Dear all...THIS IS FOR STUDENTS STUDYING ABROAD AND PEOPLE WORKING ABROAD...PARENTS PLANNING TO SEND THEIR CHILDREN ABROAD FOR EDUCATION, WORK AND LIVING!!
1. Is it necessary to go abroad for education and work?
Entire earth and world are created for us to read, learn, work, go around, see, watch, live and enjoy without spoiling and destroying it. So, why to live in a small rat home like a rat? But we should not spoil our family and personal life...health, happiness, peace etc. towards being and living global.
India does not have world class educational institutions or organisations or R&D in all the areas of arts, science, engg or medicine. So, nothing wrong in going to the best of the places for studies and work.
The issues faced are...
1. Students take a huge sum as loan and spend about 5 to 8 years of their prime time in their twenties/thirties to pay back the loans.
2. They also spend a lot on own house through loans and keep working day and night with anxiety and fear in this dynamic employment environment.
3. They have to handle their own education, loans, working day and night, married life, relationship issues between the two, pregnancy, delivery, child grooming till 5 years requires mom's constant care at home, lack of support of anyone, away from parents and siblings, feeling of abandonment, loneliness, missing their place of growing up, family, relatives, friends, memories...memories...memories!!
4. Issues of adapting to food, clothing, extreme climatic conditions, culture, rules and regulations of the new land, changing policies related to visa, employment, economic situation, politics.
How to handle this?
1. All these sufferings are there because our aim is money and wealth. So, we become machines and forget to enjoy in true sense that relaxes our body and mind. Boozing, smoking and dancing in polluted pubs or dance clubs does not relieve the stress. It only dehydrates and makes us tired in body and mind. Social and legal issues come up and spoil the peace and health.
2. Don't go abroad for making big wealth. Go there for good education, learning and enjoying the moments. For this, the grooming from childhood should be towards preparing for such a living...
a. defining life as a journey of learning...
b. enjoying the reading...understanding the reading...modifying our life style, thought processes about life and living, definitions of social life etc as per what we have learnt
c. losing ourselves in whatever we do...
d. exposing the children from 7 onward to living at various places in India and if possible abroad with a purpose of learning and adaptation to adjust, accept, live on their own, making everything on their own, amidst people of all differences, to forget about differences in jobs, caste, religion, language, race etc...to respect all and every job...understand there is nothing known as mean job and white or blue collar job...not to differentiate people based on what job or work they do etc....to understand the value of money, people and relationships...
e. parents should invest in the education and not marriage....
f. when parents invest in marriage the children will not be responsible enough to reconcile the issues related to differences that arise between the two people in married life...so, they easily decide to separate and parents will become fools!...
g. work becomes stressful only when we do it for earning money without interest and involvement. When we do something ...reading or work...that we like, interested in, then we will not know how the time flies, do not mind about all the differences and adaptation issues, we will lose ourselves, then work does not become a stress, it becomes a fun, enjoyment, living, contented and fulfilled....every thing else becomes easy to adapt and live.
h. children, siblings and parents should live in a attached-but-detached manner, only then both will not miss each other...
i) don't live to impress others. First satisfy yourself. Be a good human being who is helpful to others. Caring. Automatically others will like you. So, no need to buy expensive houses and live a lavish life. When you try to impress others, it is impossible to impress every one, so you end up fooling some, fool yourselves and live a meaningless, hollow, empty life without any fulfillment or contentment.
(while i am typing this i am getting a report that some high IQ students who went for Industrial Visit to an organisation fainted as they did not have stamina to walk around!!...Less Hb in blood due to not eating balanced diet, losing blood every month due to natural issues, missing break fast, uselessly spending night hours and less sleep, sedentary life style...always complaining about food in the hostels!!...I don't know what they will do in industries where unless they have good stamina and health they can't work for long hours and in demanding environmental conditions!!...What is the use of that high IQ??)
j) parents also should change and be ready to go out of their place of growing up or living...enjoy every place...every moment...adapt to changes in all domains of life and living...places...people...etc..
k) so, how much money we want decides the hours of work, stress etc. Focus should be to spend money on basics of physical survival, education/learning of self and children, healthy food. Secondary and tertiary areas could be entertainment, travel etc.
l) don't go to places as tourist for stress bursting and pleasure...go out as a traveler to live there and learn, gather meaningful memories of happiness.
So, the crux is...our definition of life, living, going abroad for work or learning....evvvvvvvvvvvvvvery decision we take at any moment should be based on not losing the happiness, good physical-mental and social well-being, peace, contentment and fulfillment.
Peace is after-all a perception!!
Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist!!
one comment....
"Also sir.. i like add few points here... one must know about their ownself, before choosing his/ her requirements like studies, life partner etc.. one must bear in mind that no route he/ she choose will be free of obstacles / challenges.. therefore when he/ she gets a speed-breaker enroute.. which is going to happen in all probabilities.. rather cursing his/ her decision to follow this route.. they must take it as a challenge and overcome it.. in the case of people who already taken the route as per their likings.. their passion will absorb this speed breaker's jerk... so the point what i am making here is one must select anything in line with his/ her characteristics and likings..one must have a logical reason for every action of his/ hers.. this will answer their own discouraging queries while facing an obstacle in their chosen route... in case anyone is already taken a route (which was accidentally selected)... he/ she should be optimistic..continue in that route steadily.. keep seeing all the good in that route... keep moving in the same route.. and take a diversion as suitable... as per his / her likings.. if he/ she takes a U turn.. this will be waste of time.. become a discouraging factor.. for his/her ownselves.. so PASSION is the key to do a thing with happiness and stress-free!"
one comment....
"Also sir.. i like add few points here... one must know about their ownself, before choosing his/ her requirements like studies, life partner etc.. one must bear in mind that no route he/ she choose will be free of obstacles / challenges.. therefore when he/ she gets a speed-breaker enroute.. which is going to happen in all probabilities.. rather cursing his/ her decision to follow this route.. they must take it as a challenge and overcome it.. in the case of people who already taken the route as per their likings.. their passion will absorb this speed breaker's jerk... so the point what i am making here is one must select anything in line with his/ her characteristics and likings..one must have a logical reason for every action of his/ hers.. this will answer their own discouraging queries while facing an obstacle in their chosen route... in case anyone is already taken a route (which was accidentally selected)... he/ she should be optimistic..continue in that route steadily.. keep seeing all the good in that route... keep moving in the same route.. and take a diversion as suitable... as per his / her likings.. if he/ she takes a U turn.. this will be waste of time.. become a discouraging factor.. for his/her ownselves.. so PASSION is the key to do a thing with happiness and stress-free!"
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