this is for all parents/children and especially to those who have children between 13 to 21 years....

Dear all...THIS IS FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN BETWEEN 13 TO 21 YEARS AGE...

The biggest challenge for parents is they have some vision(??) or plans or idea of education, profession, family life, social life and living for their children. It is all about which course, which college, which place of study, where to work, what type of work, working hours, salary, houses and lands to be bought, the car or gold or precious metals and stones, the wealth or money to be made, his close relationships etc. Mostly it is smaller than that of the plans of the children truly.

The parents always feel the children are looking at the opposite direction, immature, inexperienced etc.

Mostly the entire family is divided on this topic. Everyone says different things because every one has a great and master life and living plan for the other person!!! Every one has a plan of their own for their life but others do not allow that to happen, the way they do not allow other people at home to follow their own passion.

E.g Father says 'engineering', mother says 'medicine' and child says 'singer' or 'dancer' or 'media'. Every one has their own reasons for their plans for others and of their own too. So, house becomes fish market and no one has peace and every one looks like different directions like the 9 planets at the south temples. They don't talk to each other.

What to do?

1. every job requires skills, knowledge and experience.

2. every human being has skills, knowledge and experience.

3. if both the above match then the magic happens.

4. people say 'interest' matters, but it keeps changing over entire life time, mostly with every one. Interest only may not help to reach the top in that profession. Very few are able to keep up their interest.

5. if a child says 'dance' or 'painting' or anything related to art form or skill sets then experts in that field can evaluate them, assess and come to a conclusion as to what levels they can reach in their passion or profession...whether it is a fantasy driven passion or skill set driven, or inner-self driven or child-prodigy driven passion. This can help the parents to decide what sort of wealth or fame or authority they can make in that profession. Accordingly the decision can be taken.

There are several time tested and globally followed testing tools also which could be used to check the matching levels of the person and their profession or passion.

If the results say that it is not fantasy driven then i think the children should be allowed to pursue their passion as such people would like to live in that 'world'...that is how their life is destined by destiny, Nature etc....if this is disturbed then they might get depressed, lose self esteem, may not perform well in the education or profession decided by the parents. Parents can think about how to support them, encourage them, inspire them, motivate them etc so that they feel 'acceptance' and loved by their parents.

But if it is fantasy driven, as assessed by the professionals, then the professionals can explain to the children scientifically, so that they listen and go by the suggestion of the experts.

Any thing told by the parents may not be acceptable to the children as 'where there is lack of satiation of expectations, one will not listen to the other'.

In the world of scientists there are two groups...one says 'we should go by the skills'...the other says 'we should go by the interests'...both the groups have their own reasoning, scientific proofs, perspectives etc to prove their part of truth...but i think as long as the interest or passion is not fantasy driven, we should go by the interest or passion side provided the skill sets are to adequate levels of gaining competency levels to make a decent living and live a life of dignity and self respect. Depending upon their comfort aspirations in living, life style etc they can either decide to live a family life or single living with life dedicated to their passion centric life!!...Parents should give them the freedom to live their life of their destiny with whatever they can make in their life for their satisfaction. Parents should not expect to share their children's living or life for their own selfish happiness on the name of 'family name' 'community expectations' 'status of family' etc.

Keep rocking...Rams....Health Psychologist.