Dear all...THIS IS AN IMPORTANT POST FOR ALL...ESPECIALLY FOR ALL THOSE BETWEEN THE AGE OF 13 TO 25...I ASSURE AN ENLIGHTENING FEELING DURING READING AND AT THE END.
Today internet has become part of every child's life from birth, as it grows seeing high tech gadgets in the hands of every one at home from the time of birth!
It becomes part of internet probably from age 1 on wards and a part of social networking from age 5 or 6!
It is a new e-world for them which did not exist for their parents and grandparents at home and therefore the elders may not understand the psyche of such children....generation gap!!
As most of the babies are/will be single child, and single parent groomed, mostly by the mother, in the practical sense, they are likely to break the dam and flow like a gushing dam water in to the world of social relationships. They will find their brothers, sisters, father, friends, uncles, lovers, spouse, soulmates in the oceanic outside world. At the press of the button new relationships will get formed in no time. They will be a part of the new big family called 'earth'. The concept of 'relatives' will be redefined. This situation of social networking..i.e ease, speed etc will only increase and improve with advancing technology (e.g Internet of Things (IOT)).
Therefore, in this new world, It is a challenge for them to contain the emotions, relationships etc and therefore they will emotionally grow, develop and mature faster, provided they know and are able to handle people and relationships...thinking, emotions and behaviours....in a positive manner!!
As they keep moving from place to place, due to transfers of parents, change of schools/colleges, work places, they will lose some friends, gain some new relationships. Some will remain as acquaintance and whereas some might become strong emotional relationships.
The depth and effect of some relationships are not understood till they are lost. Some such lost emotional-strong and deep relationships might surface later in life and can become strong again.
Some may be physical and some may be fantasy and some may be non-physical but highly emotional.
The parents can not control the children and it is not possible. Only thing is they should teach 'Relationship Management' to children, provided they themselves know it. Fears and scaring the children is no use.
Schools and colleges should teach this subject from childhood using experts.
As i mentioned yesterday LUST...LOVE...PLEASURE... HAPPINESS...VARIETY NEEDS in all these and everything including RELATIONSHIPS... are Nature created, never ending till death!!
Guilt and Possessiveness, again created by Nature, will work against these and create lots of problems in life. Honesty, believing a person and relationships, trusting a person will all be in shambles.
Good human beings and Fake-good-human beings will continue to attract every one. Perception of cheating will become part of every day living and life.
So, unless one is groomed from childhood with high Emotional Quotient and Spiritual Quotient packed life style, habits, routines and chores, it is almost impossible for a person to live in peace, good health, happiness and contentment!!
First, the parents need to be taught by experts on this subject, as they themselves are a big 'hole' in this. The definition of spirituality is all a big farce here!!
In short......
Every human being will come across many people in their lives and form new relationships. Every relationship has following stages:-
(i) Initial curiosity filled stage of knowing the other person
(ii) happiness filled second phase of opening out and revealing
everything about us to the other person
everything about us to the other person
(iii) pleasure and fun filled third phase of enjoying the life together. Every day is a honey moon full of stars, gifts, kisses, hugs, surprises, wonders and what not!!...Thinking that 'He or she is the ultimate person on earth i was waiting for!...Ours is the best relationship on earth!!...He or She is my soulmate and we have been created for each other!!!...No one can break this relationship!...It will live for eternity!!...It is beyond the perception or definition of human beings!!'
This is the phase of life where one becomes poet, writer, painter and all sorts of art performers. It is a fantasy filled phase where reality takes the back seat. Both of them think what they are doing is all right. They think they are listening to their heart and passion and following them. The world and earth looks beautiful during this phase. They get their ultimate feeling of this relationship. Whether they are married or unmarried.
(iv) The fourth stage is the most painful stage. It is full of boredom as nothing new, no variety, no surprises, no stars, no gifts, no kisses and hugs. Both the people know in and out of the other person and life and relationship become dull and boring. No fun. But the need for lust (money, wealth, comforts, expansion, hugs, kisses, foreplay, sex etc), love (caring, affection, support and security in all aspects of life and living), variety in all these never ends.
As time passes, as they age, as they grow, evolve and mature, they change physically, mentally and socially. Their wants, needs, expectations change. The charm of physical appearance, attraction, arousal, style etc goes off. They reach a state of nothing to talk, nothing in common, there is a difference of opinion in every thing, each considers the other as life-less, dull, lazy, useless, negative, they keep fighting, shouting, finding fault with each other for every small thing in life, in fact when one talks the other does not like, he/she hates, one feels silence or absence of the other person is better, some also feel 'when will he/she die!!'.
In the case of school or college age also it is almost the same.
(v) The fifth stage is the painful stage. Possessiveness which comes at the end of third stage, as the organism wants all the pleasures of third phase for entire life time, the security need, makes the person to be suspicious, monitor, police, check the other person. The mobile, emails, all personal gadgets and belongings, living and office spaces get checked, monitored and the person becomes a criminal detective expert!!...One person thinks that the other person will break the trust, honesty code and break the beliefs, promises etc and go to some other person which would result in loss of money, property, social status, emotional and physical support, legal support etc. The very thinking of this makes the person devastated and the negative thinking, emotions and behaviours become prominent in policing, monitoring and suspicion leading to fights, shouts, cries and finally breakup mentally or physically or socially or legally!!
In married life the first three stages come immediately after marriage and lasts for about 10 or a maximum of 15 years. Approximately the fourth stage comes at 40s and fifth stage during 50s when the body parts, systems start giving up. This leads to depression, sorrows, frustration loneliness etc.
(vi) The sixth stage is another wonderful phase of life...i.e finding another new person and a new relationship!!...The life starts afresh with all new First Phase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(vii) The repetition of phases continue till they reach the fifth stage of this new relationship.
After that what??????....The cycle repeats with the arrival of new person...new relationship....and the life goes on and on with lots of fun, learning, wisdom, people, relationships!!!...Every person becomes a wealth of experience in relationships...but outdated for every young person on earth!!!
Woffffffffffffffffffff.....is there any solution for this and escape from this??
1. One has to be groomed with strong EQ and SQ building life style and it should be a part of their every day living.
2. We should understand The Nature and its dynamics as described above...the above facts of life, living, people and relationships.
3. One should be self dependent for everything in life.
4. One should remain attached and detached with people and relationships.
5. Yoga, meditation, good physical-mental and social exercise regime, pets, art forms, passion, living in THE PRESENT, living dissolved in THE NATURE etc should be part of our lives.
6. One should limit the relationship at third stage itself, whether married or unmarried, and pursue DEVOTEE kind of relationship with their people of life...i.e 'I like and love my person for eternity, beyond my needs, wants and expectations. I will not demand and control anything from/of that person in any aspect of life. I feel peace, happiness and contentment from the very fact of thinking about that person. The other person's (spouse, children, parents, friends, siblings...all!!) thinking, emotions, behaviours, activities, decisions, the people in his/her life and his/ her relationships with them can not affect me or my living or my life.I am well protected in my peace, happiness, health, contentment, self actualisation and self transcending way of life and living through my pets, passion, art forms, profession, The Nature, my own memories, my moments, my place, my house etc.'
7. From the age of 5 to 25, one will know whether they can sustain any relationship at least for 20 years (till the children become adults). If they feel their life experiences or their personality traits can not sustain a relationship for that long, then it is better to remain unmarried or get married but live with out producing children. The world is going to evolve with new forms of old age support systems etc.
8. Parents should come out of traditional, redundant, outlived belief that 'every one born on this earth has to get married for life and living support'.
Keep rocking...Peacefully yours...Rams...Health Psychologist!!
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