person will fall at your feet!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

we keep breaking our head asking god to give us this and that...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

What ever we deserve will only come to us at different stages in life!!...Whether people or relationships or money or wealth or food or clothing or pleasures or love and affection or caring or help or power or fame or diseases or peace or happiness or physical health or mental health or social well being or contentment or fulfillment...anything...Karma comes back then and there...!!

So, let us make ourselves deserving of all good and best things that can give us peace, happiness, good health and all other vitals of life and living!!

Peacefully yours....Rams...Psychologist!!

stress...and...peace...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Stress is a perception!!

Peace is also a perception!!

When we think positively, we get peace!!

If we think negatively we get stressed!!

There is nothing known as correct, good, incorrect, right, wrong, true or false.

Anything that gives a long term peace is good, correct, right and true perception for us!!

Anything that gives stress, long term or short term, is incorrect or wrong or false or bad for us!!

Life is sooooooooooooooo simple...so, everything is in our hands...how we think...from the thinking or thought emerges the feelings and our behaviours or activities!!...So, our stress or peace is not outside...it is just inside us only!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

a comment....

True sir... experts say our thinking pattern is formed from our childhood... the way we think is as per our exposure gained through our parents, teachers, friends etc... we maintain this thinking pattern and perceive things around us as good or bad... then react accordingly... this reaction creates a counter reaction from the people to whom we react... if its Good.. then we attain happiness followed by mental peace.. else the vicious cycle starts and spoil our peace and happiness... so i feel one must introspect and get into the sub conscious mind to alter their thought pattern... its possible.. but its a gradual process.. in the process we start tasting the happiness.. feel good about our ownselves... so the key is in our mind...surely in the sub conscious mind! why don't we start exploring it.

well done brother!!...Yes, we are a world of things. Others are also several worlds of things. When both interact another world of things are formed. We need to take those which give us peace, happiness, health, contentment and fulfillment and move ahead in life!!...Great points!!...Keep it up!!

THIS IS FOR STUDENTS STUDYING ABROAD AND PEOPLE WORKING ABROAD...PARENTS PLANNING TO SEND THEIR CHILDREN ABROAD FOR EDUCATION, WORK AND LIVING!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR STUDENTS STUDYING ABROAD AND PEOPLE WORKING ABROAD...PARENTS PLANNING TO SEND THEIR CHILDREN ABROAD FOR EDUCATION, WORK AND LIVING!!

1. Is it necessary to go abroad for education and work?

Entire earth and world are created for us to read, learn, work, go around, see, watch, live and enjoy without spoiling and destroying it. So, why to live in a small rat home like a rat? But we should not spoil our family and personal life...health, happiness, peace etc. towards being and living global.

India does not have world class educational institutions or organisations or R&D in all the areas of arts, science, engg or medicine. So, nothing wrong in going to the best of the places for studies and work.

The issues faced are...

1. Students take a huge sum as loan and spend about 5 to 8 years of their prime time in their twenties/thirties to pay back the loans.

2. They also spend a lot on own house through loans and keep working day and night with anxiety and fear in this dynamic employment environment.

3. They have to handle their own education, loans, working day and night, married life, relationship issues between the two, pregnancy, delivery, child grooming till 5 years requires mom's constant care at home, lack of support of anyone, away from parents and siblings, feeling of abandonment, loneliness, missing their place of growing up, family, relatives, friends, memories...memories...memories!!

4. Issues of adapting to food, clothing, extreme climatic conditions, culture, rules and regulations of the new land, changing policies related to visa, employment, economic situation, politics.

How to handle this?

1. All these sufferings are there because our aim is money and wealth. So, we become machines and forget to enjoy in true sense that relaxes our body and mind. Boozing, smoking and dancing in polluted pubs or dance clubs does not relieve the stress. It only dehydrates and makes us tired in body and mind. Social and legal issues come up and spoil the peace and health.

