Hai all...here is a heart broken girl...
"Sir, during my first year class i met him. I liked everything about him. We became good friends. We were found everywhere in the campus together. Every one knew about us. I liked every moment of being with him. He also likes being with me. He does not long for me, but i am!...I thought we are good match for life and expressed my desire!...He was always saying that he will take up a job in India and i had planned to join with him in the job too. But now he says he wants to go abroad for MS and it was just a friendship and nothing more than that!!...My heart is broken and i am shattered!!...i feel my life is all messed up and i am screwed badly!!...I can't think of a life without him and i am already drowning hearing these shocking words from him!!...please help me sir, I don't know what to do!!"
I am sure there must be thousands of girls and boys like this...they just post a status update of 'heart broken' or 'break-up' in facebook, sit in a corner and cry!!
Every one need to know what happens inside the body of an adolescent and early adult hood, their world, their social behaviours and how they take decisions. If all adolescents know this then they will not land up in such a situation.
It is an age with thousands of volcanoes inside the body. Lots of hormone drives. Body and organs, both inside and outside, grow rapidly. As i mentioned earlier they are like water tubes with one end connected to a high pressure water tap and other end let loose. You can imagine how the open end wobbles and jumps here and there.
Nothing is firmed up during this stage. Their value systems, goals, definition of life and living gets formed, they will have thousands of surface level friendships, they are always in fantasy and their decisions also are fantasy choice. Their moods, decisions, likes, dislikes, wants, needs etc will keep changing fast.
The physical and mental proximity of opposite sex gives a good high feeling which every one likes and they enjoy. They tend to get closer and body and mind obviously want it more and more. So, they form a relationship. But when the life directions become different and the time comes for separation both physically and mentally, and when there is a likely hood of living with some one else then the possessiveness kills them and the relationship.
so, the crux is....for college and school students....
1. talk to everyone, enjoy the friendship, don't get physical (some people are animal like, they do it and forget it....but some are human like, they want that person for entire life which puts both in trouble!)
2. don't take any decision with anyone regarding living together or marriage etc
3. It has been found through researches that only during mid twenties the body growth stabilizes, maturity of mind and body occurs, their value systems firm up, they know what is life and living is all about, wild and limitless socialization stops and they know who their friends are and limit their friendships only with them. This is the best time to select your life partner as both of you are stable in life, job, body and mind.
4. though scientists say that only after 40 we make reality choices and till then only fantasy choices, i think mid twenties is right time.
more later....
peacefully yours...rams...health psychologist....
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