what should we do when we know that our relationship with the opposite sex is going above the acquaintance level....

Dear all...THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE BOYS AND GIRLS from the age of 13 to 90!! (😉😉)

We have nearly seven kinds of boys and girls when they form relationships with opposite sex....many more kinds are also possible...with variations in this...

1. Huggs and kisses is the motive.

2. Sex once is the motive or sex till getting bored is the motive.

3. just friendship talking without any physical intimacies in reality is the motive or (with physical intimacies only in fantasies)

4. Living with the person producing children, rearing the children and living a complete life is the motive.

5. Living with the person once in a while with physical intimacies and sex is the motive.

6. Living with the person as a family without any marriage and children is the motive.

7. Living with the person, but without any physical intimacies is the motive.

Every person is different...the definition of life of every person is different...every one is right in their own perspective...depending upon their profession, how much time, energy and emotions they can dedicate to the relationship, their learning experiences in life, their personality traits...etc

As long as the person is able to remain in a domain of peace, happiness and good health, in a long term, it is ok, right, correct and true for that person. But that person should dwell out of possessiveness, obsession and pleasure in the relationship to be able to live in peace, happiness and good health in a long term.

the core point of discussion here is .....when they get attracted...when they form the relationship...when they know that it is about to go beyond just acquaintance, it is better to explicitly tell what is the motive of their relationship...because among the two, each person conceives the relationship differently...they perceive the relationship they miss in their life...or needs, wants and expectations they miss in their life...e.g the boy may be just interested in sex...the girl may be interested in making a family with children and rearing, living with him life long...as there is a mismatch here, after the first or few sexual experiences the boy might leave the relationship and the girl might feel cheated, trust broken, depressed and totally devastated. This can happen with a boy also who has gone to a girl with the aim of getting married and making a family, but the girl is interested only in sex.

But in general, they don't tell the truth for the fear that the person might leave the relationship and they might not achieve their motive. So, they tell lies. For e.g in the above case the boy might knowingly tell lies that he wants to marry her and make a family, meet his motives and finally leave the relationship. This is what is happening in most of the relationships. But the karma acts in no time. The same boy will fall in a relationship subsequently for marriage, but the girl will cheat and run away after few experiences with him!!

To avoid all these heart burns, it is better to tell the heart out to the other person so that they decide whether to continue the relationship or not or at what domain they should continue the relationship. This way both save their lives and save the life of the other person too!!

There are many cases where both know that their interests are different and do not match. But still one of them or both fall in obsession with the other person, and live a life to meet the interests of the other person when ever the person has needs. We have all kinds of variations. Hmmmmm.

But whatever it is, we should not derail from having peace, happiness and good health and giving the same to the other person!!

Peacefully yours...Rams...Psychologist...