hai all...
some more views about love from different experts...
"Love is Self-imposed. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It's something that is received when we let go of the burdens, struggles, hardships, and defense mechanisms and open our hearts to receive Divine Everlasting Love."
"WaW..after 15 years, long time, again I got the chance to participate discussion about "LOVE"..I understand, every person have their own feelings,views and experienced about "LOVE" so its mean billions people of the world have different interpretation,explanation,description etc,childhood,youth,old age,married,unmarried,men women,the ideas and experience also varies according to a person effected in different saturation.Second,I believe every living things feel love because "LOVE" is beautiful feeling which is gifted by nature "GOD".In my point of view there are three categories of "LOVE",1.Common love,2.Romantic love,3.Spiritual love.
1.Common Love-Between family,friends,common peoples,animals,nature.2.Romantic Love-Between men and women,with a particular things in a particular creatures,3.Spiritual Love-Between human and God.(Sufism).Explanation all these take lots of time but i hope you people are understand."
The second type of love is that which occurs in adulthood, based on social issues and the introduction of sexual attraction. Naturally, the structure of the first experience of love has a profound influence on the second type in terms of choice of partner, behaviour toward that person, expectations, and so on. There are numerous variables that come into play in this second type of love because of the social environment and consequences, sexual attraction and interactional dynamics that now profoundly complicate the picture. This is why I rarely delve into adult love issues, since I believe they often center around a totally different dynamic, that is, the balance of power in the dyadic relationship."
And then the human being can "chose" to ACCEPT it, or not.
My humble opinion is that we (on average, and as a culture/society) DON'T, and this causes plenty of disturbing consequences. :-)
And this because we keep JUDGING that "reason/function", instead of simply ACCEPTING it. So we keep INVENTING different reasons and different "ways it should be", neither of which is "true" and/or "works". :-)
But who am I to tell? This is, again, only my two cents worth of thoughts. Didn't read anything that could change this though... yet. "
http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1038/embor.2012.191?locale=en"
Sometimes even if we love someone, the other person is not in a state to understand and receive our love!
Foll are some love quotes by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, spiritual leader! When I read such quotes, love seems to be the purpose of our lives! I believe that Love and knowledge are the main purpose of our lives!
"You may pour all your love on somebody, but you should also see how much love they can take.
When water is falling with a lot of force, you cannot stand underneath it, you will lose your head. So, you need to control the tap. If you open the tap with full force and keep an empty bottle under it, the bottle will remain empty. You have to open the tap only so much such that the bottle gets filled.
Similarly, when you love somebody unconditionally, do not express it all at once. They will run away."
"Love is not an emotion, it is your very existence!"
"I know only one magic – love. It is the magic which binds everything together."
"The direction of life is only towards Love. Prosperity has no value without Love."
"The love that is defined by a relationship is limited. Dive deep into a Love that is beyond relationship."
"Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated. The psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" in her 1979 book Love and Limerence"
"when action is not equal to reaction....there is love' "
To me unconditional love is not the "act" of loving unconditionally. Unconditional love has nothing to do with anyone else. The goal is to be in a state of unconditional divine love while we are with whomever we are with. When we are in that state the right words come out at the right time, with the right amount of emotion that is right for all without having to think about how much one can handle. As in your statement, "Love is not an emotion, it is your very existence!"
some more views about love from different experts...
"Love is Self-imposed. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It's something that is received when we let go of the burdens, struggles, hardships, and defense mechanisms and open our hearts to receive Divine Everlasting Love."
"WaW..after 15 years, long time, again I got the chance to participate discussion about "LOVE"..I understand, every person have their own feelings,views and experienced about "LOVE" so its mean billions people of the world have different interpretation,explanation,description etc,childhood,youth,old age,married,unmarried,men women,the ideas and experience also varies according to a person effected in different saturation.Second,I believe every living things feel love because "LOVE" is beautiful feeling which is gifted by nature "GOD".In my point of view there are three categories of "LOVE",1.Common love,2.Romantic love,3.Spiritual love.
1.Common Love-Between family,friends,common peoples,animals,nature.2.Romantic Love-Between men and women,with a particular things in a particular creatures,3.Spiritual Love-Between human and God.(Sufism).Explanation all these take lots of time but i hope you people are understand."
"Here is what love is in my mind, and how I have successfully treated my patients. It is best to distinguish between 2 kinds of love. One is the love of any child toward an adult as an attachment figure, a process that occurs between 0-6 months of age. The loss of this love, once the attachment is formed, is the most devastating experience in life, and will follow the individual for a lifetime in the form of a depressive core.
