hai all...how are we?...here is a facebook posting of mine...
"Daddy, yenakku oru davuttu"...(daddy, I have got a doubt???)
there is a famous saying in tamil, which is taught to all school children...of course, tamil medium children...
'ullondru vaithhu puram ondru pesuvaar uravu kalavaamai vendum!'...meaning 'god, bless me not to have any relationship with people who think some thing and talk something else!'
if this is to be followed in life we should not have any relationship with our parents!!!!...whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
daughter thinks "I want to do engg. Want to go to a good university abroad and do my higher studies. Want to become a scientist at places like NASA!...want to become like Kalpana Chawla or Sunita Williams"
parents think "it is time for her marriage as she has completed 20 years. Let us start looking at some matches"
Daughter knows the intentions of their parents...she also knows if she tells her wishes they will say 'What is not there with us!...we have big houses, many farm fields, lots of gold, wealth...why you need to work, struggle, go abroad and suffer?...who will enjoy all these properties if you go away?'...or they will say 'you are our only daughter! How can we live without you?'...if she argues with them then they will say 'Enough is enough! first get married and then go wherever you want and do what ever you want!...we want to complete our responsibility!'...how many girls agree to this, get married, and carry on abroad for studies or work, not for living with that guy and live a family life, though they don't hate family life and they also want to have one, of course, along with meeting their achievement motive, at a little later stage in life!
she knows all these...so, she plans some thing and tells her parents to keep them cool and make her moving towards her target.
wofff, parentsssss!!!...are they anything less?...how many movies, tv serials, news paper feeds and neighbour hood stories they have seen and heard. So, the mother will tell 'I know my daughter very well, I know what she thinks, I also know how to tackle her!'...so, she coolly says something to keep her daughter happy for that moment and plans something else at the back door!
the never ending tv serial or chess game continues in life between them forever!...parents think they are doing good for their daughter...daughter thinks they are not allowing her to fly, feel freedom and decide her destiny. Possessiveness, expectations, self beliefs of parentsss!
so, ullondru vaithhu puram ondru pesuvaar uravu venumaa...vendaamaa??????? (should we have the relationship of people who say something and talk something?) (I can see many winking and saying 'except parents', as however wicked their parents are, they want them, as they love them the most!)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....(hey
some one made a comment like this....
rams
"Daddy, yenakku oru davuttu"...(daddy, I have got a doubt???)
there is a famous saying in tamil, which is taught to all school children...of course, tamil medium children...
'ullondru vaithhu puram ondru pesuvaar uravu kalavaamai vendum!'...meaning 'god, bless me not to have any relationship with people who think some thing and talk something else!'
if this is to be followed in life we should not have any relationship with our parents!!!!...whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
daughter thinks "I want to do engg. Want to go to a good university abroad and do my higher studies. Want to become a scientist at places like NASA!...want to become like Kalpana Chawla or Sunita Williams"
parents think "it is time for her marriage as she has completed 20 years. Let us start looking at some matches"
Daughter knows the intentions of their parents...she also knows if she tells her wishes they will say 'What is not there with us!...we have big houses, many farm fields, lots of gold, wealth...why you need to work, struggle, go abroad and suffer?...who will enjoy all these properties if you go away?'...or they will say 'you are our only daughter! How can we live without you?'...if she argues with them then they will say 'Enough is enough! first get married and then go wherever you want and do what ever you want!...we want to complete our responsibility!'...how many girls agree to this, get married, and carry on abroad for studies or work, not for living with that guy and live a family life, though they don't hate family life and they also want to have one, of course, along with meeting their achievement motive, at a little later stage in life!
she knows all these...so, she plans some thing and tells her parents to keep them cool and make her moving towards her target.
wofff, parentsssss!!!...are they anything less?...how many movies, tv serials, news paper feeds and neighbour hood stories they have seen and heard. So, the mother will tell 'I know my daughter very well, I know what she thinks, I also know how to tackle her!'...so, she coolly says something to keep her daughter happy for that moment and plans something else at the back door!
the never ending tv serial or chess game continues in life between them forever!...parents think they are doing good for their daughter...daughter thinks they are not allowing her to fly, feel freedom and decide her destiny. Possessiveness, expectations, self beliefs of parentsss!
so, ullondru vaithhu puram ondru pesuvaar uravu venumaa...vendaamaa??????? (should we have the relationship of people who say something and talk something?) (I can see many winking and saying 'except parents', as however wicked their parents are, they want them, as they love them the most!)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....(hey
some one made a comment like this....
- Truth is the greatest liberator in one's life. This kind of behavior does not teach children to be truthful in close relationships! It is not healthy to lie to close people! But when the demands do not match one's desires, such falseness exist! That is why it is good to let kids free to choose their own lives. Funny thing is that the parents want their kids married at the expense of their children's education and ambitions, even though most of the parents are not really happy in their own married life (esp if the parents also had to sacrifice what really makes them tick)! It is like ragging in colleges - students rag their juniors just because they were ragged by their seniors! Doesn't make sense! Instead if a truthful open conversation is had (instead of fake conversations), then everyone can know what is in the parent's and children's minds and hence come up with unique plans (not the same plan for every kid, but different plan for each kid depending on the kid's pursuits and interests) that is really good for every child.my comment is here....
- thank you ji!...we are great parents of incredible india!...we are too responsible...you know, we dream about our children becoming big when they are in the womb itself...at that time itself we book for a seat in the best school...we ask the child when it is in lkg itself 'What you want to become?...doctor or engineer?...lawyer or IAS?...if you observe we are interested in making money!...'I wanted to become a doctor. I could not. I will make my son a doctor!'...'in my family all are doctors. I want my daughter to become an engineer'...these are famous statements here. What do the children know? (because we have grown them like that and we shamelessly boast about it!)...we only know everything and therefore we are deciding all these for their bright future...what do they know about selecting their life mate?...they don't have any experience!...we have! (my grandma used to say almost every day that she is happy and her life is beautiful only after the death of her husband!...most of the women here feel the same but they don't tell outside as it is not pleasantly accepted in the society)...the great epics Ramayana and Mahabharata teach lots of strategies for both parents and children!...my brother in law's son tells me when his parents are not there 'uncle, I know where to tap my parents!'...he has studied them nicely and thoroughly and achieves what he wants...his parents tell me (when he is not there) 'we know his weak points and we know where to tap him and trap him!'...an interesting game to watch!...I don't know what is going to be the climax, as he runs away from home at times, parents kneel down in principal's office...both are villains and heroes for themselves and the other person!...what a way to ruin our life and the life of our children! I am seriously humorous and humorously serious!
rams
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