2. Don't go abroad for making big wealth. Go there for good education, learning and enjoying the moments. For this, the grooming from childhood should be towards preparing for such a living...

a. defining life as a journey of learning...

b. enjoying the reading...understanding the reading...modifying our life style, thought processes about life and living, definitions of social life etc as per what we have learnt

c. losing ourselves in whatever we do...

d. exposing the children from 7 onward to living at various places in India and if possible abroad with a purpose of learning and adaptation to adjust, accept, live on their own, making everything on their own, amidst people of all differences, to forget about differences in jobs, caste, religion, language, race etc...to respect all and every job...understand there is nothing known as mean job and white or blue collar job...not to differentiate people based on what job or work they do etc....to understand the value of money, people and relationships...

e. parents should invest in the education and not marriage....

f. when parents invest in marriage the children will not be responsible enough to reconcile the issues related to differences that arise between the two people in married life...so, they easily decide to separate and parents will become fools!...

g. work becomes stressful only when we do it for earning money without interest and involvement. When we do something ...reading or work...that we like, interested in, then we will not know how the time flies, do not mind about all the differences and adaptation issues, we will lose ourselves, then work does not become a stress, it becomes a fun, enjoyment, living, contented and fulfilled....every thing else becomes easy to adapt and live.

h. children, siblings and parents should live in a attached-but-detached manner, only then both will not miss each other...

i) don't live to impress others. First satisfy yourself. Be a good human being who is helpful to others. Caring. Automatically others will like you. So, no need to buy expensive houses and live a lavish life. When you try to impress others, it is impossible to impress every one, so you end up fooling some, fool yourselves and live a meaningless, hollow, empty life without any fulfillment or contentment.

(while i am typing this i am getting a report that some high IQ students who went for Industrial Visit to an organisation fainted as they did not have stamina to walk around!!...Less Hb in blood due to not eating balanced diet, losing blood every month due to natural issues, missing break fast, uselessly spending night hours and less sleep, sedentary life style...always complaining about food in the hostels!!...I don't know what they will do in industries where unless they have good stamina and health they can't work for long hours and in demanding environmental conditions!!...What is the use of that high IQ??)

j) parents also should change and be ready to go out of their place of growing up or living...enjoy every place...every moment...adapt to changes in all domains of life and living...places...people...etc..

k) so, how much money we want decides the hours of work, stress etc. Focus should be to spend money on basics of physical survival, education/learning of self and children, healthy food. Secondary and tertiary areas could be entertainment, travel etc.

l) don't go to places as tourist for stress bursting and pleasure...go out as a traveler to live there and learn, gather meaningful memories of happiness.

So, the crux is...our definition of life, living, going abroad for work or learning....evvvvvvvvvvvvvvery decision we take at any moment should be based on not losing the happiness, good physical-mental and social well-being, peace, contentment and fulfillment.

Peace is after-all a perception!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

one comment....

"Also sir.. i like add few points here... one must know about their ownself, before choosing his/ her requirements like studies, life partner etc.. one must bear in mind that no route he/ she choose will be free of obstacles / challenges.. therefore when he/ she gets a speed-breaker enroute.. which is going to happen in all probabilities.. rather cursing his/ her decision to follow this route.. they must take it as a challenge and overcome it.. in the case of people who already taken the route as per their likings.. their passion will absorb this speed breaker's jerk... so the point what i am making here is one must select anything in line with his/ her characteristics and likings..one must have a logical reason for every action of his/ hers.. this will answer their own discouraging queries while facing an obstacle in their chosen route... in case anyone is already taken a route (which was accidentally selected)... he/ she should be optimistic..continue in that route steadily.. keep seeing all the good in that route... keep moving in the same route.. and take a diversion as suitable... as per his / her likings.. if he/ she takes a U turn.. this will be waste of time.. become a discouraging factor.. for his/her ownselves.. so PASSION is the key to do a thing with happiness and stress-free!"

how to keep the relationships growing and intact...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

All exciting, ultimate, divine loves...whether committed or not committed...becomes a pain and separates people, when it reaches a stage of possessiveness and obsession...this is when people start suspecting each other...due to insecure feeling of losing the person and relationship!!

Instead of suspecting with a fear that he/she may cheat, will have illicit relationship etc...and start indulging in related negative behaviours of sniffing, checking, monitoring, controlling, dictating etc (which actually results in the opposite feared effect of the person cheating or leaving the relationship physically or mentally or socially), if we start thinking "How i can be inside his or her heart always in such a way that he or she will not cheat me?" then positive behaviours and emotions will result...there is no way that relationships or loves break...they will only get strengthened every second and minute and will live for ever!!

Of course, both people in relationships should do this!!

So, let us not think about how to keep people within four walls or in a relationship...let us think about how to live in others' hearts!!..This will ensure people to live in four walls, homes, hearts, in relationships, peacefully, happily, healthily!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

Unconditional and devotional love which is the real, true and pure love unites even unknown people!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Unconditional and devotional love which is the real, true, pure and which enhances the health-happiness-physical, mental, social well-being, contentment, fulfillment, helps to self actualise the other person, unites even unknown people...Wants, needs, expectations and hidden agenda in relationships separates even people known for many years and in committed relationships!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

Let us stop living like Human Beings...Let us start living like Animals!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Are we happy?....Are we healthy?...Are we peaceful?...Are we contented?...Are we fulfilled?...If the answer is No or 50:50 then let us see who we are and what we are supposed to do to get these!!

