Dear all....THIS IS FOR ALL!!...MOST IMPORTANTLY TO THE ADOLESCENTS AND WHO FEEL THAT THEY ARE ADOLESCENTS!!
LOVE....LOVE....LOVE...LOVE!!....This four letter word is taking the toll of many lives on this earth for thousands of years and will continue to kill many lives with an increasing trend!!
Every one talks about LOVE...there is no human being who did not die without experiencing it or thinking or talking about it!!
It is the basic of life, backbone of life, life of life and life-line of life!!
If something is so important then we need to know What is It or what is the definition of it in a manner that will give us peace, happiness, good physical-mental-social well-being, contentment, self actualisation and self transcending ability.
Almost every one associates this feeling with sex or physical relation ship and they suffer. But truly it is related to CARING for a person.
No one can live alone, isolated from Nature or its constituents and without falling in love with one or more of the constituents of Nature. So, falling in love or caring for someone or some place or something is basic instinct or natural behaviour of all living organisms of Nature.
We always associate Love with human beings and more commonly with the opposite sex with the feeling of lust which is body centric. But whereas Love is a mind related issue. It is perceived in the mind, nurtured in the mind, grown there, watered and cherished there and ends there.
All college students feel and talk soooooooo much about love that it is divine, it has no eyes, it is eternal and what not!!....The entire earth is filled with poems, stories and literature about this Love which no one can read in their entire life.
Many adults feel Love is all false when it is concerned with their children falling in love but when it comes to their love and lover it is eternal and divine. We have as many definitions, opinions, feelings, beliefs about Love as there were/are/will be many number of human beings born on this earth!!
There are hundreds of articles on Love and its social form, 'Relationships', in my blog...so, no more elaboration about love here!!
The crux of the post is...
1. HOW MANY LOVES WERE SUCCESSFUL TILL DATE AND HOW MANY LOVERS ENJOYED THEIR LOVE THROUGHOUT THEIR LIFE?
2. HOW MANY FELL IN LOVE WITH A PERSON WHO ALSO FELL IN LOVE WITH THEM?...THERE ARE SOOO MANY ONE SIDED LOVES!!...When girls fell in love one sided with boys, mostly the boys used them and left later. Mostly such girls remarried later and had this life event as a memory in their heart pricking or soothing them all throughout. When boys fell in love one sided mostly they were not used but they perceived that they are cheated due to their own issues. Anyway, when a person falls in one sided love with some one he or she suffers a lot due to the Feeling of Rejection. It affects them a lot negatively or positively with a great lesson of learning. Both the ways the person changes in some aspects of thinking, emotions, behaviours and overall personality. SO, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE THAT IF YOU FALL IN LOVE, THE OTHER PERSON WILL ALSO FALL IN LOVE AND THE PROBABILITY OF FAILURE IN LOVE IS EQUAL OR MORE!!!
3. EVEN IF THE OTHER PERSON FALLS IN LOVE WHAT IS THE GUARANTEE THAT HE OR SHE WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SAME INTENSITY??...If the intensities are not matching then also there is some sadness or frustration.
4. EVEN IF THE INTENSITIES ARE SAME THEN WHAT IS THE GUARANTEE THAT THE INTENSITIES WILL BE MATCHING BETWEEN BOTH FOR ENTIRE LIFE TIME AND AT EACH MOMENT OF LIVING?? (i.e decreasing or increasing to the same levels in both the persons at any time)...When the intensities change drastically between the two, then also there is some sadness and frustration. There are many people who say 'He used to love me sooooo much and with high intensities, now i doubt if he loves me at all!!'
5. WHAT IS THE GUARANTEE THAT THE OTHER PERSON WILL not 'un-love' or 'sign off' or NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON WITH SAME OR DIFFERENT INTENSITIES OR IN ONE-SIDED LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, SOME TIME IN LIFE??
so the crux of the issue is.......
1. Love is Love only when there is no expectations, wants, needs, possessiveness and related issues like demands, controls, restrictions etc. When Love gets mixed with Lust for money, wealth, body, pleasures, physical needs etc then Love will be perceived as a mixture of happiness and sadness and it will always haunt throughout life.
2. Only devotee kind of love (i.e 'i am in love. My feelings are only important for me and not the other person-his/her behaviours-thinking-whether the other person loves me or not. I am not possessive' etc.) is eternal and ever lasting. So, if you love some one, just don't bother about anything or anyone, keep loving that person irrespective of whether the other person loves you or not, after-all your love, your feelings of love is what gives you happiness and peace. We have Lord Krishna as a baby, adult and elderly god for mothers to enjoy love with the baby krishna, adult girls to enjoy their love with adult Krishna, and Old ladies to enjoy elderly Lord Krishna for their spiritual love thirst. So, Lord Krishna is always there to love girls of all ages and give them the sense of feeling of acceptance, love and affection, feel secured with respect to love irrespective of any human being loves them or not!!
3. Otherwise all kinds of love will fail one day and give sadness, frustration and broken hearts.
4. Best state is to keep the brain healthy and strong, thereby the mind formed to be healthy and strong, with exercises (for body, mind and socialisation) yoga, meditation, positive psychological thinking, emotions and behaviours so that....(a) the mind always thinks that there is abundance of love around it....(b) it feels secured with respect to the need for love and affection....(c) it always feels 'security of love' and never feels 'insecure', so that it does not whirl around looking or craving for love from human beings.
More later...
Keep rocking...Rams....Health Psychologist!!
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