The second type of love is that which occurs in adulthood, based on social issues and the introduction of sexual attraction. Naturally, the structure of the first experience of love has a profound influence on the second type in terms of choice of partner, behaviour toward that person, expectations, and so on. There are numerous variables that come into play in this second type of love because of the social environment and consequences, sexual attraction and interactional dynamics that now profoundly complicate the picture. This is why I rarely delve into adult love issues, since I believe they often center around a totally different dynamic, that is, the balance of power in the dyadic relationship."
"What is love?
The missing piece.
No. The missing PEACE!
When I first wrote this little ditty above, I had to really think about what it meant. How is love the missing peace?
The Act Of Loving or the State of Being Loved
Many people think love is doing for others, caring for others, and taking care of others. And that is the “act” of loving. However, unless we care for ourselves first there is no “I” inside to love another. Just like the instructions on an airplane for survival, before helping others, we have to put on our own oxygen mask first. Love isn’t something we do, it’s something we are. And that comes by taking care of ourselves first and being open to receiving love and being loved.
And what is love?
Love is a feeling that comes to us and through us when we’re in a state of inner peace and open to receiving. It comes with being intimate with ourselves; our higher selves. And what is our higher self? It’s the peaceful, loving, creative, compassionate part of ourselves that lends itself to goodness.
Most people are givers rather than receivers of love. And when we keep giving and feel like it’s not returned that’s when we criticize and blame others for not being there for us. We begin to withhold love. When we withhold love to others, we also withhold love from ourselves. Our hearts close off. In reality we’re not there for ourselves because we’re so busy giving we’re not open to receiving goodness. Just ponder this for a moment. How easy is it for you to receive compliments, to ask for help and let other people help you? How easy is it for you to just be rather than do and experience the warmth and love within yourself?
The act of “being” isn’t a passive state. It’s rather an ecstatic state. It’s a state of being open to creative flow and universal love. And it’s in this state of open-hearted love that we feel whole, complete, creative and compassionate. It’s in being in the flow that we feel so fulfilled within ourselves that we love doing for others and also can stand up for ourselves and set boundaries.
How do we experience this flow? By being in a state of inner peace. And that comes with loving ourselves by honoring ourselves enough to reach that state of peace.
What does it mean to love ourselves?
I have many clients tell me they do love themselves. They take care of themselves through a regular exercise regime, eat nutritionally, get massages, manicures, and pedicures regularly and are generally good to themselves. They feel like they’re good, caring people who do for others. Yet, they still feel unfulfilled and often unloved. That’s because they’re taking care of themselves physically, but not mentally or emotionally. They do regular workouts but not workins. They neglect themselves and their souls by resisting to look within.
I had a client who constantly complained about her husband being too materialistic. She said she isn’t like that. However, she learned that what we criticize in another is usually something in ourselves that is unresolved. So she asked me, “Do you think I am materialistic?” I asked her, “What’s your priority, shopping or processing thoughts and feelings? She said, “Ouch.”
How do we love ourselves?
To love ourselves is to honor ourselves by looking within and processing our thoughts, feelings, speech and actions and tempering them until we reach a state of peace. It’s in that state of inner peace that we experience an expansiveness, an openness to our innately loving, wise selves; our Souls. Loving ourselves is staying in touch with this part of our Self. It’s honoring the love within ourselves that comes from our Higher selves. It’s when we’re in this state of inner peace that we experience the deeper love from within. That’s why love is in the “missing peace.”
The missing piece.
No. The missing PEACE!
When I first wrote this little ditty above, I had to really think about what it meant. How is love the missing peace?
The Act Of Loving or the State of Being Loved
Many people think love is doing for others, caring for others, and taking care of others. And that is the “act” of loving. However, unless we care for ourselves first there is no “I” inside to love another. Just like the instructions on an airplane for survival, before helping others, we have to put on our own oxygen mask first. Love isn’t something we do, it’s something we are. And that comes by taking care of ourselves first and being open to receiving love and being loved.
And what is love?
Love is a feeling that comes to us and through us when we’re in a state of inner peace and open to receiving. It comes with being intimate with ourselves; our higher selves. And what is our higher self? It’s the peaceful, loving, creative, compassionate part of ourselves that lends itself to goodness.
Most people are givers rather than receivers of love. And when we keep giving and feel like it’s not returned that’s when we criticize and blame others for not being there for us. We begin to withhold love. When we withhold love to others, we also withhold love from ourselves. Our hearts close off. In reality we’re not there for ourselves because we’re so busy giving we’re not open to receiving goodness. Just ponder this for a moment. How easy is it for you to receive compliments, to ask for help and let other people help you? How easy is it for you to just be rather than do and experience the warmth and love within yourself?