We are part of Nature...Products of this Universe called Nature...Nature is a part of us!...Nature does not differentiate between a tree, a worm, an elephant and us. It sees every one and everything (inanimate) as same. We only named our selves as Human Beings and differentiated ourselves from other elements of the Nature.

As Human beings we are not able to get all those listed above. But animals in jungle or forest are happy...healthy...peaceful...So, let us live like animals from this minute on-wards!!😀

Animals live a simple life and therefore they find everything in abundance....Let us also make our lives simple and feel the abundance!...The entire earth is ours. We are supposed to enjoy the entire world and earth without of course, destroying it...while enhancing it...during this process and while cherishing the end result too!!

Animals do not destroy the nature. They don't harm other animals. They only protect other animals. They service other organisms. They only eat other animals for keeping their body alive. So, let us also not destroy, kill other fellow human beings and animals physically and mentally, live a useful life for others, service others.

Animals meet all their needs on their own...Let us also meet our needs on our own...not depend on others for our food, clothing, shelter and all that we expect from parents, siblings, spouse, friends etc.

Animals keep their body needs less. Let us also keep our body needs less.

Animals live their life. They don't try to impress others. They want to be good animals. They remain what they are and do not try to imitate others or live a false life. So, let us also first impress us, live as per what we want to live, not try to impress others, by which we are only fooling us and others. It is impossible to impress every one...all the time!!...We can't impress even one person at all times...So, let us live as per our choice but in a health enhancing manner for us and others.

Animals do Yoga asanas...hihihi...wondering is it?...All asanas are various body postures and movements of animals only!!...So, let us also do yoga asanas.

Animals do not demand, control and expect anything from others. Let us also not demand, control and expect anything from others.

Animals accept other animals and human beings also as they are!!...So, let us also accept other human beings as they are!!...No one is defective. Defects are our own perceptions. If some one is defective then it will only affect his health. Of course, we can help that person to understand that and come out of it!

Animals Do not compare themselves with others. Let us also not compare ourselves with others!!...Let us decide what we want to become, make ourselves to be and how we live our life. Let us be like neem trees, banyan trees and peepal trees...deep, strong, wide, self made, beautiful and useful to all.

Animals do not expect from their own selves beyond their capabilities. So, let us also plan within our capabilities and only keep increasing our boundaries in all dimensions and domains slowly and steadily.

Animals do not rest when they are not tired. So, let us also not rest when we are fresh and not tired. They are innocent...therefore cute...therefore beautiful...therefore lovable. So, let us also innocent, cute, beautiful and lovable!!

Animals do not hate anyone. They only dislike unhealthy thinking, emotions and behaviours. So, let us also not hate anyone and only dislike health compromising behaviours and those destroying nature.

Animals do not have or distinguish religion, caste, race, language, economic differences, borders, social systems etc. So, let us also not have these, at least in our minds, thinking, feelings and behaviours. Politicians and Religious leaders will not allow us to live without these. They will ensure that they exist and only increase more and more. They will sensitize us with more of these to differentiate so that we are not peaceful and keep hating and fighting with every one. But let us isolate, guard and protect ourselves from these people and live a peaceful life within the default social systems we are in!!

Animals do not try to change the fate. They don't think hypothetical situations in life (e.g if i had married him, my life would have been too good!!, etc). They accept their destiny as it is.

The list is endless when we compare us with animals. Let us list down all of them, learn from them and start living like animals and trees!!

So, let us keep our body needs less. Put our mind to think about how to keep the earth beautiful...life beautiful...life simple amidst all these complications...make living beautiful...job and family environments beautiful...towards gaining more knowledge...more skills....more wisdom...more memories...more happiness...less pleasures...travel all over this earth...to enjoy each and every place here...each and every moment in our life...!!

So, let us live like animals from this moment. Let us not live like human beings!!...Let us learn to be animals...Being an animal easier than being a human being!!....Let us be good animals...and not good human beings!!...Enough of suffering with this destructive human living, life and thinking!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!😂😂😂

Being global is the only way for survival!!

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY STUDENTS...

