Dear all...IMPORTANT POST FOR ALL TEENAGERS (of course, their parents too!!)...14 Feb is approaching!!...all the guys and gals who are bubbling with hormone effects are waiting to propose their love to their mates!!...already lots of posts are flying indicating 'i am still single!'!!...the dreamy days of teenagers!!
(i have made some statements. You may not agree with some of them. There are always exceptions. But we talk only about the average lot!!)
The sad part is they don't know what love is! (x: 'woffff...all the oldies are like this...!!). The number of days and nights they fought, wept, got frustrated, broke-up, missed classes, exams, tests, sleep, lost passionable hobbies are much more than their happy times (x: 'hey oldie, baldie! you don't know! the 'ponging' or 'streamy' love that springs out after the fight is sooooooooooo good, you don't know all that, just shut up!!). But it is a stressful pleasure, not peace, unstable state, such repeated fights and pleasure stress body, mind, strains the day, pleasure, happiness etc.
Adolescent is a mixed stage with behaviours of both childhood and adult hood. So, the girls are innocent, lovey, with lots of fun, happiness, bubbly bubbly. They are young, youthful, fleshy, shiny and many get their curves, shapes and figure by early teens due to good nourishment. So, every boy falls for these two. And all the behaviours that will bring in an attraction, liking, etc springs in the boys too. One among the behaviour is 'caring'. This caring attracts the girls. So, it is believed to be love.
So, truly in some cases it is difficult to judge whether it is love or lust. Even the boys don't know what is happening and therefore they can not be blamed, unless it is a planned plot to trap a girl.
It is not that girls are only affected. Even boys are affected. Anyway, it is a maturing process and in a love or lust, every one matures, after its causes and effects!!
Those children who are kept with lots of safeties by their parents only generally fall without any clue. But those early maturers who have faced challenges related to love and lust in their family or in their own lives mature fast and probably are able to figure out whether something is love or lust, whether it could become stable life long relationship or short lived dating period.
Anyway, lust being a part of love during early stages in life is unavoidable as getting attracted to opposite sex for reproductive needs is a Natural process, Nature's call. Keeping the children away from opposite sex is also not good for their later organisational and family life. They can fail miserably.
If a girl is too beautiful it will be hard for her to find a real love in life as most of them will approach her for only lust and leave her later. The boys are generally not able to look past their lust. A girl who is graded average and below by most of the boys probably can easily figure out who is in real love.
A girl can be sexy and hot, attractive or beautiful. I think the words clearly bring out about her appearance and need not be elaborated. Sexy and hot looks attracts boys for only lust and it is not strength for a girl as she can not make a life long stable, happy and peaceful relationship with a man using this. Some girls who feel not attractive to boys also give them a sexy and hot looks to attract boys. Attractive is sandwiched between lust and love. Beautiful is ‘being with divine appearance’. Every one will get attracted. Not with their body but with their heart or mind. This can also arouse and bring in the necessary amount of lust.
I think right combination of attractive and beautiful depending upon the situation in that moment in life will be the best.
Unfortunately most of the Indian boys are unable to figure out or not able to place importance for life long friendship over and above love and lust. When they place lust as the most important, which is unavoidable when their hormones are like a high pressure jet, give priority to lust over and above the life long friendship (which is very difficult to get, the most important back bone of life), then they lose that girl, that friendship!
Unfortunately both of them come to know whether it was only lust, or only love or a combination of love and lust, only after the physical need is met once or few times, before the marriage or after the marriage or everything starts sagging and become lose, when the shapes and curves vanish, when the youth vanishes and middle age brings in aged looks!!
There are many cases where the girl has gone in for marriage relationship with a guy saying 'wofffffffffff! he is the only guy who never looked at me with lust!...And he takes care of me!...so, he loves me!'. But the thing is some of these guys never lusted ever with that girl even after marriage!...They just love them tooooo much and adore them like an idol, queen etc but don't lust!!...We have such clear sparkling specimens too!!...so, the girls cry saying 'woffffffffff...he is a nice guy....he takes care of me like a queen and i don't think any one ever can take care of me like that!...But he has absolutely no lust towards me ever, and towards any other girl also!!!....It is ammazing to see such a guy and he is neutral!!.....It pains to leave him also because it is extremely difficult to find such nice noble dedicated loving souls!!...He loves physical intimacy, but there is no firing lust!!...This is also boring and frustrating at times yaar!!'....Especially during the early adult hood...i.e till 40 years!!...after that many girls enter into the 'learned helplessness' syndrome and become numb....so, nothing matters to them!!...they start enjoying that love without lust!!
So, my suggestion to all the girls is.......
1. Have an uninterrupted, nice, deep, night sleep for six hours every day for a healthy mind.
2. Get up early morning and do some exercise (healthy body and mind)
3. Focus on your passion, hobbies, studies, and GOAL.
4. Don't keep finding the right guy as your full time job and goal. Just forget about this and focus on your academics, sports interests, arts, hobbies etc.
5. Figure out your skills, competencies, interests, ambitions and make out your path in life, definition of life, how you will live, where, which culture, which country, where you will work, what types, how much time you can spend for your husband, grooming children, house keeping, for the aged people at home if you decide to live with them, cooking and other house chores etc your interest for marriage, married life, physical intimacy/sex etc and accordingly decide when, what, whom etc.
6. Be friendly with every one and do not commit. During mid twenties you will be stable, socialization stabilizes, you would have decided about every thing at para 5 above. At that time you will clearly see your guy amongst the few left or he will appear in front of you at the right time.
it is too late now...i am feeling sleepy...will continue this list tomorrow....
good night...peacefully yours...rams...
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