The act of “being” isn’t a passive state. It’s rather an ecstatic state. It’s a state of being open to creative flow and universal love. And it’s in this state of open-hearted love that we feel whole, complete, creative and compassionate. It’s in being in the flow that we feel so fulfilled within ourselves that we love doing for others and also can stand up for ourselves and set boundaries.
How do we experience this flow? By being in a state of inner peace. And that comes with loving ourselves by honoring ourselves enough to reach that state of peace.
What does it mean to love ourselves?
I have many clients tell me they do love themselves. They take care of themselves through a regular exercise regime, eat nutritionally, get massages, manicures, and pedicures regularly and are generally good to themselves. They feel like they’re good, caring people who do for others. Yet, they still feel unfulfilled and often unloved. That’s because they’re taking care of themselves physically, but not mentally or emotionally. They do regular workouts but not workins. They neglect themselves and their souls by resisting to look within.
I had a client who constantly complained about her husband being too materialistic. She said she isn’t like that. However, she learned that what we criticize in another is usually something in ourselves that is unresolved. So she asked me, “Do you think I am materialistic?” I asked her, “What’s your priority, shopping or processing thoughts and feelings? She said, “Ouch.”
How do we love ourselves?
To love ourselves is to honor ourselves by looking within and processing our thoughts, feelings, speech and actions and tempering them until we reach a state of peace. It’s in that state of inner peace that we experience an expansiveness, an openness to our innately loving, wise selves; our Souls. Loving ourselves is staying in touch with this part of our Self. It’s honoring the love within ourselves that comes from our Higher selves. It’s when we’re in this state of inner peace that we experience the deeper love from within. That’s why love is in the “missing peace.”
"in our context, reason and function are just the same. Function sounds objective and reason subjective. But if you admit function, why would reason not follow? On the other hand, reason sounds as if it was free, as if the human being could chose the reason. If that is so, it becomes obvious that reason is not a sufficient explanation. What then makes the human being chose one or the other reason? Better forget about reason and function altogether when it comes to emotions."
""Our context"? you seem to take for granted that we put this question in the same context, which I'm almost sure we don't. :-)
Beside that, no, the human being can't "chose" the reason. Yet, he can EXPERIENCE the "reason". Discern it. Understand it. Use whatever verb with this kind of meaning you like. :-) And then the human being can "chose" to ACCEPT it, or not.
My humble opinion is that we (on average, and as a culture/society) DON'T, and this causes plenty of disturbing consequences. :-)
And this because we keep JUDGING that "reason/function", instead of simply ACCEPTING it. So we keep INVENTING different reasons and different "ways it should be", neither of which is "true" and/or "works". :-)
But who am I to tell? This is, again, only my two cents worth of thoughts. Didn't read anything that could change this though... yet. "
"See The Biochemistry of Love: An Oxytocin Hypothesis
http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1038/embor.2012.191?locale=en"
"it reminded me off a beautiful indian tamil movie 'guna'...there are many guys and gals, who fall for and go behind a person of opposite sex, even if they don't like them or love them, make them love through at least sympathies and spoil their happiness due to their possessiveness, cutting their freedom and affecting their lives in every possible way!...i think they fall in this when their state of mind is not stable and ok...some of them land up in killing the other person if they don't love after all their efforts to persuade"
"Is "love" anything more than a chemical reaction within ourselves beginning with the chemical release in the brain. As "love" changes in the relationship this is the outcome of the changed chemical reactions. Is this all that is love between two people?"
"I agree with you that one has to love oneself to be able to give and receive love. Meditation helps us to look within and makes us peaceful and loving! So daily practice of meditation can do wonders!
Sometimes even if we love someone, the other person is not in a state to understand and receive our love!
Foll are some love quotes by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, spiritual leader! When I read such quotes, love seems to be the purpose of our lives! I believe that Love and knowledge are the main purpose of our lives!
"You may pour all your love on somebody, but you should also see how much love they can take.
When water is falling with a lot of force, you cannot stand underneath it, you will lose your head. So, you need to control the tap. If you open the tap with full force and keep an empty bottle under it, the bottle will remain empty. You have to open the tap only so much such that the bottle gets filled.
Similarly, when you love somebody unconditionally, do not express it all at once. They will run away."
"Love is not an emotion, it is your very existence!"
"I know only one magic – love. It is the magic which binds everything together."
"The direction of life is only towards Love. Prosperity has no value without Love."
"The love that is defined by a relationship is limited. Dive deep into a Love that is beyond relationship."