We are born here. We want to live. We need to have the basic amenities to live. If we want to live a family life with children then the expenditures are going to be more. So, we need money. If we live healthy, then medical expenditures may be less. Otherwise we need to have money for that also. Therefore, we have to work and earn.

Indian was a welfare oriented country in the past. So, government spent a lot of money on us and most of the services were free. Now and in future India will not be a welfare oriented country. It will follow Capitalism where everything will be privatised who will be profit oriented, and every service will be charged.

So, laziness will not work out. Business will be dynamic and turbulent. Organisations will emerge overnight and vanish overnight. The product life cycles will be may be just one day and will become obsolete overnight. Mergers will be every day activity. People will lose jobs frequently at all levels and ages, and getting another job will be difficult. Competitions between organisations and employees will be too high and stressful. Organisations will diversify and expand. Big businesses will survive and eat away the small organisations. Organisations will become global and global policies will have high impact on every one of us. Global companies will enter India much more vigorously. The politicians all over the world will keep changing the policies for education of overseas students, visa policies, employment policies, wages etc. So, life is going to be too difficult if we are money centric, while money is important.

When organisations go global, we also have to prepare ourselves to be global. No other way. We can't be regional like we were earlier. If we are like this then we may not get high salaries and might lose jobs often and remain at home without jobs for many months. So, we can't live with regional caste, religion, language sensitivities and attachments any more. Whereas, our parents are likely to be regional, primitive and obsolete. We need to educate them. Expose them to the present life outside the place of birth and growing up. Though the memories of life events of that place attract us. May be we can spend few days once in a while. But living in that place with a permanent, highly paid (value for our physical and mental labour) job is not possible. Children, who will have to face the most uncertain future have to be prepared competitively which is not possible at the rural or small townships or even in the primitive societies of urban cities.

Therefore, let us shred our laziness. Get up. Get ready. Come out of the addictions which our entertainment industry is putting us in. Come out of the diverting and sensitizing strategies of politicians and media on useless stuff. Get GLOBAL. Learn all languages. Learn all and multiple skills. Learn all the global knowledge required for the organisations. Shred all the religion, regional, caste and language sensitivities. Be ready to work anywhere. Eat anything that is available there. Work in any physical and climatic environment. Get ready to work with all country men and women in our team. Learn hindi, chinese, french, german, spanish, japanese. The entire earth is created for us to see, enjoy, live, travel before death. Life is only once. One year means 365 days. It appears as if new year came yesterday. 9 months have gone! Ten years means 3650 days only. 20 years means just 7300 days only. So, within a wink of a time you will get old and life is gone! Any time heart attack can kill you. Diabetes and hypertension can only make you exist or survive. So, at young age explore the whole world when you have energy, youth and drive. Take part in all adventures with good education, training, supervision and life supports.

So, GET READY TO BE GLOBAL...EDUCATE PARENTS...for global living and life...married life...work life...personal life...social life!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

How to get contentment and fulfillment in life?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

To be peaceful one has to get the feeling of contentment, fulfillment, achievement in life...they come through self actualisation and self transcending life...i.e a feeling of acceptance through multiple skills, knowledge, creativity, service, wisdom etc.

In olden days the ladies realised these at home as there was no scope for them to come out of the home. They were locked up in all directions through social customs, traditions, stigma etc. Now with liberalisation of education and job opportunities they are able to come out to breath freedom and realize the above both at home and organisation. But this is in the hands of only two people...FATHER...HUSBAND...!!..So, still the social issues have not been resolved completely as the controls are will some one else. Can this be legalised??

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

What is True Love...Pure Love...Godly Love??

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

All of us are in RELATIONSHIPS!

Relationships are where emotions are involved. Acquaintances can't be defined as relationships.

Relationships are of two types...1. Committed relationships....2. Uncommitted relationships. 'Committed' means, in general, through socially accepted relationships where the Roles (responsibilities) and Statuses are clearly defined socially or legally.

All of us think, feel and define that relationships are for meant for and meeting our needs, wants and expectations. Therefore, we demand, control, order and suffer. Do not get all the basics in life. No point in saying 'This is how the world is working, operating and people are living in societies!'. They are not living. They are just existing!!...If we understand the true meaning of RELATIONSHIPS , then we will not suffer in relationships, lose people from our lives, do not lose relationships and cry!!...We don't know how to be unconditional and devotional...Hmmmm...We need to learn this from lower organisms like dogs, trees etc!!...Nothing wrong in learning from them if we don't know how to use the higher form of sense, the sixth sense, for getting the basics, to live on this earth, !!...If we say, 'they don't have mind, and so they are able to be unconditional and devotional' then the answer is there in front, that we don't know how to use our mind, how to use our sixth sense... and if we say 'those with mind can't live with all basics all throughout life' then we don't need that mind, we don't deserve to have that mind...i.e we deserve to be only primitive...so that we can get all those basics!!

