this is a cultural issue which makes us not to have great friendships for life time...let us leave it!!

Dear all…human beings generally have the habit of ‘making fun of others’. They enjoy a ‘pleasure’ by doing so.

This is done in the presence of that person in a group or in privacy. Some times a group of people discuss about a person who is not present there and make fun of him/her. It could be in a public place where hundreds and thousands who are not related to that person watch, in a open virtual social media where every one can see and can spread etc. It could be audio, visual or written.

Even in a family the parents criticize the children and vice versa. This is a culture across the world. It does not mean it is right and correct. This could happen with the grand parents and between siblings too. They all have fun together doing this. Mostly it is not liked by that person being criticized and results in fights, sad moments, unliked memories. It certainly affects the relationship between the people concerned.

This even affects the mental development of the children and leads to personality disorders which affects that person throughout life in all spheres of life. It makes them feel incapable, not confident to face challenges and even normal life, scared, remain isolated, do not participate in anything, do not socialise, remain within a shell, low self concept and self esteem, fail in married life, fail in profession, get depressed etc.

This type of making fun of others goes on between teachers, students, peer groups, between employees in organisations at all levels and even in social groups.

Almost in all social functions, ceremonies, festivals etc also when people gather to celebrate functions, they enjoy by making fun of others.

Generally one makes fun of the other person’s/group’s

1. Physical appearance
2. Personality traits
3. Knowledge, skills, competency levels
4. Thinking, emotions, behaviours
5. Belief systems, culture, heredity etc
6. Their friends, parents, relatives, caste, religion, language, race etc

Every one is affectionate with all these above and emotionally attached. No one likes when they are criticized or made fun of with respect to the above. They like when others positively remark and encourage with respect to the above.

WE THINK AMONGST CLOSE RELATIVES, FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS IT DOES NOT MATTER, THE OTHER PERSON DOES NOT MIND, IT DOES NOT AFFECT THEM ETC. IT IS NOT TRUE. THE DISLIKE REMAINS IN THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AS LONG AS THE REASON FOR THE RELATIONSHIP IS MET. THE NEEDS ARE MET. WHEN THE NEEDS REDUCE OR NOT MET, OR WHEN THERE IS PHYSICAL SEPARATION OR NEW RELATIONSHIPS ARE FORMED ETC THEN THESE MOMENTS AND ISSUES SURFACE TO THE CONSCIOUS MIND AND SLOWLY CUT DOWN THE RELATIONSHIP OR OPENLY FIGHT OR LEAVE THAT PERSON AND MOVE TO SOME OTHER PERSON TO SATISFY THEIR NEEDS OR EXPECTATIONS.

CERTAINLY THIS BEHAVIOUR WEAKENS A RELATIONSHIP SUBCONSCIOUSLY, WHICH IS NOT SEEN EXTERNALLY, AND SUCH A RELATIONSHIP CAN NOT REMAIN FOR LIFE TIME!!

Today at home, at schools and colleges, in social forums and organisations there is so much pressure on every individual for performance, acceptance, rewards, emotional support, love and affection etc which are back bones of happiness, peace and physical-mental-social wellbeing. There are enough people to kick under the belly, exploit, supercede, cheat etc in the competitive environment to be successful.

There are not many people to really care, support, appreciate, encourage, show love and affection, groom, etc on the things which I listed above which are close to every individual.

This is certainly a spoiler of peace, happiness, unity, marriage, love, friendships etc in all social systems and in the society. We are not cultivating a positive, enforcing, grooming culture in the society. Not teaching a good habit to our children to make and retain great relationships. And we blame them if their marriage or love fails!!

So, don’t criticize or make fun of any one, even for fun or time pass, specially people who are close to you, whom you consider your besties, soul mate, life-mate, lover etc. It certainly hurts and makes a deep wound in their minds. Don’t assume that nothing will happen and cry later after you lose your great friend forever. Remember, getting a real good friend for life time, which is a must for happiness, peace and well-being for entire life, is a rare thing and don’t miss that life time oppurtunity you got!

Some times people show case their talents of being funny, cracking jokes through acting etc. Even that time don’t make them jokers or don’t make an image of ‘they are jokers’. Instead encourage them and appreciate their talents. This will motivate them for skill development in story telling, acting etc.

ALWAYS ENCOURAGE, HELP, MOTIVATE, APPRECIATE THEIR POSITIVES, HELP THEM TO CONVERT THE NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES, BE A GREAT PILLAR OF SUPPORT, SHOW LOVE AND AFFECTION, BE CARING, MAKE THEM FEEL ‘THEY ARE FULLY SECURED’, NEVER MAKE THEM FEEL INSECURE, ‘FEELING OF REJECTION’ (WHICH MAKES A PERSON ISOLATED, FEEL LONELY, DEPRESSED, COMMIT SUICIDE ETC)

So, if you have been making fun of any of your bestie or lover or better-half etc then immediately go, hug, give a nice kiss, and promise that you will never make fun of them and remain a great life time friend!!

Will you do it...?

Let us spread positives and leave a good, enhancing culture to the future generations....!!

peacefully yours...rams