"This is what love isn't:
"Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated. The psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" in her 1979 book Love and Limerence"
"Love is a name used for bits of memory saved at a very special place in our hard drive/brain. this special place does not have a delete option and what is saved in the very begining is above all recuring incidents. For me Love is a solution to problems/illnesses that medicine cannot finish. God has made this to keep this life interesting at all ages, for all genders. I have read all of the above comments and appreciate the new thoughts that were shared by all of you.
"when action is not equal to reaction....there is love' "
"Love is the force of life. It is the basis of gratitude, appreciation, forgiveness, being non-judgemental, genuine community and communication, and selflessness. Not to be confused with selfish ego driven desires that is at the center if most "romantic" relationships that may be better described as lust."
"However, I like to make the distinction between loving someone unconditionally and being in a state of unconditional love. Your quote, "Similarly, when you love somebody unconditionally, do not express it all at once. They will run away."
To me unconditional love is not the "act" of loving unconditionally. Unconditional love has nothing to do with anyone else. The goal is to be in a state of unconditional divine love while we are with whomever we are with. When we are in that state the right words come out at the right time, with the right amount of emotion that is right for all without having to think about how much one can handle. As in your statement, "Love is not an emotion, it is your very existence!"
"Dopamine is the chemical that creates the feeling within us because of its effect on the brain. Dopamine increases and serotonin decreases - apparently. We are attracted to someone that is pleasing to our natures and to our various energies and this is what starts the chemical reactions. These reactions are not eternal and sooner or later the passion of love then will fade and sometimes is replaced with companionship and deeper caring for another. Love is often selfish but when it is happening to us then it is very profound but it is a chemical reaction. As with most reactions then it is up to us as to how we develop the effects of this within our body and mind. This is just my postulation?"
"Gila Manolson says all the following about love in an article which is interesting:
Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person.
Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.
The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love."
So what is love ― real, lasting love?
Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.
After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages (The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts), Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding."
To the Jewish mind, it isn't unexpected at all. What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.
If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen ― you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.
By focusing on the good we can love almost any one!
Love is a choice.
How can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. The best way to feel loving is to be loving ― and that means giving. So, when we give, i.e action, then it automatically affects our feelings, and brings in love!
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love.
What is giving? When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday ― a triple-decker toolbox!" that's not giving. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is."
These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her."
Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person.
Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.
The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love."
So what is love ― real, lasting love?
Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.
After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages (The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts), Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding."
To the Jewish mind, it isn't unexpected at all. What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.
If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen ― you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.
By focusing on the good we can love almost any one!
Love is a choice.
How can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. The best way to feel loving is to be loving ― and that means giving. So, when we give, i.e action, then it automatically affects our feelings, and brings in love!
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love.
What is giving? When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday ― a triple-decker toolbox!" that's not giving. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is."
These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her."
"Interestingly to me all religions have a very strong emphasis on love-love your neighbor and love your self-love all beings and love all things in nature. Love and care for each other as we would wish others to love and care for ourselves. These are of course wonderful and desirable human attributes however humans have proven over time that we are not capable of being able to truly love. In the way of loves comes our ego and our own selfish desires and greed and so we find ourselves in a climate of endless wars, conflicts, greed and corruption and tragic starvation and illness throughout the World. Love should be the cure but therein lies the problem. Humans get in the way of such a wonderful virtue."
"the views of Gila Manolson in the article of the author continues...
The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.
Many years ago, I met a woman whom I found very unpleasant. So I decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. One day I invited her for dinner. A few days later I offered to help her with a personal problem. On another occasion I read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Today we have a warm relationship. The more you give, the more you love. This is why your parents (who've given you more than you'll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they'll love you.
Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time ― which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.
A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years. "A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me. "The downs can be really low ― and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse."
Dr. Jill Murray (author of But I Love Him: Protecting Your Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships) writes that if someone mistreats you while professing to love you, remember: "Love is a behavior." A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving ― not only saying, "I love you," but showing it.
The author's website www.gilamanolson.com. has more such interesting facts on issues of life. Liked the articles Gila Manolson!!"
The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.
Many years ago, I met a woman whom I found very unpleasant. So I decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. One day I invited her for dinner. A few days later I offered to help her with a personal problem. On another occasion I read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Today we have a warm relationship. The more you give, the more you love. This is why your parents (who've given you more than you'll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they'll love you.
Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time ― which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.
A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years. "A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me. "The downs can be really low ― and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse."
Dr. Jill Murray (author of But I Love Him: Protecting Your Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships) writes that if someone mistreats you while professing to love you, remember: "Love is a behavior." A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving ― not only saying, "I love you," but showing it.
The author's website www.gilamanolson.com. has more such interesting facts on issues of life. Liked the articles Gila Manolson!!"
more will come guys and gals...keep rocking
rams
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