People might say 'Being devotional or unconditional in committed relationships' is impossible or ideal or useless or foolishness or waste etc. The truth is being devotional or unconditional in committed relationships is not so great because there is always some underlying, subconscious, unexplainable, social, physical, economical, legal, mental, long term motive behind which is covert, not known, not observed.

Being devotional, loyal, truthful and unconditional in an uncommitted relationship is the godly, ideal and best relationship!...This is what is the actual True Love. Pure Love. Godly love!!

I am sure every one wants to have such a lover...but is there any one to be such a lover??😀...You might say 'If i am able to get one such, then i will also remain one such!'...First we have to be one such, only then we will get one such, is it not?...And even if we get one who is normal, we can probably make one such ideal one with our true, pure and godly love!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!

What is the definition of Life?

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Why are we born here?

Every one has an answer for this question. So, there are billions of answers!!

But the simple answer is 'We are born here to live!'

Not just to EXIST or SURVIVE!!

'TO LIVE' means our body has to live first, not just exist or survive!

'TO LIVE' means being peaceful, happy, healthy, contented, fulfilled, self actualised and self transcended....the basics of life!

To 'exist' means the way most of us are living now.

To survive means 'just keeping the body alive on this earth' with lots of suffering of pain in the body and mind. Just on the brink of death!!

Don't look at the way others live and define the life or living. It is a place where they live in between the two ends of 'suffering' and 'happiness'. That does not become the definition.

Definitions are ideal conditions of positives towards which we should attempt to move so that we 'live' and improve the 'Quality of Life' (not 'Quality of Living'...what our society, parents, relatives and every one define as 'improvement' 'growth' 'achievement' 'contentment' 'fulfillment' 'good living' etc are all NOT Quality of Life, it is all about 'Quality of Living'). Quality of living may not bring all the basics of life listed above. i.e quality of living need not ensure quality of life!...The Dons and the riches might have good quality of living, but they may not have good quality of life. To have a good quality of life, one need not be rich or highly educated or intelligent or powerful with highest authority!

So, if we want to enjoy this earth more, life more, then the body should live here for long. Mind supports this mission of the body if it is helped by the body.

So, if we put in the clean air, health enhancing liquids and balanced diet inside the body and health enhancing thoughts in the mind, then we have done our best to keep the body 'live' on earth for long. Thoughts are more important than emotions and behaviours because both these emanate out of cognition.

So, this is the secret to keep the body alive on this earth for long!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

"you keep saying 'no body needs', but hugs are important naa?'

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

Agree that hugs are important for a healthy mind, to perceive feeling of acceptance, not to feel lonely, feel living amidst the loving people etc. But that has to be a from a health enhancing person and health enhancing relationship. Else it will not give peace and be available for entire life. With every person, every hug comes a load of wants, needs and expectations, to meet which you don't have finances, time and energy!!

Some are not possessive and some become possessive that they want such hugs from the same person for life long. This is possible from only unconditional and devotional relationships.

Hugs are also of different types. Pleasure giving or happiness giving. Hugs without reproductive behaviour thoughts or feelings gives happiness (not craving and urging). Hugs with reproductive behaviour needs give pleasure and all associated negatives.

Hugs with sources of unconditional love perceptions...trees, puppies, cats, dolls, pillows etc ask for no investment of anything.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!

we drive body for cravings and all attractions for meeting the needs of body we call as love...

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL...

All of us in the world stress ourselves unrealistically to the chore due to our negative perceptions of life and living without defining the basics correctly.

We also don't use health enhancing stress busters. There are methods of doing everything in life without getting stressed up. But we don't know and therefore don't do.

We believe that being stressed up and anxiety struck is unavoidable part of life.

Stress leads to binge eating all spicy and health compromising crap stuff. This drives us crazy for all body related needs. The mind is always occupied with these and goes crazy with its thoughts and emotions.

It is not possible to satisfy the body the way, level and extent of what it wants at any time and always. So, all attractions due to these drives towards opposite sex we call as love. This drives us mad. And we write off all those emotions as love...definitions of love...meaning of love...basics of love...way of loving...and what not!!

Anything that is health compromising is not love. Relieve yourselves from your body to get peace and good health. Make the body self regulating. Follow the life style required for this.

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!